Would you be turned off if you found out that your girlfriend used to be the "fat, stupid kid"?

I used to be insanely obese in middle school. I got bullied a lot. My father WAS an alcoholic and negligent. I fell into deppression and flunked every subject. Then we moved to a new state and I wanted to bury my past behind me so I exercised and studied like crazy. My dad changed too, after losing my mom to cancer. Now I'm the one who gets straight As and what would you call "attractive." I still suffer from insecurities. I had been dating this guy for a year now and he knows nothing about what I went through.

Should I tell him or will he be disgusted?

  • Open up and tell him.
    65% (52)71% (52)68% (104)Vote
  • Forget it.
    35% (28)29% (21)32% (49)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Newsflash
    amawww.bollywoodshaadis.com/.../1#slidellywoodshaadis. com/articles/13-bollywood-celebrities-who-went-from-fat-to-fit-1559/page/1#slide

    Well there are scores of those that want to date these people well knowing they were fat when they were kids.

    If someone has a problem just because you were obese at one point in time then they are not only overlooking the hard work and result oriented person you are but they aren't fit enough to be around you cause more likely that person / people are intimidated by your ability to regenerate yourself on all counts :)

    If he's anything of a man then he's only going to appreciate how you've turned out - nothing less. I'd say tell him - vote 'A' :)

    If he is disgusted the loss is his and I'm not saying this just for the sake of cheering you up. I mean it :)

    Tell him too just cause it's playing on your mind :)

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    • Thank you, young lady for liking my opinion :)

    • Thank you charming young lady for your kind, thoughtful, generous and gracious gesture of selecting my opinion the MHO <3 :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • The growth of a relationship as to do with the ability to open up and share secrets. That further creates a bond and make your love grow stronger.
    If he finds himself turned off by you (which I feel he won't), then he doesn't truly care for you.
    Someone that really does, will not judge you by your past.
    I am sure he's willing to share some skeletons in his closet as well.
    We all have a past!
    It isn't always roses and flowers like we all try to pretend it is.
    You'll feel much better letting your past off of your shoulders.
    He might even be amazed at how much you've progressed, and have a whole new respect for you.
    It's not easy to overcome what you did.
    <3
    Never be ashamed of your past, it molds you into who you are (especially when you allow yourself to gain and take from it).

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What Guys Said 22

  • If you're interested in something serious, you can't keep this kind of stuff hidden. Each secret you build, especially something as significant and substantial as your childhood history, will betray yourself in some respect, and you'll develop a relationship based on very incomplete information which will tend to eventually drive you both miserable.

    Plus a guy doesn't judge a girl's attractiveness based on her past. I saw my wife's high school yearbook and was horrified a bit, she looked like a female Steve Urkel with big glasses and awkward hair. She blossomed later. That didn't affect my attraction to her at the moment, I mostly thought it was funny and cute that she went from that to this.

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  • tell him. it will only serve to help him better know who you are. it will help him understand why you may have some of the insecurities you have.

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  • Tell him, things happen you where in a bad place you pulled yourself together, theirs nothing to be ashamed of, in fact its something to be proud of. I highly doubt he would care beyond the fact that it has made you insecure.

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  • Yes normally a person would be disgusted by knowing such a fact but in your condition, you worked hard and fixed everything, it's a success story one will admire, it was not like you were a daddies girl eating like a hippo, being fat exactly is not easily in control when you are child, and being fat as child means a good growth... You should let him know he will be happy to know he is with a Victor

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  • I personally wouldn't mind at all. As long as I found you attractive at that time, it doesn't really matter what you looked like in the past. What matters is that she would look attractive to me now. That I would be more so proud that she was able to lose the weight and better her own health. I respect you a lot for that.

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    • Oh no, so many typos! Ugh, that bothers me a lot. But you get the gist of what I was trying to say I hope. :)

    • Hahaaha you're a Grammar Nazi, I get it. 😂
      Kidding haha. I get it, thank you. :)

    • I really am to a certain extent, haha. But you're very welcome. Hope it works out for you!

  • I'd be impressed that you'd improved so much, (especially in your difficult situation) when so many people just get worse! It would definetely turn me on.
    I hope you feel good about yourself now - the fact you managed to change your situation is brilliant and I'm really happy for you!

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  • I wouldn't care. If you're 8/10 now, that's all that matters. Who cares if you were a 2 when you were 13 or whatever? I'd actually have more respect for someone who was fat and dumb and made the effort despite their circumstances, as I would for someone who was hot and smart since birth.

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  • Tell him. There's no such thing as "too much openness" about things that matter to either of you and I think you'll find it helps both you and the relationship.

    And if he's disgusted by what you *used to* look like or something that has made you who you are today, is this a person you want to be around?

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  • No of course not if anything it would make me more attracted to her and I'd be proud of her because of all the effort she put into herself to be what she wanted to be, and rising above being unhealthy.

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  • Any sane man would not be bothered with your history. In fact, I'd be incredibly proud. Not many people can successfully turn a new leaf like that.

