How can I be more positive about my future?

The past few years have been pretty rough for me. I've struggled both personally and professionally (manipulative relationship, having to work two or three jobs, self-esteem issues, struggled to find better jobs, got fired from a job when I didn't do anything wrong, financial issues, women being dishonest with me, struggling with depression and anxiety).

I'm starting a new job on Monday and I'll finally be able to move out in January. I don't feel stronger or invigorated or optimistic though. I feel angry, bitter, and hateful. I've tried positive thinking before. Every New Year, I tell myself "things will be different next year", but it's always more of the same. How can I be more positive?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can empathize with a few of the issues you've been dealing with and with the limited information I have I think the heart of the problem is self esteem. I still struggle with it a bit at times but when I had serious problems with it I noticed that I expected less for myself. I put limits on my own happiness whether it be with women or things in the professional side of my life. I've had a manipulative relationship in my past and now I look back and realize I can do so much better. I used to juggle part time jobs instead of focusing on staying anywhere. A few years ago I tried to get back into college and I ended up dropping all my classes because I was afraid to give it my all and fail. All those things were due to my shaky self esteem I realize now.

    Building that up and wearing it like armor has been one of those most difficult things in my life. I'm still not totally there yet to be honest. Hey you're a smart, talented, and great guy so you have everything it takes to get started. Everyday start with baby steps. I know it feels silly but tell yourself you're worth it everyday whether it be with women or in business. If there are any glaring issues you have that effect your self worth then focus on working on that first. In my own life I've struggled with maintaining weight so I started a cardio routine which has really helped with depression. Even just getting out there for small amounts of time can really work wonders on how you feel about yourself. Depression can be a real killer. It can be so hard to get out of bed in the morning when we feel like we have nothing going on. But even with a positive mindset life will always throw obstacles in our way. Some negative things are truly out of our hands. I've been fired from a decent job because the staff didn't train me properly and nobody warned me about it until it reached the higher ups. I definitely feel you on that particular injustice.

    Overall you just need to identify things about yourself that you feel pull you down. Try to look at it objectively because I know how easy it is to find faults in ourselves that really don't exist especially with depression. The biggest lesson to me in life is that we only pursue that which we feel we deserve. When we get bitter and our self esteem is low we subconsciously feel we deserve less. We aim for a lower tier and ignore that little voice in the back of our mind telling us that we deserve more. You DO deserve more 👍🏼
    Feel free to message me bro.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your future is probably relatively bleak. No point in riling yourself up for otherwise.

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    • That's not what I asked. I'm not asking how to lie to myself.

    • Positivity, if it comes from nowhere, is merely a self-delusion. Instead of telling yourself it will be different just make it become different. Force the changes you crave even if you have to do it slowly, step by step, inch by inch; the only positive thing you need, if you are willing, is to realize that you are able.

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