Do you think it's advisable to have kids before you're married?

I've noticed that a lot of couples are choosing to have kids before they get married. What's your opinion on this? Do you think waiting until marriage gives the kids a better chance for a stable home life, or does it even matter since 50% of couples end up divorced anyways?

  • People should wait until they're married so that there's a better chance they'll stay together.
    48% (11)49% (17)48% (28)Vote
  • As long as they are committed to each other, I don't think it makes much of a difference.
    48% (11)37% (13)41% (24)Vote
  • Other (please explain)
    4% (1)14% (5)11% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As a rule of thumb, I think they should be married since usually life will be more stable and committed for the child. However, by that same token, marriage isn't just a magical solution that you can rush into and expect everything to work out. There is such a thing as divorce. Marriage derives it benefit from the fact that the people were already more serious with each other and ready to take it to the next step. So in other words, whatever you do, it should not be entered lightly.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The most important is to have a stable home. A marriage doesn't make much difference. Divorce is too easy for it to matters. What matters is to be committed to each other.
    My cousin is not marries, her children are teenagers and she's happy with her husband.
    A friend of my mine was married 19, had his kid at 20 and was divorced at 21.

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What Guys Said 13

  • I think "choose" is quite a strong word to begin with. I think most children aren't really planned. It just happens and parents embrace it. As for marriage, I don't think people should wait for it if they don't want to get married.
    Some do marry just for the legal rights, and it changes nothing about the way they feel, others marry because there's a child on the way.

    If they have financial stability, a home and they both feel that a kid is the next logical step to take, they should do it regardless of being married or not.

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  • There are couples that never get married and stay together till they die, while others marry and get divorced in 2-3 years.

    As long as the couple is committed to each other, and are stable, it doesn't matter if they're married or not in order to have kids.

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  • I see marriage as a good course to run before moving on to having kids.

    If ya can't live together for a few years without becoming chronically unhappy, then ya sure don't need to bring a kid into the equation.

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  • They really shouldn't have kids until they are financially stable.

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  • My baby wasn't planned, but I am not married. The idea of marriage as a huge commitment is good for having a kid, but you don't need marriage to commit. I'm glad I did not marry because My SO and I fight often, I don't want to raise my baby in that environment as she gets older.

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    • Aw, your baby's precious.

    • Show All
    • @ Asker. Yes, that is exactly what I meant.

    • Ah, ok, I got you.

      I'm as selfish as they come, but, yeah, it's a whole different equation when kids are involved. A whole different equation. You have the right attitude, there.

  • people should wait till they are married and together for at least I don't know 7 years of so. if you can't make it seven years then you shouldn't be having kids together.

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    • i think people having kids before they are married is going to have huge repercussions for society. its a sign of a dying civilization.

  • I think it's a good idea to have children outside of marriage because marriage is a completely one-sided arrangement that benefits only the woman, gives her undue power over the man, and generally ruins families.

    The only way a family can stay together is if the parents are on equal footing. That can't happen if they're married, because then the wife owns the husband.

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    • I think that has less to do with marriage and more to do with individual relationship dynamics. If a woman is going to be domineering, she's going to do it whether she's married or in a long term relationship.

    • I think it has to do with the evil options the state gives the woman to destroy the man with a phone call.

  • Nowadays I don't know. People divorce left and right. Mom watches TV upstairs Dad downstairs. Parents don't get along or don't even spend time together. Tbh I want kids later in life when I am married or plan to be married. Rather enjoy life first.

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  • Honestly I will only have kids after I am married it's just better that way.

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  • I wouldn't have kids until I'm married because I think you should be fully committed to someone before having kids with them

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  • No, I do not. But people have done it anyways. That doesn't mean I will do that.

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  • I don't think it's advisable to have kids, period.

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  • I picked other, because I don't really like legal marriage but I'm up for a "spiritual marriage". Meaning there is so much liability with marriage and divorce and all that I'd rather me and a woman just say we are married on a spiritual level than to get actual documents on it. That said I want to have kids one day.

    So I don't know if that answered your question or not lol.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I don't believe in having kids out of wedlock I know too many people who are staying together even though they hate each other for the kids

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  • Nope. Have kids after marriage.

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  • Well I think u should wait until marriage buy my sister is having a baby and she's not married

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  • Well it would be the ideal thing to do to marry first then have children but life does not always work out that way so in that case you make the best of the situation and as long as two people are committed to each other i don't see a real problem there either be the best parent you can be.

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  • I think as long as you're committed but don't want go deal with marriage it's ok.
    But from a kids perspective, it may not be positive. Wondering why their parents aren't married, last names, etc

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