Guys, how do you feel knowing that sometimes a girl will reject you even if she likes you?

In my other question there were a few girls who admitted they still rejected guys they liked because they were just scared.

how do you feel about that?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If a girl is scared to accept a guy she likes, that reads as: SEVERE SELF ESTEEM ISSUES. I'd never do this and anybody who does is better off single.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well let me put it this way...

    I got rejected by a girl that liked me 2 years ago and I am still getting over it, whats worse is that a couple weeks later I was digging through my backpack and found a note from her expressing how much she liked me and how she didn't want to reject me, but had to, and unfortunately I completely understand why she did. 2 years later though I still think about her, still think about the "what if" and the "if only". Every time someone knocks on my front door (i kid you not) the thought always crosses my mind of "what if its her", and it never is.

    So to answer your question we (or at least I) feel horrible about it, I was horribly depressed for a over a month and even today I still get sad when I think about her, although I've begun to (finally) move on. Of course my situation is weirder then most, we live on opposite sides of the globe, speak different languages, and come from completely different cultures. I completely understand why she rejected me, the distance alone is enough to drive anyone mad, and I can see why she made the decision, I guess it wasn't meant to be, but I still get horribly depressed when I think about her.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Hmmm, if I rejected a guy but was interested it would be for the best. There would be some reason as to why either my heart or his would be broken in the end that and time would be wasted. ex) moving soon, just got out of a relationship, he's just not what I need.

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  • Huh? Why would I reject a guy I liked. If a girl is scared to accept someone, she knows at some level the guy is not right for her.

    I don't think a girl would deliberately reject a guy she likes.

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    • Thanks for the link. Well, if you notice, all of the girls who rejected guys were in their teens or at the most 21 or so. I can imagine that happening at that age. A girl is not used to the idea of dating or can't believe a guy can be interested in her. And thus can say 'no' just out of fear of confronting a New situation, she doesn't know how to deal with. Happened to me too, when I was 13/14. But this would not apply to an older girl with some experience, or to those who are confident and balanced...

  • I am okay with that.

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  • They should be scared - if the relationship fails - they are left with a child to raise out of wedlock without the support and assistance of a husband meaning they may have to life on welfare or worse.

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What Guys Said 27

  • I dont nessesarily fault them, well depending on their reasons. If they are insecure then I understand, but if theyre playing some cat and mouse game where they just want you to chase them then they suck.

    A really beautiful girl could ask me out and I could still see myself turning them down even if I like them. It wouldn't matter if they liked me or saw me as good enough in their eyes because if I dont like myself, if I dont see myself as good enough then I won't be able to accept. There will be somethimg inside me that holds me back. Its hard to explain. Sometimes people just aren't in an emotional state where they are ready for a relationship, even if someone they like asks them out.

    So if a girl's reason for turning down a guy she likes is similar to that I dont think it makes them bad. Sure it might be frustrating to the person asking them out but her reasons aren't with ill intent.

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  • Sadly it'll always hurt to some degree. Even if you were never interested in the girl. You will always be thinking that you did something wrong in the back of your mind.

    This happened with a girl that I had liked for a couple of years, and even though we had been dating other people along the way. I always had had a thing for her, and was rejected a few times when asking her out. It wasn't until about 4 years later, and me being engaged at the time. Did she ever admit that she actually liked me, and was afraid of falling for me. That she did perhaps set a barrier between the two of us. Just to protect her own heart.

    In the end, everything worked out, but for her it's sad as she's single again and has admitted that her fear of possible rejection/falling in love was a component of her unhappiness. Which is now something that she's finally willing to conquer.

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  • "They were just scared" seems like an oversimplification. I read some of the responses to your first question. One girl said the boy was pretty abrupt with her. Another said that while she felt attraction, the guys weren't right for her.

    Can't speak to those specific situations exactly, but in a lot of cases we're talking about a guy who is stronger, taller and bigger than the girl. It is natural for her to be physically intimidated and careful.

    Another said he had asked other girls to ask her out for him. That can be confusing. Others said they were focused on other things and didn't want to be in relationships. Everybody has a story.

    How do I feel? Pretty good that someone can feel attracted, disappointed that she would reject me in spite of that, and comforted to know that it isn't always about me.

    I have done it too. I have not asked out women I was attracted to, even if I felt signals coming from her. Sometimes I was in a relationship, sometimes she was, sometimes I was taken by surprise, or doubted her sincerity, and regretted it later. I don't think women own this particular quirk. Can't you see yourself doing this under certain circumstances?

    That said, if I asked a woman out, and she was excited about going out with me, then hopefully she would get over her fear pretty quickly and go for it. That's the woman I really want to say "yes."

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  • Happened before I moved on.
    No point in dwelling on someone that's not compatible with you.
    I actually wrote a whole myTake on the one time a girl rejected me and it got me to reevaluate the girls that I should pursue.
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23926-what-i-ve-learned-from-my-pursuit-of-girls
    I am eternally grateful to her and 2 female friends of mine that showed me what type of woman I should be looking for.

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  • If a woman rejects me, I assume she doesn't like me. The only time it might have been otherwise was with this girl in eighth grade; I was absolutely in love with her. I adored her. She rejected me, and know that I look back on the experience, I believe she did like me. And, it doesn't make me angry, sad, or regretful, only confused.

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  • I probably wouldn't feel much about that.
    I'd think it's a bit strange behavior. But I've seen people display way stranger behavior than that so I would probably just move on and find someone who doesn't behave in a counterproductive way.

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  • I think this is why being persistent is a good thing to do. Because many times this can happen and if you give up so soon you may not get what you could of had. I can think of a few girls who were like this in my past where I knew they were into me but for whatever reason weren't owning up to it. So I would just be more persistent or aggressive and they usually always come around.

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  • Good, I wouldn't want to date a coward.

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  • More proof that no matter how tough and resilient someone may seem... people cannot be insanely weird when it comes to guarding their emotions.

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  • It's impossible to please everyone, thus rejection is bound to happen.

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  • Sounds kind of weird to me. Rejection is part of life... accept it and move on! I don't tend to let things like that phase me!

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  • Well she shouldn't then complain that I would never approach her again.

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  • Im not sure why she'd do that? Scared? I've never understood that myself. I guess it's her loss as the guy she likes, whoever it may be, might move on to another girl.

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  • She must be pretty immature to do that, and I would probably be glad I got rejected if that was the case. I'd have no problem moving on from that.

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  • Hmmm, she might have her reasons but I definitely aren't interested in games. If she says no then that's the end of it, it's her loss and she probably knows it/will know it anyways.

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  • Honestly, that would definitely be a loss for her and potentially a loss for me too. I would be curious of why she was intimidated by me though. I believe that I'm far away from looking intimidating.

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  • I honestly don't know how to describe how bad it feels, so i won't.
    It will speak for itself when it happens...

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  • Well that would suck i admit , but if she rejects me and doesn't come with a proper excuse and makes it clear she likes me , iam gone from her life

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  • If the girl reject me even after liking me just because she is scared... It clearly shows how much decisional skills she have... Very poor.
    I will pass on.

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  • I don't know, maybe she has something going on. But I'd move on if I didn't see a future.

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  • i would just move on because she still rejected me

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  • Im scared that this will happen next week. Im gonna ask a girl out (first time in my life) and she likes me ( I think) and we have always have a good time but what if she rejects me. Im not sure how to react when that happens.

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  • curious to annoyed

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  • I mean, i get nervous too so i can definitely relate

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  • I don't have time for that nonsense

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  • It makes no sense! If you like someone why reject them, your losing out in my opinion.

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  • Oh well, if they want to squander their opportunities that's their problem.

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