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  • No, because if you are healthy now it means you had enough esteem to work on making yourself healthy. And that's a huge turn on to me.

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  • no, I dont see what the past has anything to do with who she is now, she should be praised for working on herself to make herself who she is at the present.

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  • i applaud you on waiting to tell him. you didn't need to wait a whole year but you should be able to tell him anything

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  • I would not be disgusted. Your past isn't your present, and I'd probably be impressed because you lost that weight.

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  • its in the past

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  • you should open up and tell him.

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  • If what you used to be matters to someone, you weren't meant to be with him

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  • It wouldn't bother me at all. It's who you are now that matters.

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  • The thing with the girls who haven't been attractive and come attractive is that they (can) start graving the attention they didn't get before. Even if they are in a relationship. I know girls who were on chubby side and lost weight during their relationship, just to leave the guy as soon they noticed that they were getting attention from better looking guys.

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  • Fat? Lose weight? Stupid? Open a book.

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  • I'd love it because it's likely she will be more down to earth and humble than someone who's been attractive all their life

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  • No I wouldn't mind. I used to be a nerd but I learnt how to dress better and talk to girls. Now I get approached. So it's good you turned your life around

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What Girls Said 16

  • As you mentioned, you still suffer from insecurities.

    Yr boy will be much more likely to be "disgusted" if you DON'T open up to him about this stuff... because, in that case, he will think you have all these random unjustified exaggerated insecurities for no good reason at all. Worst case, he'll think you aren't strong enough to build a relationship and/or life together with.

    If you tell him, then suddenly all these weird things, about the woman he loves, will make SO MUCH SENSE to him.

    Total no-brainer. Tell the boy.

    Ever felt loved just for who YOU are?
    Now's yr chance. <3

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  • That would be very shallow of him. You had absolutely no control over your childhood. So if he judges you by your past then you should make sure you "put him there" The past is who you "were" , the present is who you "are" . So tell him , so he gets to know you as a person , then he can see how far you have come, and what you have overcome in your life.

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  • I read in my Jewish book that just because you are in a relationship with somebody does not mean they should know everything about you. break ups and divorces do happen in this world and there has to be boundaries in a relationship - even if you are together a long time - you should never lose your autonomy to that person. I voted no - keep it to yourself.

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  • I voted " forget it " by mistake 😆 don't be afraid to tell him... I had some problems, bullying but the really slight level.. But i told him, and he was just like, well f*** them, you are the best girl so don't listen to them.. And that's why your boyfriend should say too! If he gets " disgusted" coz of the problems you went through then he is not worth any second of your time coz if he loves you he will comfort you! Not make you feel like all those damn bullies were right, so don't worry, open up and tell him 😊

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  • I would want to know about my partner's past in that way. it would help me understand him as a person, plus, I would admire the positive changes he made in his life. If your boyfriend is the same way, he'll appreciate it if you open up.

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  • ... Do you really think being fat is the worst thing a person could be?
    You may not be overweight now but there are people with a much worse past who are able to find love.

    My fiance used to be a drug addict - it bothered me a little at first because it was put into my head that drug addicts are not the best people to be around. He never once influenced me to take drugs myself, he hasn't taken drugs for 5 years. He has a full time job and is going to university next year.

    Believe me, telling someone you used to be overweight is pretty much the mildest thing you can tell someone about your past.

    Try telling someone you went through 5 plastic surgeries due to a facial defect and then show them the picture of you before the surgeries. My defect is genetic, weight can be controlled.

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  • Do you feel there is a need to tell him? Is there a possibility he may hold it against you like use it as leverage in an argument? I think you are remarkable, you don't need to be ashamed. In fact, you are inspiring☆ Is keeping it to yourself holding you back in life or the relationship? If not, whatever you had going before you met him is really none of his business.

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  • It depends how open you are or if you want to forget everything and leave the past behind. I don't think guys in general would care because it does not matter what you looked like in the past. If anything, he might respect you more for it because of what you overcame.

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  • Honestly that's all the in past. As my boyfriend always says,"It doesn't matter who you used to be. What matters is who you want to be."

    Also you can never have a true relationship until EVERYTHING is out in the open with them.

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  • Telling him wouldn't hurt anything it might even help your relationship. That old you, although she is gone, is what made you the person he loves. You may have walked away from her but she will always be inside you. He needs to know that

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  • Well , same here and i couldn't care less about what other people think about it now, it changed so where's the problem? it does happen to a lot of teens anyway

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  • I say open up to him and tell him 😊 It might bring you guys even closer 💖 No decent guy would be turned off by that... It's your past, what truly matters is the kind of person you are NOW 💝

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  • nope forget it! I doubt it matters now.

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  • You should tell him.
    If he asks negatively, then obviously he's not the one for you.
    You should be with a person that understand and support each other.

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  • I think it all depends on how comfortable you feel with him.

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  • Most decent guys wouldn't care

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