Would you raise your child gender neutral?

I read an article about parents raising their 'son' gender neutral. He is 5 years old but they haven't told him what gender he is because they want him to decide on his own. They make him dress in boys clothes (pants, shirts ect) as will as girls clothes (pink dress, fairy outfits). He is given barbies , doll houses as well as cars and trucks. I think this kids is going to be messed up and confused as 'he' gets older, what do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's so stupid. Instead of trying to eliminate gender and pretend as if guys and girls are the SAME, people need to be teaching their children to recognize that the two genders' differences are OKAY.

    Girls and boys ARE inherently different in COUNTLESS ways, and while yes most people do not fit PERFECTLY into their gender's norms, most people do fit GENERALLY into their gender's norms. Media today would have you believing that nearly everyone is trapped in the wrong sex's body. Erm, no. The GREAT majority of people born are cisgender, there's no need for this "gender neutrality" poop. Men and women do tend to communicate differently and have different interests---children need to be taught to understand that and get along with the other gender instead of criticizing the other gender.

    I say a child should choose what toys they want to play with anyway. There's no need to force any toy on your child, he or she is perfectly capable of saying which one they want when they see one on TV or at the store. If he wants a barbie so be it---but you certainly shouldn't be FORCING barbies on him in some sort of "neutrality" agenda. And just because he plays with a barbie certainly doesn't mean he's any less of a boy.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've heard of a situation almost identical to what you described and I was told that the children (male and female) eventually started doing gender typical activities. I don't think this messes kids up unless they feel pressure from the parents or are forced to do one or the other.
    Personally I'd aim to raising my children to deal with the world and people as best as possible regardless of gender. As long as they can take care of themselves and better yet take care of other people/be a positive influence around them then I don't mind if they are male or female.

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What Girls Said 23

  • Absolutely not. I would raise them as the gender they are. But I would encourage them to be themself. If that means they're homosexual or want a sex change then so be it. And I'll suppprt them. But I won't buy into the nonsense of gender neutrality. I won't enforce strict gender norms like boys can't have dolls or girls can't have trucks, but I won't add to the potential ways other children can mock my child.

    If I have a son and he wants a doll house then I'll buy him a doll house. If he wants a football I'll buy him a football. If he wants both then I'll buy him both.

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  • I wouldn't raise my child gender neutral.
    I see no harm in identifying with a set gender, tbqh. Labels and belonging to certain groups, be they gender, orientation, race, etc., shape us as individuals. Which doesn't have to be a bad thing, of course.

    In the end, it's our culture, religion, gender we identify with, etc., who do end up defining you as a person. I can't imagine shaping my personality with zero guidelines. No cultural traditions, being able to identify with friends of my own gender who do think more along my lines a lot of the time than males, etc..

    I'll raise my kid as the gender aligned with their biological sex. Of course it it's a girl who's a bit tomboyish or a boy who doesn't want to play with toy cards, I won't force them to conform. But humans are social creatures and even from an evolutionary perspective, we realize that standing out from the norm in that way will only work against us.

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  • Eh, nope. I wouldn't do that on purpose. But if my child wanted to have things that stereotypically are associated with the opposite sex, I wouldn't forbid him/her from having them.

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    • I wore boys and girls clothes growing up same with toys. I turned out fine. More people should have a attitude like you. @MissNowhere 😄

    • @MusicManic Haha, that's cool 👌 Thanks!

  • No. If he has boy parts he'll be raised as a boy. If she has girl parts, she'll be raised as a girl. That doesn't mean I'm going to limit them to what they can do. Not gonna tell him or her not to play house or climb trees cuz it's "too girly or unladylike". Obviously, I was raised during a time where this wasn't really a concern and I played house, camped in the creek behind my house with neighborhood kids, ran with wolves, played with dolls, and I grew up fine. My child/ren will all be allowed the same opportunities and when they're old enough to understand wtf is going on then they can be whatever the fuck they want as long as they do right by themselves and are good people.

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  • I dont agree with some of that solely because if they are born a cis boy, then he can be a "boy" but can still play with "girl" things.. I see nothing wrong with that. HE will be really confused because these are things children need to know to actually realize how they feel.

