Daughter-in-law hates me and uses grandchildren to blackmail me. What should I do?

Just an example, I asked her why she would not allow the children to visit me and I asked if her mother restrictred her from visiting grandparents. She said no but it's different because I don't want my children visiting you. I said to her dont' you think that is a bit mean and her reply was "just for that you are not coming to visit them this week" and she stomped off. Usually we have 1 weekly visit with them for dinner for 2 hours but this week I missed out. This really hurts me because I can't do anything right by her and always feel like I am treading on eggshells. I try to keep the peace because I want to see my grandkids. She is not a bad person but for some reason she has always hated me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't know what to tell you to do, but I'd hurt someone for playing those kinds of emotional games with me. You literally asked the most simple question you could ask, and she reacted that way. That's something that personally kind of pisses me off... but I also don't understand the subtext of what could have been implied or how she might have taken it... so I guess I don't know at all.

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    • Thanks for your opinion. Unfortunately this is just a once off example and this type of thing has been going on for a long time. I am not really sure how to deal with this. But yeah, it does make me feel upset to have these constant games.

    • Well, from my experience this kind of thing is a really touchy issue and I don't know how to solve it. You can't very well tell your son that the girl he's dating is a bad person because he'd just hold it against you, and I've learned that from experience, but I also don't know what to do about it.

      I will say though, that what she's doing is wrong as fuck, and is going to be more harmful to her kid than either she cares, or she realizes.

    • Yes I have spoken to my son but the poor guy was then in a very a awkward place I hate to see him hammered by her and I don't wish that on anyone. But I am very grateful to have your empathy as that helps a little.

What Girls Said 1

  • You should talk to your son about his wife's behavior. With his help, maybe you will get to see your grandchildren. If she absuses her bad attitude, confront, and tell her that she needs to give you some respect.

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    • I guess she can try to, but it's not something I personally expect to work out well. People tend to not like hearing that their significant other is a piece of garbage, especially if they already know and are always made to somehow feel like it's their fault, and I learned that from experience too

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    • It's the mother that's having the problems with inductive reasoning. Not the OP.

      Good inductive reasoning in this situation would be realizing how it's only going to hurt the children, how the children are going to eventually grow up and realize their mom is a bitch for keeping them from their grandma that they love and hasn't done anything wrong, and that her children are ACTUAL FUCKING PEOPLE and not tools to get her what the fuck she wants.

      I don't know why people want to hurt kids. Kids don't hurt anyone else.

    • I'm assuming all of these things because that's how they've always happened in the past. Kids don't stay young and easy to manipulate. They grow up and break away from abusers, or they learn all of the wrong things and become abusive themselves. If the latter happens, then I "reason" that someone should kick her fucking teeth in after the kids move out, because if anyone hates to see a crime go unpunished, it's me, especially if you're hurting kids emotionally or physically. Kids can't fight back.

      Her kids are 3 and I'm almost positive they're already better people than her. Kids learn to share and care about other's feelings. This bitch must have skipped kindergarten to be such a shitty mother.

      OP, read all of this and realize I'm 100% behind you, sweetheart. Fuck that evil manipulative child abusing bitch.

      I sincerely hope someone beats her ass for it, and tells her why she's getting her ass beat while it happens. I sincerely hope she learns a real lesson and breaks down. Fuck her

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