Are there any poets on this website?

Basically, what I need is feedback for this poem; this is for a culminating project that is due next week. I have extensively revised it. This is the fifth draft, and it still needs editing.

Winds gust over the mountains of mist—down it sweeps,
Legends become tales, tales to myths, and myths to lies,
Once a legend, now a man who has gone mad; once, he was asleep,
Till the wheeze of winter wanes; time comes of the Dragon's rise,

Wind rises again—fiery gale charring glades to cinders,
The curse shatters, and he tramples across the plains,
Once a beast, once his soul seared colder than the depths of winter,
Till the sky becomes a furnace, the Dragon becomes sane,

Now, his heart is stone, like a dragon’s. . .

Lands heave; lightning sprawls; glazed fire slathers
Chilled blades by myriad could not strike its flesh,
Soldiers by the millions stand on the precipice of defeat,
Chasms of the earth flare, lands crumble to friezes and mesh,

Like a twig being hefted on the crest of a wave, he soars in the skies,
The sky rumbles, quavers like a willow; none was clean,
The world shall shatter and twist, ­shatter and twist, until it cries,
Hoisting his head, he leered at the cold ashes that had become sheen,

Now, his heart is stone, like a dragon’s. . .

Like clinging to a raft of wood, he clung onto a shard of pride,
His heart burns as though it was kindled with a galaxy of pain,
Till the last tendrils of twilight flicker, for an age the Dragon shall abide,
And in his eyes. . . was a glitter of disdain,

And so the myths once again become a living legend,

The Dragon has moved on, once, he was in a prison of pain.


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What Guys Said 2

  • This looks like it was written by a twelve-year old on Tumblr as he/she/it (we non-binary nao) weeped on its keyboard and sipped an overpriced macchiato.

    Maybe try to put some meaning behind it instead of writing a power metal song.

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  • @justbanannaz has a couple really good poetic mytakes!

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