Am I a bad person for wanting my mom to die?

She's very controlling and even though I'm almost 30 years old she still feels the need to control my life and she's the reason I can't ever keep a relationship with a man. Sometimes I feel like telling her "just shut the fuck up and die already!!!"

Am am I wrong for that? I mean honestly I can't wait till she's dead because then I don't have to hear her mouth or anything she will just be gone and I'll be free!!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Lol... I thought i was the only one... I can write encyclopedias about how much i hate that woman... wishing she would die eventually wasn't doing it for me anymore so i just cut myself and her apart... now my life is monumentally better with no contact. Doesn't make you a bad person, you are just reacting the same way someone would when being oppressed.

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    • Thank you!!! Omg I hate mine so bad!!! :(

    • my hate fille me so much it started to affect me in other ways... i had to let it go...

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know she sounds like she can't let you have your own life. Maybe she'll just die on her own

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What Guys Said 12

  • Get a friend to rant with, it will make things easier for you

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  • You'll always be a baby to your parents...
    If you're living with her then tough luck...

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  • She doesn't need to die to stop trying to control you.

    You should assert yourself and tell her you will not tolerate that behavior from her. If that doesn't work, then you limit contact with her until she stops.

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  • Well, you seem to be over 25 so my best advice is to move away from her. You feel pressured and drown out by your mom so staying away for a while is the healthiest thing.

    You need time alone, to introspect. And those negative feelings will dissipate. If you stay with her, and she has no intention/interest to fix things with you nothing will get resolved and your frustration will only increase. You need time off to heal all this shit.

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  • Yes of course.

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  • No. "You are a bad person" is an understatement.

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  • Can't you just move away from her?

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    • I do have my own place she still seeks to make me miserable

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    • Here you said you DO have your own place. In answering @Ihav2fart you said "I don't have my own place." Which is it?

      One way or the other be in your own place and ignore her, even refusing to answer the phone. You don't need to wish her dead, just wish yourself some cajunes to stand up to her and not let her control you.

  • You are a bad person.

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  • If you don't like her, you don't like her. I don't think it makes you a bad person.

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  • No I felt that way about my dad until he died I'm much better off now that he's gone

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  • No one can judge you as a person based on one aspect of your character. It's tough, but I think you need to take a more practice stance. You're a grown woman after all, it's time you started behaving like one. And if that involves telling your Mom to shut the fuck up, by all means do so. Loudly and repeatedly.

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    • Practice? That should read pro-active.

  • Yeah, pretty much. You never know who else you might wish death upon, it's insane behavior

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What Girls Said 12

  • Yes, you are, because you're an adult who can make her own choices. Woman up and make your own choices instead of wishing death on the woman who raised you.

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  • you're acting like a 5 year old. You're nearly 30 and it seems like you're a minor that doesn't have any willpower to do anything but tell her mother to die? If your mom was so bad and cruel to you, perhaps it's time to pack up your bags, move away and limit your contact with her. You're not 5 so you have the ability to do that.

    I don't know what relationship you had with your mother at an earlier age. I don't know if she abused you or what... I haven't walked in your shoes. Personally I hold human life to the upmost degree. I'd never wish death upon my worst enemy much less a family member.

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  • Am sure it will have already been suggested.. MOVE OUT.. And just what the hell is a 30 yr old still doing living at home anyway?

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    • Obviously you haven't read the comments. I've been moved out for years now.

  • nah ur just angry!

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  • You've got the choice to cut her out of your life to stop talking to her. If you feel that way about her then for you and your sanity stop the relationship.

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  • No need to kill her. Just move!!! Go to another country. That's what I will do because my parents drive me nuts.

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  • You may need to cut her completely out of your life. These people in here trying to call you a bad person have obviously never suffered the emotionally crippling effects of an abusive mother.

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    • I have talked to a few people who were so relieved when their abusive parent died. I'm not saying death to your mother but I just want you to know that you are not alone♡

  • I can't even begin to count the many times I've thought this about my mum, and I'd like to think I'm not too bad of a person lol, but I totally get where you're coming from, I mean I'm still a teenager (so society says it's normal to feel 'controlled by your parents') but I feel unreasonably controlled by my mum, she's always telling me what to do with social interactions, how I should act, what I should say etc...

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  • Well I do think it's wrong because that's your mother. but i'm hoping you don't actually mean it and it's the counting frustration and stress your mother causes you. I can relate to your situation my mother is African so she has a lot to say and judge and i'm only 19 and graduated high school last year, yet she is already making me feel bad about not achieving anything yet. Why do you have to spend so much time with her if your an adult now?

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  • Uh yeah?
    But then, there's a simple solution to this... MOVE THE HECK OUT!!

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    • I've been moved out for years

    • Yeah I read that. Lol. Sorry. I wrote my comment before I read the others.

      But anyway, wanting your mom died is crazy. Although I completely 200% know exactly what ur going through, I still didn't wish my mom died because zi know I would miss her too much in the end, but it'd have been too late. Before my mom got remarried, she was the biggest pain in my neck, butt and back. She took advantage of me and my money, and she was very immature and selfish to the core. Always putting me down for not having a "sexy slim body" like she does. I hated her for a while, but then there's always a part deep inside you that wants your mom.

  • Why not just set boundaries and stick to them?

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    • Tried that she never follows through

    • Then make her. I've had to do this with people. If all else fails move away. Like hours away. Sometimes you gotta do things to live your own life.

    • And maybe see a therapist. Go by ourself or together. They will be able to help you come up with a solution.

  • Move out. If you've already moved out, just say no when she tells you things... you don't have to obey her.

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