Why do I always need guys attention?

I just feel like I always need guys attention. I can't cope without it otherwise I feel really lonely but then I feel really pathetic afterwards for feeling like that. It means I start talking to guys I don't really like and unintentionally leading them on. In the moment I do like them but then obviously I feel really guilty when I realise that I don't. 😞

I've always been like it, even wanting any form of attention. I literally remember being like it as a child. I've tried thinking why I'm like this myself, my dad didn't give me much attention I guess. Then I didn't get much male attention from guys at school, they'd pick on me quite a bit which my self esteem for years. I just want to get over it but it's really hard :/


2|1
7|6

Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. You like being the center of attention - nothing wrong with that
    2. You may not like what I state hereon but I mean it in good faith and an attempt to decipher and explain - no patronization or condescending you for sure :) <3
    3. Irony is extremely good looking hot girls like yourself often tend to have low self esteem and the feeling that you aren't getting enough attention
    4. Such a behavior makes you susceptible to predators
    5. While there is nothing wrong in asking for attention from the other gender, requiring validation will make a wreck of you
    6. AND you are skirting the line between needing attention and validation (bending more towards the latter)
    7. This is a dangerous and flimsy line you are treading on
    8. Once you cross over to the validation part, it's a never ending vicious circle & you'll never get enough while slowly you'll unwittingly get addicted to pain and humiliation
    9. Hence, get what professional help you can (I'm not saying you are wonky but this is quite a situation you are heading to) and go towards becoming a bitch than head for validation - best that way :)
    10. Better be hated and craved for than be sympathized and manipulated :)

    Good luck beautiful young lady :) <3

    2|2
    0|0
    • Thank you both for liking my opinion and selecting my opinion the MHO beautiful young lady :) Your kind, charming, generous and thoughtful gesture stands most appreciated.

      Man I typed out a 2 line comment after this (and I type pretty fast) and here stands the MHO :)

      If you understand and better, execute what I've written especially point 10 that'd make me real happy :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Attention is like an addiction and the less we got as children the more we crave as adults. This is really hard but you are going to need to develop the skill of validating yourself. This means not second-guessing yourself, respecting yourself, and liking yourself whether or not you feel pretty that day. You are going to need to adapt to life and be happy whether your day is full of reassurance or not. Once a jealous person senses your weakness they will do everything to tear you down so that's another reason to build ego resistance. Feel free to inbox me. I've spent my whole life learning this. The struggle is real♡

    2|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • I've once been on a youth camp and there was this girl who was the youngest participant. She couldn't follow the group when hiking or doing sports and on some occasions I even took her on my back (I was 4 years older).
    She would hang around me and seek hugs, chats, kiss me on the cheek 12 times a day... I had the feeling she saw me as a daddy.
    At the end of the camp I heard why: her parents were in the middle of a divorce and did not give her any friendship or attention. I had been the first person in a year or so who took good care of her :D
    So Alex, saying that your father didn't give you much attention... there's your reason! You've got used to seeking it with other people. That's a normal reflex, don't be embarrassed :D

    1|0
    0|0
  • It sounds like it could be down to not really having that male role model in the family growing up and not really having male friends in school.

    Now you're are older and have a few males in your life I think when and if you get close to them be it a friendship or more you want to be the one to push them away from your life before they do it.
    so you're not the one getting hurt

    2|0
    0|0
    • You're so right

    • Show All
    • As ru Paul says :p

    • that's a blast from the past can't remember the last time I saw or heard her name.

  • Those sounds like valid reasons but I think you have to figure out what your standards are and really find out if you could like a guy in the long run. And remember you don't need nor should you need a guys attention you can want it but you shouldn't need it.

    You need to work on that and you need to pay more attention to the type of guy giving you the attention and why he is giving you that attention. This will make a big difference.

    1|0
    0|0
    • That's spot on actually.
      I'm meeting a guy next week, he does seem genuinely really nice. Like I think we will really get on but I'm not sure if I'm attracted to him... we'll see I guess. Just don't want to let him down if I don't feel the same way he does

    • Show All
    • Yeah I think that's a good idea. I am attracted to his personality I think but it's not as obvious my attraction towards him physically. I've told him I want to be friends with him at least.

    • Well you know just take it slow don't put any pressure on yourself to make something out of nothing, sometimes attraction isn't always there at first and other times it just needs time to blossom, you women are a species all your own in this regard lol.

  • I'm the same way but with girls. I think it has to do with our self-esteem. Like maybe you don't feel good about yourself, so you seek validation from the opposite sex in order to feel good about yourself? I don't know, I'm just assuming things here, but I think it has to do with our how we think of ourselves.

    You can try talking to a psychiatrist. They might be able to shed some light on this issue for you.

    2|0
    0|0
  • you reaaly love men and you're a daddy's girl

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 6

  • I see a lot of the old me in you. The best way out of there is just begin happy and spending time with yourself. When your happy by yourself just the way you are and actually can say you like something about you makes a huge different. Stay away from guys until you can stand tall and give yourself so much attention you don't need it from others. I kinda do my own thing watch movies and jog and go sightseeing. I realize I am happy and calm and nothing bugs me or I don't care for guys looking at me. (: Its great when you have so much self love that you forget about everyone else.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Aw I really want to get to that point :) thank you for this advice!

  • Because you're extremely insecure. This is why you post a million selfies on this website and ask us which one looks best and ask questions about guys all the time. I honestly don't know why you're so insecure and have low self esteem, you seem like a sweet gal and you are a pretty girl. You need to grow into your skin and realize you don't need a mans attention 24/7 and to love yourself. Whatever happened in the past is in the past.

    If you don't love yourself, no one is going to love you.

    3|0
    0|0
    • That's so true. I feel like I'm slowly getting there, baby steps I guess. Just wish I'd hurry up and mature a little

  • I've always had an issue with needing male validation...

    and doing almost anything to get it.

    I still struggle with it when I'm single.

    1|1
    0|0
    • I was wondering if I should give you a mention in my opinion :) YOU came to mind when I read this question - apologies, not patronizing or condescending you in any manner :) <3

    • @HandsomeRaj I'm not surprised that I did. I've been rather open with my issues and struggles on here.

    • You'll do well young lady :) <3 🌹

  • you just feel lonely and want to feel special by leading guys that like you on and yes you want attention. its a natural feeling

    1|0
    0|0
  • You need to resolve the issues that plague you within honey.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You're insecure. And you base your worth on wether guys give you guys give you attention or not.

    3|1
    0|0
    • by the way, I used to be like you, so I understand the struggle. You need to work on it.

Loading...