I'm a guy who's 18, never dated and has become convinced he will always be alone. Becoming more aware has made it worse. Is all lost?

Okay I have to get this out, and this is a place I found.

I'm 18, living in the UK, a heterosexual guy who has never dated or been close to doing so.

To give you an idea, I am not attractive physically, by my own analysis. I have little hair and an oversized forehead, creating that classic "probable murderer" look, and no amount of gym time has been able to earn me an acceptable body.

It's not much better personality wise. My interpersonal skills have always been so impaired that, for most of my life, I was believed to be autistic. I am afraid to approach women, and unable to see in the moment any signs indicating that they may be interested. I believe that I am completely repellent as a person, and I'm pretty sure other people do too.

I do not consider myself to have any real friends, much less ones who can introduce me to others. My interests are obscure to the point that I can't meet anyone through them either.

Recent developments have made it worse. After being blown off repeatedly and considering the problem may be me as a person, I began to read up on basic stuff about how to properly respect women. I managed to realise that I wasn't entitled to anyone, but then I thought: if I'm not entitled to anyone, what chance do I have? After all, I'm utterly abhorrent due to some things I'll never be able to change (see above) so without the illusion that I was destined for someone, my confidence in finding someone fell to rock bottom.

I feel I may have developed a sort of depression as a result of, or to compound, this, but I am afraid to go and get help. I'm in so deep that I have begun to resent the happiness of existing couples, a feeling which has been amplified around this time of year. (Another sign that I am just a bad person.)

I'm hoping I'll get out of this either some words of support or advice; or a confirmation that I will be alone all my life.

  • You're wrong, you can find someone
    92% (12)82% (9)88% (21)Vote
  • You're right, it's time to accept it
    8% (1)18% (2)12% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're so young, you literally have nothing to worry about. Dating as a teen is really only a trial phase anyways.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't see how U could be autistic with the way U type. It sounds like U take things way too seriously. Do U have a job or place where u can go and meet ppl?

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  • First thing is to treat mental illness, everything else will come after that, but nothing is likely to come before. You're intelligent and well written. Frankly, I find your honesty and vulnerability endearing, and your writing style quite attractive.

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  • I'm in my late 20s and never dated. I win.

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What Guys Said 10

  • hey look we are the same... :3

    i just started talking to a woman online and its boosted my confidence and she is such a sweetheart, i recommend you try the same, loads will reject you and such but one will eventually chat with you and become close.

    if i keep up how im going i wouldn't be surprised if i had the confidence to ask people out and get out of my depression and anxiety just enough to be more confident, I've just accepted my flaws as characteristics at this point and if im not liked for them then fuck it... on to the next person to see if they like me for me!

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  • Man, I know EXACTLY how you feel. A lot of what you said could be applied to me. I don't have good social skills, especially with girls, and I don't feel attractive at all. I've never been on a date and sometimes I feel like no girl would ever want to date me. You know what though? I voted yes, you can find someone, because I believe everyone has a soul mate out there. Even you and me. And when we find that person, all of the heartache we go through will be worth it in the end.

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  • Lesson for you my friend. Life doesn't get better. You get better then life gets better automatically. So get better. Start studying pickup, dating , relationships, how to build rapport, how to connect with people. Start studying. Or you can do what you have been doing. Take responsibility for everything that happens to you. I will start with this book. Its free and will set you on the right track. You have to do the work. On the right hand side sign up and it will take you to the book free.
    https://understandingrelationships.com/
    Good luck.

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    • A lot of people complain. You give them a solution and they still don't take it. Don't be like them. Walk away from the mediocre people and walk into the world of self help.
      Only you can choose. Only you can read the book so its in your mind. Only you can determine the outcome of your life.
      Your choice?

  • Welcome to the site - You are so young - There are many on the site who feel the same way - Instead of listing what you think is wrong with you - Think what is right for you - Literally you have no idea what will happen next?

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  • i didn't even read your article and dont care. the reason you feel this way is the same reason you posted this article. figure it out,

    ok ill give you the answer. your insecure, childish, extremely negative, and give off a nasty vibe.

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    • Wtf is wrong with you...

    • Show All
    • Im not hating, bub.

    • you're gonna grow into your own skin dude. and your right you might end up single, i might end up single. brad pitt and angelina might end up single. it can happen to anyone. keep going to the gym, work on yourself. you seem like the age you're going to start college or a career. things are gunna change a lot for you. i know a lot of guys have a hard time going to college as a virgin or never dated etc. work on yourself. find cool friends.

      i get it the social skill aren't great but theyre called skills for a reason, you can practice, you can learn.

      with the body thing dude i lost 40 lbs and still dont like the way i look. almost noone loved the way they look. try this for me.

      every time a negative though strikes you say "think positive 1.2.3" and just get up and do something positive. this will translate to more positive things in your life and will subconsiously train your mind to always think positive.

      i did it in a very similar fashion.

  • you're 18. You've been fully dependent on your parents most if not all your life. Start spreading your wings and flying on your own before determining that all is lost.

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  • You still have time, I have the same problem but I'm 20 years older than you :(

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  • I feel sorry that you've been brought up in a feminazi society and have been filled with feminazi mythology.

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  • its ok pal women are not a necessity to be saved. peace comes from heavenly sources... .

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  • I think you can find someone.

    But probably not this month.

    Social skills are skills. They come more naturally to some, less to others. You will need to consciously improve yours.

    You're in an age range that's actually quite tough on males for dating, because women your age are in incredibly high demand and can date out of the age range, while guys can't. Things flip to being in men's favor in the late 20's, and stay that way forever.

    Get help with your social skills, step 1. Keep exercising, even if your body isn't great it's almost certainly better than it would be.

    Are you working or in school?

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