Serious life question, what would you do in my situation?

Im adopted, and live in a white western society with many minorites but the vast majority of these immigrants/minorities are of different ethncities/races than my own, there are barely any people here who look like i do and have a similar ethnic background.

I have been raised by white people and my culture and mindset is the same as the host white population, and i have many friends, but im not one of them, they treat me slightly differently, and majority of girls here are not open to dating people of my ethnicity/race. And while the immigrant girls are slightly more open to it, majority of them stick to their own kind as well.

I dont have a problem with my looks (im dark skinned but ambigous looking with semi caucasian features), and I've done pretty decent when it comes to flings, and drunken hookups, but in my 25 year old life i have maybe met one or two girls at most who was interested in actually dating me (one was way below me in looks and the other was a muslim immigrant). When many girls who even show physical attraction to me refuse to date me seriously along with many hints and clues, it makes it very obvious to me that race is an issue here.

Its worth pointing out that my race is very low status in the west and I've noticed that despite that i have a higher education than most of my friends, and im very social, get people to laugh pretty easily and pretty smart if i can say so myself, and in better shape than many of them,
i still have to work a lot harder than them to get a girls attention, despite the fact that i am of average height of this country and my looks alone make me stand out more from the crowd in most cases here. I seemingly have to compensate for my race, and in many cases its a dealbreaker for them so nothing i can do.

When i traveled to a south American country i noticed i was treated like one of them a lot of the time until they realized i didn't know Spanish (lol), and I had way more success with good looking girls there. So this really made me think...

Should i stay in my country, try to accept my situation here where i at least have my family and friends, or should i leave all behind while im still young and start a new life in a country where my race is not considered as less valued?

What would you do?

  • Stay in the country i was raised in and try to make the best of it
    25% (1)25% (1)25% (2)Vote
  • Take a risk and plausibly get a happier life where my race is not an issue, but leaving family and friends behind
    75% (3)75% (3)75% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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What Guys Said 1

  • There may also be an issue with where you live. There are places in the country where interracial relationships are fairly common. This is not to say that dating is easier in them, but at least the external pressure on girls to avoid certain races would be much less.

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    • Not sure what country you are referring too, but yeah im sure interracial couples might be more common in some parts of USA, but i live in Sweden which is supposedly one of the most "progressive" countries in the world, and i live very close to the capital, very urban environment, many immigrants here as mentioned, and you see every now and then some IR couples, but vast majority of them are between latinos and whites, and after that between middle eastern people and whites, very rare to see other types of IR couples despite the fact that blacks are common here, although im sure if there where more east Asian people here, Asian women white man would be common, you still see it occassionally.

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    • I can understand their mindset, and for a similar reason i kind of want others to be aware that i had to live with a handicap my whole life, but to a lesser degree than what you witness in america with black people. I would be perfectly content if my social circle of friends where more aware that many people here have lots of prejudice against my kind. And also this would make it easier to bring up the subject when i notice someone disrespecting me in a a subtle manner.

      But this is not that big of a deal, i just wish people could be more honest with their views.

    • I can't speak on behalf of minorities but I would bet that many wish that people were less open with their racial views!

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