Do you think that I am correct on this?

I truly believe you cannot really be jealous or envious of someone that you completely respect.

I think a large part of both jealousy and envy is because you’ve seen some kind of weakness in that person, associated with whatever you may be jealous or envious of.

For example, if I met an astronaut tomorrow, there would be no basis of envy or jealousy. Because I am so in awe of that person being perfect, that I wouldn’t even think it logical at all for me to be jealous or envious of someone. I’m almost operating under the assumption that person is so smart/great, that I would want them to like me and respect them.

Now if I met someone else who was an engineer, but not a very good one who used to smirk and talk shit about people, the chances of both the jealousy and envy is higher, because while I somewhat look down on that person, I am also aware that she may have pursued slightly better educational qualifications than me, that makes it hard for me to stand up to her.

People who have been jealous or envious of me, I don’t think it started out that way. It was more them being so in awe of me that they wouldn’t stand up to me or almost be intimidated of me.

But over time when they saw the fact that I’m not perfect, that notion of perfection faded away and they started to get those feelings because I am better, but maybe not to the extent that they thought me to be.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I actually think it's the other way around.

    Personally, I feel no jealousy, or envy, for a person that I have no respect for. If I think they're a lousy, rotten, terrible person (and thus, not worthy of respect), then I don't want anything they have, nor do I have no desire to be anything like them. Why would I envy someone that I can't even respect? The two would seem to be mutually exclusive.

    Now, if it's someone that I have the utmost respect for; a wonderful or accomplished person, then I would have more reason to feel envy. They are, in my opinion, a truly great person, whom I would aspire to be more like.

    If you respect someone, it would be easier to admire, and emulate them, because they have desireable traits/characteristics that you, yourself, would like to posses (if you don't, already), because then you would have that which you respect.

    You would then increase your own self-respect, by possessing that which you respect, in yourself.

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    • I didn't mean people who are jealous or envious have zero respect or look down on that person.

      But they don't completely respect that person either.

      I think a lot of the times anytime you feel negativity towards another human being, is because somewhere deep down inside a part of you doesn't respect them.

    • Oh, I knew you didn't mean it that way, and I didn't take it as such.

      I knew what you meant, and I'm not saying you're wrong, either. I'm just looking at it from another perspective. :)

What Guys Said 3

  • Well, I always though that the feeling of jealousy only come in when one person sees someone else being extremely successful in their field compared to them. I always thought that jealousy only sets in when you see someone more perfect than who you are !.

    This is the first time I have heard your theory.

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  • In a lot of ways I think your correct. There is another way you can be jealous not just in a professional manor you described. There the other type of jealousy and that's the type in a relationship. When a loved one ( wife) gets jealous of the other (hubby) when they talk to another female's does this type fit into your theory?
    If you don't mind me asking a question what do you do for a living someone might be so jealous of your talents?

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    • I don't think so much it is that what I do/study is so amazing that it is beyond their scope of achieving it, it's mostly my choice of company that Is the issue. A large part of the time the people that I roam around with are not in the same professional reach as I am in their own lives, or don’t have the ability, etc. But the common factor of roaming around with them makes them compare themselves to me, and that causes a number of issues.
      In addition, I was not sensitive to these people, and that made it worse. Now you have someone who has more, and there’s additional resentment because I may have had an unintentionally huge impact on lowering their self-esteem.

    • Show All
    • I know how hard it is to be kind to others when your under a lot of stress and it feel like everything is against you. Look at it this way , there is no such thing as a bad experience just experiences you learn from. You learned something that made you a better person in the long run. You cannot change the past but you can change the future and the future of those around you.

    • But it really was everything against me.

      I'd be sympathetic towards people who feel these emotions but choose to stay away from the person entirely. Yeah I may have made them feel like vermin but I didn't do it on purpose a large part of the reason they felt what they did was because they had low self esteem long before they met me.

      It made me realize there are two sides to everything. Sometimes the underdog really is the bad guy instead of someone you should be feeling sympathetic towards.

      We blame people who have the good things in life: beauty, success etc. but we don't really scrutinize the underdog as much. I think that's one of the issues with our society

  • I don't know if I feel jealousy, I feel resentment if I look at someone who's got more than I think they deserve, but that also means I don't respect them, if I do respect them I think fuckin too right they deserve that shit coz they earned it.

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