Is it okay to hit your child as a way of discipline?

I grew up being abused mentally and physically by my dad but he claimed that it was my fault that he hit me and that it was simply a means of dicipline. But what do you think? is it okay to hit your child when they do something wrong?

  • Yes absolutely
    5% (2)25% (8)14% (10)Vote
  • Yes, depending on the situation and what they did
    38% (15)34% (11)37% (26)Vote
  • No not really
    28% (11)22% (7)25% (18)Vote
  • Of course not, how is this even a question?
    29% (11)19% (6)24% (17)Vote
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Updates:
Some people have mentioned having psychological problems and i just would like to mention that I suffered from depression, social anxiety and insomnia for years both before and after leaving my fathers residence to live with my mother.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why not teach through the virtue of patience. It is scientifically proven that abuse of any kind even as a means of discipline affects their psychological state well into adulthood. Once you start hitting it just shows you've lost control of the situation, children need a strong, understanding guardian.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Punishment that includes hitting never works in the long run. Your child will only stop doing the behaviour in your presence but the problem behaviour will continue in your absence. Also, by hitting your child you can cause them to mistrust and lie to you because they will avoid tell you anything that will cause you to anger or dissapointment. This has really bad effects in the long run and damage your relationship with your kid forever. Not only that, but a lot of the time when you are hitting the child "out of discipline" you are often angry. It can cause the child to internalize the abuse and develop psychological problems in the future.

    I would avoid ever hitting a child unless the child is doing something that would cause harm to himself.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I was also abused mentally and physically and do not ever want to do that to another human being let alone a child.

    Not having kids I can't tell you there aren't situations where a child needs to be spanked or otherwise 'hit' in a fairly structured and rage free discipline session. (not what I went through)

    I think actually engaging with children and setting up expectations and consequences is a better way.

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  • Yes... with some structure. The main objection against corporal punishment, is the idea that "the parent is hitting the child because the parent is mad and is venting frustration out on the kid".

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    in my opinion, the promise of corporal punishment, should be used WAY more than corporal punishment should actually happen.

    The FEW times corporal punishment occurs, it should be for something severe or a constantly repeated offense (aka, defying their parents and "doing what they want"). Never for a minor or moderate infraction.

    Also when corporal punishment happens, the parents needs to make sure to reassure the child of why they were punished, how to prevent said offense from happening again, and most importantly, reassure the child with love afterwards and to mention that he/she does not enjoy doing corporal punishment but is doing it for the good of the child in the long run.

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    In short, if a parent is constantly having to spank or corporally punish their child, they are doing it wrong.

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  • i was spanked as child sometimes when i misbehaved. i don't think it had a mental effect on me... so i'm not 100% against spanking or physical discipline.

    that said i will not use physical discipline on my child. I do believe there are alternative better ways of discipline

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  • Never hit your child out of emotion. And always use logic when you hit them, if there is a sliver of your fault as to how they got that way, DO NOT HIT. However if you crossed out all options yes hit, that ensures they don't have mental repercussions later in life.

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  • Well this is going to just bring more man hate in the world because men (fathers/dads) are known as & are supposed to be the disciplinarians in a family & lots of dads hit their kids throughout history. So this is going to make men feel even worse about ourselves.

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    • which why I'll never consider my father the best parent ever nor even a role model... and never will.

      Honestly, I've lost a lot of respect for him over the years.

    • a parent who actually has patience, can control their anger/frustration and gets his/her points across without relying on hitting but actually educating and teaching someone how to make better decision and shows you why is the one that solves a medal

    • that deserves

  • No not cool at all... corporal punishment is a crime, there are other ways to discipline children then abusing them

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  • yeah, it's ok

    -1st time they do something wrong, you tell them not to do it
    -if it's a 2nd time, then they should be given a timeout
    -3rd time and/or they should know better about the situation... they're getting the belt

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  • i was smacked as a child and it never did me any harm and i never played up again. When i smacked, it was on the bum and wasn't very hard, just enough so that i knew what i did was wrong.

    this naughty step bullshit doesn't work. kids dont have enough discipline these days.

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  • I'm not comfortable with absolutes in this field. Generally speaking I think corporal punishment should be a very last resort. And ideally never used. And their are really too many dumb people out there, many of them parents, who are in the wrong and think they are disciplining when really what they are doing is oppressing.

