I know there are people in the world who have it worse than me. Because of that, I try my best hide my feelings because pretty much my feelings are as unimportant as an introvert at a frat party. However, sometimes I get these thoughts of suicide. I haven't thought of suicide since I was 18 and I'm 23 now. I dont self-harm anymore. These thoughts keep running through my head like just ending this emotional pain and paranoia. I sometimes wish that I was like Dexter Morgan in the sense of him not having emotions (not the serial killer sense). I feel like I'm worthless in general when it comes to certain things and my girlfriend, she doesn't make me feel worthless, but my constant paranoia that she's going to leave me without reason like my past 4 relationships makes me feel like "Do I really matter to this world? There's tons of people in this world. Would it matter if I just died right now? Do I have an impact on anyone?". As I said, I don't have intentions but, just thoughts of suicide at times. This sometimes makes me feel physically sick, this depression I mean.
Most Helpful Girl
Listen I know it's hypocritcal of me to even answer this question because I have had these thoughts myself. I've had some things happen in my family in the past that I don't want to share but it has effected the way I feel about myself and I don't know when it started but I started hating everything about myself and I stopped eating. I ate enough only to where my parents wouldn't notice. After that I thought about cutting myself and I almost did. But listen everyone has something bad in their life some bigger than others. But then I met this guy a while ago and he has made me feel more than I have felt in my whole life. He's that something worth living for. So I'm not saying find a girl I'm saying find something that makes you want to wake up every morning. Set goals and ask yourself what do you want to do. And just do it. And every time something bad happens remind yourself that there is nothing worse than feeling the way you do right now and that things can only look up. Don't hurt yourself because you might not think you matter but you do and I truly mean that with all my heart.0
Most Helpful Guy
Thanks for sharing this. It's a breath of fresh air to know I'm not alone with these things. In our darkest moments, we are judging ourselves from the way others have treated us. It's a real pain in the ass to go through, to say the least.
It does matter if you live, and I wish you good fortune.0