- You're a pathetic loser19% (4)36% (10)29% (14)Vote
- It's okay81% (17)54% (15)65% (32)Vote
- answers0% (0)10% (3)6% (3)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
There;s nothing wrong with that. Perhaps you need to seek different alternatives to finding a mate.
For instance, you can pursue online dating. It's not the same as going up to a woman at a bar, but you're on a computer. There's sites like shydating. org that you can join which will let you be around people who are similar to you.
You can also use a wingman. Whenever you're out, have a guy/girl friend chat up the woman you'd like to talk to and see if they're interested (I always like doing this. It's so fun).
Another thing would be utilizing liquid courage. Although I'm not a fan of you (or anyone) drinking themselves to oblivion or getting cirrhosis, taking a couple of shots might warm your belly and lower your inhibitions enough to allow you to pursue the woman.
You could gain confidence as well. That can be done in many ways: rationalizing that your fear of rejection is irrational, many people get rejected, and that it's not the end of the world. Or if it's a negative self-perception of yourself (like you're hefty, you think you're unattractive or more), eradicate or find a solution to them so it does not impede your progress in pursuing a woman.
I caution that you do NOT fall into the self-fulfilling prophecy that a lot of people do. For instance, let's say that you feel like a loser for not being able to obtain a woman. You gain a modicum of confidence to approach a woman, she's a bitch and destroys your self-esteem, and that experience reiterates that you're a loser.
... Not true, This is a VICIOUS cycle that MANY people are stuck revolving in. You need to break yourself out of this negativity. I would start with refraining from calling yourself anything negative and combating any harmful thought with a positive realistic one.
In all, you're not a loser or pathetic. There are many women who actually prefer shy guys or guys who lack confidence to not approach a woman (many on here have said so) and many who will approach you. Times are changing and gender roles aren't rigid anymore just like many social customs. It's becoming a time where wo/men can approach wo/men and pay for dates. (Still depends on the individual of course).
Most Helpful Guy
No, you're not a pathetic loser. You aren't breaking the law, or hurting someone intentionally.
I have had girlfriends in the past, but that's because the girls approached me themselves. Otherwise, I too would have probably never had a girlfriend until now. But I don't consider myself a 'loser'. Pursuing or not pursing women doesn't make someone a winner or a loser.0