Can you tell me a joke?

I've had a shitty day


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Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • This woman gave birth to twins and gave them both up for adoption. One was adopted by an Egyptian family who named him Amal, and he grew up very happily with them. The other was adopted by a Spanish family and named Juan, and he also grew up happily, but when he turned 18 he decided to try and find his birth mother, because he was curious about where he came from. He tracked her down and sent her a letter telling her about his life and enclosed a photograph so she could see how he'd turned out. When she received this letter she was so moved that she cried and told her husband she just had to find her other son to see how he was doing as well. To which her husband replied 'What are you talking about? They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal' xD

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What Guys Said 5

  • Your life (joking)

    To eggs in a pan.. 1 of them say
    'Its hot in here' and the other 1 says 'wait till you get out, you'll get your head smashed in

    Buy 2 hamsters, call one of the hamsters '1' and the other '2'... Lose 1 hamster and still have 2

    I'm terrible at jokes

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  • Isaac Newton, Blaise Pascal and Albert Einstein are playing hide and seek. Einstein starts counting, and whilst Pascal runs away, Newton draws a square on the ground in plain sight and stands on it.
    When Einstein opens his eyes, he sees Isaac Newton standing there on his square.
    "Found you!" says Einstein.
    Newton says: "Nope. Newton over metre squared. You've found Pascal!"

    Hope you liked it! :)

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  • here we start with an antijoke:

    what is green and has wheels...

    grass i lied about the wheels
    wanna see more? watch this :P
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4

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  • Watch a Jusreign video on YouTube.

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  • Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
    “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yes, I’m positive.”

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    • Or how about:

      A Mathematician, a Physicist, and an astronomer were travelling north by train. They had just crossed the border into Scotland, when the Astronomer looked out of the window and saw a single black sheep in the middle of a field. "All Scottish sheep are black," he remarked. "No, my friend," replied the Physicist, "Some Scottish sheep are black." At which point the Mathematician looked up from his paper and glanced out the window. After a few second's thought he said blandly: "In Scotland, there exists at least one field, in which there exists at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black."

What Girls Said 4

  • Old people at weddings always poke me at weddings and say, "You're next." So at funerals, I always poke them and say the same thing.

    At A Restaurant:
    Waiter: Would you like a table?
    Me: No, not at all. I came to eat on the damn floor.
    Carpet for 5, please.

    Algebra is like a relationship, you look at your EX (x) and wonder WHY (y)

    My life is a joke...

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  • I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

    I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

    Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

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  • Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a "six" offender. AHAHAHAHAHA

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