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  • no i wouldn't do that. if he has a penis, he's a boy. if she has a vagina, she's a girl.
    im not the type to complicate this kind of stuff.

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  • Eh. I feel that they're forcing that onto the child. Are you talking about "Storm"? I heard about that story.

    Personally, I would just let him/her decide. So if he/she wants dresses and she's a girl, I wouldn't stop her in the sake of gender neutrality. If my son chose to play with barbies, I'd get him them.

    I think I'd generally use their gender to "guide" me, but I wouldn't use that to force my kid to conform if they don't want to. Am I making sense? Lol

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    • I just think people have gone crazy about gender lately. A girl can be raised 'girly' and still like sports or even go into STEM, its not about how you dress or your the toys you play with but your development as a person. I hope I'm wrong but this kid is going to be messed up.

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    • @Melirain be honest do girls put more pressure on other girls when it comes to beauty standards? And why do men get the blame, Brazilian wax was started by women not men.

    • Mm, I'm not sure which gender puts more pressure on girls. Both guys and girls do it. But I think girls' environments and their own minds are the things putting the most pressure on them, honestly.
      No one knows (or cares about) a person's flaws more than that person themselves. From a girl's perspective, this is life: everything in the media is airbrushed to perfection, all her friends only put up their very best photos on facebook, and she never gets to see her friends when they're sitting like slobs in sweatpants or having terrible hair. But she gets to see all of her own bad photos, and all of her own days she spends in sweatpants, all of her own acne breakouts looking back at her in the mirror, and this makes her think she's worse or uglier than other girls. But the truth is that she's comparing herself to a false standard--trying to compare her average or worst day to everyone else's best days. The problem isn't what guys/girls say to her, it's what she sees and says to herself.

  • Ehh, not really. I mean, if I had a son and he wanted to wear dresses, then sure, no problem, he can if he wants, and the same for girls, along with playing with 'other gender toys' and stuff like that. But I'm not going to force it on them.

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  • I would never do that. Contrary to what some sides want to push... the simple truth is... there ARE genders. Male or female. Very simple. You're child can't "decide" what gender they want to be so their entire idea is pointless. The child is either a male or female. Now that male or female can grow up and choose to pretend to be whatever it wants, but that doesn't change what it is. The world is getting ridiculous. There are men and women still. It's the simple truth.

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    • I read where one mother wouldn't teach her kid pro nouns so everyone is identified as 'that person' How crazy!

    • Very crazy! The world is getting so ridiculous. I have a daughter and a son and they know what gender they are. Now with that being said my daughter hunts, goes fishing, and kayaks and my son will push a stroller with a doll in it, and thats fine! But they know what gender they are.

  • I think I would try to raise any kid I have to be comfortable in their own and accept themselves for who they are. I wouldn't torment them with extreme social experiments.

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  • I`m sceptic about this gender neutrality concept there hasn`t been any long term studies into its effects so i would not raise my child that way. I`m not letting others dictate how to raise my kids or be part of some large scale social experiment.

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  • I like the option of allowing children to play with whatever they want... although I can't help but notice that girls who are dressed in boys' overalls tend to turn less heads than boys dressed in a skirt.

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  • Absolutely not, if my kids a boy they're a boy, if they're a girl they're a girl

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  • Nawh if my kid has a dick then he's a guy. If he wants to dress as a girl that's great! But let's me real now. People are taking this shit way too far

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    • Their are a growing number of parents raising their kids like this however from the stories I read the kid is always male.

  • I would tell them their sex, but i'll let them choose whatever they want to wear, do, and be called. As long as it's nothing too crazy like a leotard in the street or shirtless, pantless, etc.

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  • I think giving someone no choice is also ultimately a choice.

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  • No I most likely won't

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  • Absolutely not

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  • Hmmmm, I don't know.

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  • Oh hell nawl. Little Nigga you are a Boy. No dolls. Here take the Hot Wheelz toys.