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  • Yes but not hard. Just enough to get the message across.

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  • It depends on what the child is doing wrong. Is it dangerous? Are you simply not getting though to the child on something important? Was he/she exceptionally rude and should have known better? At the very least I would say the first merits corporal punishment, even if the others don't.

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  • Hitting a child is not discipline.

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  • Yeah just don't too far and let them know why they getting the belt.

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  • What do you mean by hit?

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    • its sort of like spanking your child, but its either over the top or hurting them

    • There's a very fine line between simple punishment and abuse.
      It's hard to walk it, so let's stick with a light slap to the wrist or butt in my opinion.

  • It's not how I do things and never saw a need for it.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Research has found that punishment is the least effective form of reinforcement and physical punishment such as spanking or hitting often leads to violent tendencies in the child along with unintended behaviors. So no, it's not okay to hit your child, nor is it efficient.

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  • No, but for me... it is really hard because I was raised by abusive parents. I tried reading how to listen so kids will talk, and how to talk so kids will listen. I am so emotional, psychological, spiritual and mentally broken down, but I refuse to be letting the cycle of abuse contunue. I will research and find alternative ways to help my kids become wonderful adults. With that being said, I just wanted to say for the record, I understand that my parents raised me the only way they thought was the best for me. I love them so much, and I forgive them.

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  • I was raised with an occasional swat on the behind. It however was never ever the first tool of punishment either of my parents used on me or my brothers, it was always the last resort to correct bad behavior. I remember only being spanked twice growing up, both times with a bare hand on my clothed bottom, the punishment worked. (I think my brothers were spanked maybe twice each growing up as well so spanking was a rare form of correction.)

    I don't harbor any bad feelings towards my parents, in fact it's the exact opposite because I know they corrected me because they love me. I believe that you train and correct a child because you love them and wish the best for them. If the spanking (one or two swats only) is the absolute last resort the parent uses after trying other means of punishment for the same repeated offense have been tried then it may be appropriate. The key (for me) being the same repeated offense.

    There is a huge difference between a stronger calm, adult spanking/swatting a child on the bottom with controlled and minimal force using their bare hand, than an pissed adult striking a child full force with an object. The first being correction, the second being that the adult is taking their anger out on the child which is by definition abuse.

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  • A spanking is discipline and i believe there are limits into a spanking. If a child is disobeying at a young age : In a grocery store when a child is disobeying by throwing tantrums the mother gives out one warning. Second round; the child continues the tantrum and is disciplined with a spanking. As that occurs the child simmers down and sits in the cart as demanded.

    I don't believe in hurting or brusing a child when spanking them.. But i do believe if they are not listening by the first warning then changes have to be made.

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  • My parents spanked me and while I turned out with a lot of problems, it was not due to them physically punishing me.

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  • No what the fuck, that is child abuse. The poll results are fucked.

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  • nah! That only make the kid more angry!

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  • There are other ways to educate a child that doesn't invole hitting. An important question that should be asked is how does getting hit solves the issue you're having with the child? What does hitting solves?

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  • Nope, not acceptable

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  • hitting is full on negative stigma, and using this negative thing to raise a child is very confusing to the child because parenting walks hand and hand with nurturing and the person who's being raised this way will grow up with blurred lines.

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  • yes u can but not to the extend where ethe child will fear u

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  • Yes, depending on the situation and what they did

    Boo hoo, you got spanked for doing something wrong? go cry in a corner, if you did something wrong then that was the consequences of your actions

    if it was for no rhyme or reason then i'd be worried

    honestly speaking i got spanked because i was the terrible little she devil, i did things that i wasn't proud of (ie threw a hockey stick through the plated glass window) but there was a time where my brother had a pool party and his friend was causing nonsense and then i got whacked across the back with a wet Sjambok (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sjambok ) / whip that stayed there for 3 weeks

    Yeah if there is a situation where you deserve it take it, if not then it's not right at all

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    • why would any one ever deserve to be hit?

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    • The way I reason... if I were to say ''you're stupid'' and be very rude to a boss or someone else, that still wouldn't give anyone the rights to slap/hit me.

      That way, I think it makes no difference when a parent hits you. They aren't beyond anyone else just because they're your parents. Leaving bruising on your back with a wet Sjambok for 3 weeks is abuse.

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