I have body dysmorphia and I can't stop cutting?

I've always been uncomfortable with my looks. When I was a toddler, I would scratch my face until it bled (only when I looked in mirrors) and my mom had to put gloves on me.

In middle school, I started pulling my hair out, and picking my gums until they bled. It gave me a sense of relief.

Now, I'm 18 and a senior in HS, and I've been cutting since 10th grade. I just hate myslef. I'm too skinny, and everyone is always telling me how unattractive that is.

I have an ugly face, no boobs, and i just hate every single thing about myself.

I have BDD (body dismorphic disorder) and I was wondering if someone could help give me advice. Will I be alone forever? I doubt anyone could ever love someone so disgusting with ugly scars..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Lets put it this way, you're probably making your body look worse, by adding cuts and scars to it

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    • I think that's pretty obvious. Thank you though, Sherlock!

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    • How is that the fucking light at the end of the fucking tunnel. You suck at giving advice!

    • Just sayin'. If she already has bad body image, why add to it?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I used to be a cutter, I struggled with it from the age of 12-19, I have scars all over my body, I have found a few rare gems who love me anyway. I've also ran into people who judge me for them and I always just tell them that I had issues in the past. My troubles were not quite like yours, I had a horrible childhood and took it out on myself and became addicted to the feeling of being in control of the harm I caused myself. You will find people who will not judge you, they are out there, but you're going to have to learn how to be comfortable with you and show them who you are on the inside and not just what you have on the outside.
    Good luck girl, I know this isn't an easy feat.

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    • Thank you for being someone who gets it :) I hate it when people say that cutting is only for attention. I cut my upper thighs where you could only see if I wore a bathing suit (which I haven't in 5 years). It's not like I'm putting this on display for all the world to see...

    • You are very welcome. No, it isn't, I cut myself where people couldn't see them until I ran out of space. It's not easy to stop either, I went through horrible mental withdrawal when I attempted to stop, I needed that relief, the rush of endorphins, the sheer satisfaction of knowing that I was totally and completely in control, until one day, I was in the shower and scrubbed my scars so hard trying to wash them off, that I opened a few of them. That's when I knew that it was time to stop. I sat down, looked at myself and who I had become, and forced myself to be the person that I was on the inside.

    • You are beautiful no matter how many scars you have! You just have to believe that yourself.

What Guys Said 4

  • Hey, don't think like that.
    Someone will love you.
    You will find someone,
    However you really need to get help.
    That will help you get better

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    • But I've got mental disorders myself and so does my girlfriend, for the longest time I never thought anyonee would love me.
      But Im happy now.
      You need to get help and wait.
      Trust me you will find someone
      You are wonderful person in all likelyhood and and you need to talk to someone,
      please for your sake seek help

  • I'm sure you're beautiful, most of the time, the ones called ugly, are the most beautiful girl in the school, a lot of miss. Americas were called ugly, so don't lists to those people, I'm sure you look perfect :)

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  • Your a little nuts. Seek professional help.

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  • Come on you'll find some one

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What Girls Said 6

  • Don't listen to what they say at school. I know you've heard it before but while I never self mutialted my BFF did. She got really bad in scool. She had a bad home life but she got some help and through counseling she worked out was the underlying cause of her selfmutilaton. People will always have something bad to say it may or may not be about you/me. I feel your pain I do I was made fun of horribly and daily it hurt still does but you've got to be strong get some help. You won't always be stuck in that school.

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  • being skinny IS attractive even if you dont have boobs. they just say that cuz theyre jealous because most girls secretly want to be skinny.
    dont hurt yourself and dont think like that. you just need to feel attention or feel special because that piece is missing from your life and im sorry. so make some friends or go to your family because if theyre decent they will comfort you and you will see that you are not ugly. I personally believe that everyone is beautiful. sometimes its hidden within them, sometimes its only on the inside and other times it just needs some encouragement.
    the next time you are feeling angry or sad or anything else that would make you want to cut yourself, do something that makes you happy. maybe its a favorite song you like or a great book youve read, maybe even just talking to someone. but im always here so message me if you need any help ill always be here for a fellow member of gag in need.

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  • I'm crying right now reading this. Can you please message me @marvelgirl2016. I really have to talk to you. Please make time to message me.

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  • I'm so sorry to hear that. You need to get psychologic help, gag can't tell you much about this.

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  • You should message me. I think I could help you.

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  • I was a cutter from about 13-28, I feel you. It's basically a messed up coping mechanism. I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which basically teaches you how to cope with feeling overwhelmed and to end negative self talk. There is some self help info online and some good books, but try a professional if you can. I saw one because I started having panic attacks, not for the cutting, but it totally helped in that area too! Also, excerise to reduce cortisol (stress hormone), so self care type things, and try meditating/mindfulness.

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    • Good luck, by the way. :)

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    • It's all a journey, right :). I tried to pretend I was "perfectly normal@ (straight A's, sports, school, clubs etc) for too long.

      Sometimes admitting you. Red help is the strongest thing you can do! :)

    • Admitting you need help. Autocorrect, sorry.

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