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  • dumbest thing ever...
    i agree with you he will surely have issues

    i personally wasn't raised gender netral but when it came to toys and stuff, i had cars and everything along with barbies
    and not everything i wore was pink but a lot was
    same goes for my brother

    i think its fine to be neutral to some extent... but thats just stupid and its gonna make the coming generations more messed up than ever... i hope it doesn't catch on

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  • I'm not sure it'll confuse him, just because he isn't handed gender-based norms to follow. I think he'll just do what comes naturally, and identify however he naturally would've anyway.

    But I wouldn't raise my child that way. I'd get them the toys/clothes they wanted, regardless of what gender the toys/clothes were aimed for, but I'm not going to force a boy to play with a barbie if he doesn't want to do it. My child would be "allowed" to be whatever gender they felt like, but from the start I'd treat them as their biological gender and we'll go from there.

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  • I wouldn't make them be gender neutral, but I wouldn't force a child to specifically play with things that were acceptable to their set gender either. I would want them to be free to explore and become who they're going to become.

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What Guys Said 15

  • No, I'd rise a boy as a boy and a girl as a girl. What I wouldn't do is telling a girl that she can't practice martial arts only because she's a girl, for example. Both genders can do everything and I wouldn't limit my child because of this stupid gender thing that we all know that isn't true.

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    • You can say it's not true, but you look like a pretty buff guy yourself. Looking really manly. I wonder how many women would date you if you were wearing a tutu and frilly laces?

      The point is to set your child up for SUCCESS in the world we live in. A girl can easily practice martial arts or something and not be judged as much as a straight boy doing ballet. That's just how it is. We have to deal with the world as it is now, not just dream about how it should be, and our children need to be set up for success today, not in some hopeful future

    • @M_A_X But what I mean is deeper than that. She can still act female and practice martial arts and play soccer (which in my country is considered a man thing). I know we're judged for what we do, but I've met many women who did those things and weren't lesbians and not even considered so. I know society will judge, but I don't think it's enough reason for us to stop doing things we like.

      And I agree that it's more difficult for men to do some things that are considered girly, principally because more men are not really interested in such things.

  • That poor boy is going to be seriously messed up indeed. Some gender roles are indeed supposed to die but one should never take it too far like they do.

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  • I kind of like the idea. They are not pushing social norms on the kid. I would be interested to see what happens in the future.

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    • 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

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    • Yeah, he probably will be bullied like most other kids in school.

    • I don't think it's cool to use your kid as a science experiment. I don't think it's cool to just "try and see" and take wild guesses when it comes to a child

  • That means I'd have to oay twice as much for clothes and toys.

    Fuck, if I'm forced to raise my kids gender neutral I'll just buy them blocks and a completely grey wardrobe.

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  • You should treat your kids for who they are for real. If it is a boy then treat him like a boy, make him a gentleman! If it is a girl make her a lady! Now, if you do that and they don'tfeel comfortable with it when they are old enough to think for themselves then they can choose how they want to dress like or be like.

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  • I think these parents are retarded and/or are infected with liberalism/feminism and shouldn't have children to begin with.

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  • What is your opinion on FDR
    cdn.crimeagainstnature.org/.../...-Roosevelt-2.jpg

    That is FDR as a child.
    Gender neutral is a very old idea.
    Also Blue and pink were swapped as the boy color and girl color at one point because pink looked more like blood

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  • I would never do that. I think it would just confuse the kid. I would raise my child as a boy if they're a male and a girl if they're female. If they decide to switch genders when they're older then that's their choice and I'll support them but I think it's idiotic to raise a child gender neutral just in case one day they decide they were meant to be another gender

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  • He is going to be screwed up and confused because he's different now... because they made him be different, not because he feels that way

    It's really messed up

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  • No.

    My son is a boy and will more than likely do boy things. These people can do their little progressive bullshit all they like, but I bet you my son would bully that kid.

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  • If it's a girl, she's a girl. If it's a boy, he's a boy.

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  • I wouldn't... but I wouldn't be against him/her deciding later on.

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  • No I would not. And those parents, if they can even be called parents, should be put in jail.

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  • thats stupid omg people are stupid

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  • in my honest opinoin, PC nonsense.

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