Why do guys like girls who are hard to get?

Why do guys like girls that are hard to get?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Different guys have different reasons, but one thing that will be consistent is that guys who tend to like "hard to get" girls tend to have at least SOME confidence.

    Some guys, most often really attractive guys who get girls easily, simply like a challenge - it isn't interesting for them if the girl is way too easy to get; that just makes her like most girls.

    For other guys, it's because he knows that she's legitimately hard to get (rather than just playing games), because she's attractive enough to be in high demand - lots of other guys find her attractive and he has to stand out from that crowd in order to get her. Thus, she kind of becomes a prize to earn/win, and something of a trophy once won.

    And for still other guys, if a girl is hard to get, it indicates that she doesn't take sex (or relationships) lightly, and thus he can be more confident in her feelings and in her sexual loyalty.

    The guys who like "easy" girls are either "players"/"collectors" who want to sleep with every possible girl who is at least remotely attractive, OR are guys who are either desperate for sex (because they have no confidence or "game") or who know they have little attractiveness or social value to most women and are content to settle for whatever they can get.

    Now, keep in mind that these are generalizations, and there are always exceptions to generalizations - but that the generalizations are still true the majority of the time.

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    • If I like a girl who happens to be easy or hard to get, that's not why I like her. Why would you go after a girl or fall for a girl just because of that? It's ridiculous!

Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 29

  • That's not actually what's happening.

    Girls that are highly sought after are generally younger, better looking, and have very high bargaining power. Considering that's the basic criteria most men seem to settle more, it creates this idea that men like women that "play hard to get".

    The fact is, she is literally hard to get because she has so many suitors. It has nothing to do with games. Now, there's another issue with guys that seems to feed into this idea of game playing. Guys want sex way more than they want an actual relationship, therefore being "too easy" (satiating their desire for conquest at low cost) increases your chances of being "played", because all he cared about was sex in the first place.

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  • We don't like girls cause they're hard to get, we like them cause we like them.

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  • Well not all men like women who play hard to get. I am sure most men just dislike women who play hard to get, they find that unattractive.

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  • We don't, not if we're looking for a relationship.
    If I just want sex from that girl, I wouldn't mind, I see it as a challenge, after all, I can be with other girls while getting that one, so I wouldn't be wasting my time.
    If I want a relationship I certainly don't want a hard to get girl.

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  • I don't think that men like women who are hard to get which i am sure it is probably the case with women chasing men. We all like a bit of a challenge but we all don't want an impossible challenge either. I think the whole playing hard to get is just the term used for a guy trying to work out who the girl really is, ie what are her interests are, what does she like and whether she likes him. Usually, a girl won't be open with a guy untill she feels comfortable to be open with him so untill then, it can seem like the she is playing hard to get to the guy when really she is just being cautious and trying to figure out if she is ready to be open with him. Henze it does get very easy once she is comfortable and ready to be open.

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  • A guy's attraction towards a girl is not directly caused by her unavailability. If that were the case, the human race would be extinct.

    We like pretty girls. Most pretty girls know they are pretty, and know they are sought after and valuable to men, so they make themselves unavailable because they always think they can get someone better.

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    • In other words, guys only like them because of how they look, those girls just so happen to be entitled bitches.

  • Personally i only like it when the girl knows how to do it, but women more often that not come off as waaaaayyy too difficult and leaves guys wondering what else should they do or where to go, which then we probably will assume that she doesn't like us.

    However a girl that knows how to do it very well, its awesome because it makes us look like she is not easy, she has respect for her, will no fall for the first guy that hits on her. Plus if done correctly, can seem fun when she is playful about it if we think that we have a chance with her.

    Think about it when a cat chases a piece of string, cats looove to do that provided that they think that they can catch the string, if you pull the string too far or you put it somewhere he can only see, he will get bored and not chase the string anymore.

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  • most dudes don't like it, but we don't really have options. if we like a girl, we like a girl and if she shows some interest back, it's the chance in hoping that she likes you back. the 80/20 rule works in this case. it's not like most dudes can just say "i'll wait till another girl shows direct interest" because it may or may not happen to the extent it happens for girls.

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  • I don't. If she's playing stupid games before we're even in a relationship, I dread to think of the BS she'd do as a girlfriend.

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  • They don't. It's just that girls who are more desirable (i. e. girls that guys like, whether due to physical attractiveness or other qualities) can AFFORD to play hard to get. If a girl who isn't attractive to men due to physical appearance or personality plays hard to get, no one notices.

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  • Define hard to get. If she's selective then that's one thing. But if she's playing mind games then I have no patience for that shit.

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  • Well its more intriguing when she can play a little. Not to the point that she's mean just playful hard to get. Keeps things a little heated up and commands passion.

    But simple and easy to get because we both like each other is good too

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  • They want what they can't have. Purposes a fun challenge.

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  • Emm... We don't...

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  • Define hard to get.

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    • Not an easy bimbo. A girl who shows maturity and doesn't trust easily due to players trying to get past her emotional walls, and she's wary of you. Not being difficult, but certainly not fawning over you and legitimately wants a serious relationship and won't fall for flattering words, compliments and seduction easily.

  • i dont like that so much its annoying for me if she likes me and i like her we should date no hard to get bullshit

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  • We certainly don't like girls who are too easy, but it doesn't mean we going through the trouble of getting a girl [on hard mode], moderation is the key.

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  • We dont, thats just something women cooked up as an excuse to test guys.

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  • I don't waste my time like that I never have.

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  • man that pisses me off, if I see she's like that or there's no chemistry I'm done haha

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  • What are you talking about? There's almost every situations I've been in where girls who are my "type" and even not my "Type" i asked out and they give the they shit don't stink type of attitude

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  • A challenge isn't such a bad thing.

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  • I think because they are desperate.

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  • because it's worth it

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  • The chase is half the fun...

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  • I don't I avoid them like the plague! Most of them are younger, immature girls.

    I think with some guys, it's wanting what they can't have though and many women are exactly the same. Don't want you at all until they can't have you any more. I think it's human nature to a degree but it makes me quite sad.

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  • it's not fun when it's too easy. it's just the way some guys are.
    i choose SUPER HARD difficulty when playing games because, easy is too easy
    i choose to drive manual instead of automatic because, auto is too easy, not that manual is hard
    i choose to do drugs because if i didn't, it'd be way too easy for me to get a job. it's more challenging when having to use the wizzinator to pass the tests
    i choose to go after girls that want me to chase them because it's not fun when it's too easy. i have to show her that im trying too.

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  • I guess the challenge and victory if they succeed , I personally won't pursue them very long if it's hopeless

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  • I never bothered with them. In fact after the age of 20 I never pursued a girl at all. Just chose from the ones interested in me.

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What Girls Said 5

  • bcc its the only way he can feel like he has some power. she pretends to be hard to get, he has to try to catch her or wear her down then when he succeeds he can feel like he won a prize.

    of course he's not interested in her just the winning. guys who like games will get bored and move on quickly. they doing have enough confidence to be in a real relationship they just like imagining themselves winning one. its really pathetic.

    if you like someone you'd want to get to know them not play games.

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    • if a guy needs you to act like you dont like him in order to find you unique he's not interested in you as a person you're a unique person bc of who you are not bc you excite his ego and satisfy his illusions.

    • Also define hard to get. like what time frame do you consider hard to get and is this time frame until you get a date have sex get exclusive?

  • I think it's less about the woman being hard to get and more about her not being accessible and available 24/7 because that becomes boring and predictable.

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  • They like them cus they see it as a challenge!

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  • no one likes someone who is easy to get

    you want to chase it and earn it

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  • They want what they can't have

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