What is the point of living?

I have Bipolar 1 which I am in cbt for and take mood stabilizers for. I completed a 10 week college course but due to my barriers I am going to have a difficult time holding down a longterm job. I would never tell them I have bipolar. I don't have that hard of a time getting one because I am likable when I am manic however it is keeping longterm. I cannot function in my dsyfuctional environment. I lost all of my friends that I had a lot of them were not true ones.

It is like pulling teeth to make new ones because I have society anxiety and I am extremely isolated. But I am also an introverted loner. I am just very socially awkward and don't fit society's norms. Well I am 100% convinced nobody likes me so why try only to be rejected? And same with dating I don't even want to try because I cannot deal with rejection and I don't lovable or good enough for anybody.

I want feel like I have a purpose in life. I can live without having any friends or dating anyone. I already accepted that nobody likes me that is my reality. I am just sick of feeling like a failure. It is making me want to hurt myself. I am so behind in my life because of my living conditions and having no family support. Things are not happening quick enough. I have nothing to live for.

I am 25 years old and I am a complete loser. I am so ashamed to tell anybody anything about my actual living cconditions and age it is embarrassing if I go out and socialize. I am tired of pretending to be fine my eyes tell a different story as they are very expressive I cannot never lie about how I am feeling.

My eyes are the windows to your soul definitely in my case. I feel dead inside inside. I just want to know what it is like to be happy I am tired of being depressed. I have been depressed for 15 years which is almost all of my life because of my rough childhood. I just hate myself so much I don't know how to love myself. I am a good person who just has had a lot of misfortune. Why does bad things always happen to good people?


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What Girls Said 1

  • You have to look on the bright side of things and see your accomplishments rather than your failures and I don't mean huge accomplishments. They could be something small like finishing reading that book you've put off or something

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