Husband keeps asking if I have been to the gym aka you're fat?

I put on weight... 30 pounds to be exact. It's a decent amount of muscle and fat from training and being fed 3x as many calories than my usual diet. I'm 5'4", before I gained the weight I weighed 115 pounds.

My husband always ask if I have been to the gym every time he talks to me. It's just awkward now... I don't go, I hate working out. I'm pretty damn fit even after everything, I just hate working out. I'm pretty sure he thinks I am fat, even though he said he loves my hips and butt. If I work out, I'll lose that and my boobs. Should I just go a head and get skinny again?

P. s. he told my mom I lost weight, what gives? Why did he lie?

Updates:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a few options. Let's assume the good ones first: maybe he's asking purely because he's worried about your health.
    Or, have you mentioned the gym and working out to him in the past? Maybe he thinks it's important to you, and he thinks he's just making conversation. My girlfriend and I do this. She's a little overweight, but always seems to talk about losing weight or going to the gym in our conversations somewhere. I feel I would have every right to ask her about her working out habits if she brings it up more often than me.
    Maybe he really DOES like your hips and butt. Maybe so much that he wants them to keep growing bigger! Some guys like that but aren't willing to admit.

    So much scrutiny, but not advice... so here you go: you really need to be very honest together. Ask him what he truly thinks of your body. Tell him what his questions and comments are doing to you. If he gets defensive, suggest ways that he can support you in your health goals instead of asking you about the gym all the time. eg. why don't you work out together. If you hate working out it might motivate you, and it makes him do something to contribute. Might get you closer together on this issue too. See if you can't sort this out like adults.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This reminds me of this haha! xD
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B0YgbnBCcAEmB48.jpg

    I don't think you should overthink it. If you think you are fit, and he didn't tell you that you "need" to go to the gym, it doesn't mean you are fat. Going to the gym is good for training your stamina and for a better health though.

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    • He has just called me fat in the past and later took it back, so I can't help feeling like he means something else.

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    • I'm the same as I was then.

    • Hmm, you are just at the edge of the normal weight (18.5–24.9).
      Your BMI = 24.9, so maybe you just need to lose a little bit.

What Guys Said 6

  • Why did you put on 30 lbs of weight? However, you should ask him if he thinks you're fat because his constant question of you going to the gym is bothering you?

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  • Am I missing something? He didn't call you fat, you're the one insinuating that.

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    • He called me fat a few months ago and then took it back saying he just wasn't use to the weight gain.

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    • So what do you want to do at this point? Are you going to divorce him over this?

    • Omg, I may as well dump his fat-shaming ass! He has the nerve to ask me questions about the gym and he's called me fat. He probably talks to his buddies about my bubble bootie... In case you haven't noticed... Marriage doesn't work like that. I would not divorce my husband my weight.

  • 115? Thats skinny.. Muscle weighs more than fat, so would need to see pics... Id say he think youve lost weight (meaning size not weight).. Are u 145 now? doesn't sound that bad.. ur butt probly grew. (muscle)

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    • I don't know, he called me fat a few months ago, even though he took it back it still seems that he feels that way.

    • I feel like it's a catch 22 with him

  • I need to also I am fat now

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    • It's okay man :/

    • No its not I am getting a little fat now and It stops right now i will lose it starting today

  • He could just be genuinely interested in your health. My mom and Dad tell me to go to the gym all the time.

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  • Why not try talking to him honestly and openly instead of just jumping to conclusions?

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, it is understandable if he's concerned and if he doesn't like the weight gain. But he should be more tactful. Suddenly gaining 30 lbs isn't a good thing. 115 is pretty light so a bit of gain wouldn't be a bad thing at all but 145 might not be ideal either for your body... but it depends on how you look. We don't know your body type.

    Try asking him why he is asking so much about the gym..

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  • So je tells your mom you lost weight and you think he thinks you're fat? I'm missing something here.

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    • He lied to her. He mentioned my weight last week and a few months ago he calledme fat then took it back saying he just wasn't use to the weight gain.

    • Ah you didn't mention that. He seems pretty obsessed with weight for a guy. Tell him it bothers you and to zip it.

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