Im really worried, my baby sister is planning to visit a 25 year old in america?

im really worried about my baby sister. She is 17, going on 18 very soon, and i just learned that she has been talking to a 25 year old dude from American and she is planning to visit him.

My mother said she can't do much because when she is 18 she can basically do what she wants. And the though stressed me out. She is normally a very intelligent and mature for her age and she gets A's and B's in school, so it feel even worse considering those factors. I just didn't expect it

I dont know what to do.. i mean its such a irrational and unsmart thing to do.. he is frikin 25 and they live on completely different contients, he could be a murder for all we know.. and that she is even thinking about going makes me scrared to be completely honest

I dont know what to do? any advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Mmmmh but maybe you're also overreacting? Sure... theoretically it could be murderer but then again, it could also be the big love of her life. Why only look at the glass half empty? Statistically, chances are certainly higher that he is a nice guy rather than a murderer. And the age gap doesn't mean much I think. My little sister also had a boyfriend who was 6 years older when she was 18. And whether he lives in America or in China or in your own neighborhood really doesn't matter. Even if he was from your city, he could still be a murderer (or a very nice guy). The distance doesn't change that. I'm together with a girl from a different continent and I'm definitely no murderer ;-).
    I think the best thing to do in this situation would be to trust your sister's judgement and let her go but make sure she'll be safe by telling her about the dangers and reminding her to be careful.

    • ofc... but im not willing to take that chance.. they have never met before.. and maybe i am overreacting and making a big deal about it, but the fact is that im super stressed about it

    • Yes but then maybe you should just deal with this feeling of stress on your own, rather than put it on your sister. If you say that she's generally a smart and mature person than I don't see a reason to worry. She's probably been talking to that guy for some time and knows sort of what he's like.

Most Helpful Girl

  • WHY isn't HE coming to HER? Trust me, my daughter at 18 pulled this nonsense wanting to see some guy her age in Canada - it turned out fine but I understand exactly how you feel. It is her choice and she won't listen... but I think she should respect herself enough to ask the guy to come see her the first round, seriously.

    • i know! but she is such a stubborn person.. i know i can't stop her and it makes me feel sick to my stomach

    • Been there done that, crying and begging her on the cell phone to the last minute not to go/get on the plane. She's LUCKY it all turned out well.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Love makes us do stupid things.

    Best you can do is say "Honey, I love you and I don't think this is a good idea because X, Y and Z." But she has to decide herself.

    • i know.. its her live and her choice, but she is seriously planning to visit a 25 year old.. it will take her more than 12 to even get there.. if someting happens there is no chance of us helping her

    • You said she is very intelligent and mature. Sometimes you just have to trust them. I'm a parent, I get it, believe me.

    • its not that i dont trust her... its thats creepy 25 year old im worried about

  • There's not much you can do except hope that she will be okay.

    • i have to say something.. im so worried and almost makes me cry. she will be 18 in less than a month

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    • well i have few ideas...

    • sex is the obvious answer.. but its creep he is willing to go that far for it

  • Just tell her to be smart

    • that won't help.. she is very stubborn.. i just hopes she lisens to me

    • Just tell her to meet him in a public space with people. Maybe you should talk to this guy?

  • Will she let you talk to him on skype? Why can't he come over to her and then you meet him too?

    • If it makes you feel any better, it's definitely a safe country here with good law enforcement , it's highly unlikely he wants her to come all the way there to harm her, just make sure she leaves you all his info before leaving

What Girls Said 1

  • Can you talk to her parents?

    • i talk to my mother, but she said when she is 18 she can do what she wants

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    • my mother is her mother

    • Oooh, yeah. That's bad. Do you know what state and/or his name? I have an uncle who is a police officer and might be able to help.