What's the dumbest thing you've ever said out loud?

I'm curious. The funnier the better😄


0|0
17|17

Most Helpful Guy

  • "Ratshit Batshit Dirty old twat. 69 assholes tied in a knot. Hooray. Lizardshit. FUCK!"

    2|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • "... I don't know why the fuck I am even here right now."

    I walked in my aunt's kitchen during a family Christmas.

    ... Cough*

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 16

  • "The best thing about being laid off is I know after today I'll never have to work for that fat fuck ever again."
    He was standing right behind me.
    Seriously, though, he was a terrible person, and a horrible boss. No regrets.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Oh crap that must've been awkward

    • Any line, any position, in the manufacturing we did, I was able to do that job. Line operators requested me specifically when we ran certain products, because they knew I knew the job, and could help the line run well.
      The boss hated my guts for reasons I have never understood, and insisted I was a worthless employee who contributed nothing to our shift. I was the one of only 3 people from my shift let go in the first wave of layoffs.
      lol so no, not awkward. He couldn't exactly fire me, and it was nice knowing he heard exactly what I thought of him, because I tended to keep quiet, keep my head down, and work.

      Still, it wasn't my most shining moment.

  • When I was in High School I brought a bottle of lotion with me because I had serious issues with my hands. Well, people used to make fapping jokes about it. One day, the teacher asked if any of us came to the the dance, and I shouted "I came." Poor choice of words. Everyone started laughing. lol

    3|0
    0|0
  • I didn't say it, but I was on a bus for a rafting trip and the teenage guide told us "Be careful of rocks, because the water is lower than when it was higher".

    1|0
    0|0
  • Thats a long list... but i don't blurt out random shit... but i do get a lot of "whaaaaat"s.
    i'll hit you back up after a few more shots lol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I like your boots, and I had to explain what I said, cuz the person thought I said I like your boobs, I explained it and it was fine, and that person is actually my girlfriend now lol

    1|0
    0|0
  • I was in a restaurant on my way home with some friends from a concert. The waitress took our orders and as she walked away I said in the booming voice that only two hours right in front of the speakers brings "Ya know, she'd be really pretty if it wasn't for her face."

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do incoherent complete gibberish sentences count? Because I've had like mini strokes before when trying to talk and I just said random things that really wouldn't count as a sentence...

    0|0
    0|0
  • I was riding along my brover's friend car and I shouted bus wankers at the people at the bus stop. #dumbass #douche

    0|0
    0|0
  • That'd be like finding a needle in a mountain of needles.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well I made a bet with a girl right
    And if she wins she gets to kick me in the balls
    And she ended up winning and she kicked me straight in the balls pretty hard
    And yelled "ooooh, I feel like a man"
    In like the weirdest high pitched voice ever
    I don't even know why I said that
    I my just happened and it was so embarrassing
    As if getting kicked in the balls wasn't embarrassing enough

    0|0
    0|0
  • I miss Jersey Shore.

    0|0
    0|0
  • "Students here are so idiot" ... in front of a institute. One of the teachers saw me...

    0|0
    0|0
  • So everything was quiet in the class room then out of now where I said try a ladies size

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you don't shut up I'm gonna fart in your a$$

    0|0
    0|0
  • For some reason I can't explain... I used to scream "soloooooooo" when I was a kid... every time ma mom or grandma were wiping ma ass after takin' a dump...

    0|0
    0|0
  • I was in a car with my friend and I yelled
    Hey sexyyyy at a girl on the side walk but his dumb self stops so she could see me

    2|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 16

  • I think the most recent stupid thing was me telling the boyfriend that his word does not count as proof and that he could not go into a court of law and say that I'd done this thing and have it taken down as evidence. It took him a few seconds to explode with 'YES YOU CAN' and then I realised that that is a thing and it's called a testimony and happens in pretty much every court case.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I have a friend who was paralyzed from the waist down in a terrible automobile accident years ago. A while back, she dropped something heavy on her lap, and it sliced open one of her calf muscles. When I saw the blood, I went to help her, and I said "that looks like it really hurts!"

    I felt like such a jack@ss, because of course she can't feel a thing. Luckily for me, she laughed about it and forgave me.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Please note: I was much younger when this happened so we've all moved past it but there was one time I may have suggested to my step mom's slightly bigger boned sister that she borrow some of her sister's pregnant clothes. I was like "Oh, that came out wrong" and they were like "nope, you said it. Can't take it back." I felt awful for SO LONG you guys.

    2|0
    0|0
    • O wow! That's a doosy😦

      Surely she's forgivin you by now though right?

    • Oh yes, we're all good pals! Like I said, I was much younger then so when I left the room they were probably just like "ah, kids, they say the darnedest things, don't they?" lol

  • My friends and I often go to the mall to
    1. Shop
    &
    2. Prank people
    In the midst of pranking people we do dumb shit, seriously dumb. And we had to go around the mall screaming "PENIS!" and weird shit like that.
    But the stupidest thing i've said is when I went into Victoria Secret (as the prank) and looked at all the bras and just screamed out in the middle of the store "BUT MAH BEWBIES TO SMALL!" ugh.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hmm I can't think of that many right now
    But, one of my UNI teachers has a last name that starts with 'Atan' and then continues with some more letters. And he was given a nickname by adding S in front of it , so it was Satan (then the rest of his name)
    And I was sitting with some colleagues and a girl came to ask us how we like the teacher. And I said "Oh you mean Satan (+rest of the name)?". And my friends started laughing and that teacher came out the door a second after. I was "oh, am I that stupid, what if he heard me? " Luckily he didn't lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • "sar-cow-fou-guess". I literally said this out loud in class room.
    The word was sarcophagus.

    1|0
    0|0
  • i save my dumb comments for GAG :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • Me and my cousin were watching TV and I had seen the Pope on and I asked is that the new Jesus? Lol of course I know who Jesus is and I know who the Pope is it just came out!! My cousin still brings it up ugh

    0|0
    0|0
  • i've said some pretty stupid shit... glad i blocked it out of my memory

    1|0
    0|0
  • Not really funny, but embarrassing, my cousin-in-law had just gotten a really short hair cut and I wasn't really a fan. The first time I seen it, I said "Oh. You got a haircut. It looks (big long pause because of how shocked I was) fine?" I felt so horrible afterwards.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I was doing a presentation once and I said "... is the world's one of the largest exporters in the world"
    That phrase doesn't make any sense, lol. I didn't want to read straight off from the power point, I want it to make it in my own words. I guess, it would have been better if I just read it from power point, although it's not recommended. At least I wouldn't risk myself to say something stupid.
    "Germany is one of the largest exporters in the world" That's what I should have said.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Somebody called me a geek, then i automatically said "Actually, that's why I'm irresistible" Jesus, I'll hate myself forever for that, and another one
    I said to a full grown man who was a fitness trainer
    "You need to shave your legs"
    And he was like
    "WHAT did you say?"
    So dumb

    0|0
    0|0
  • I say a lot of dumb stuff so I don't really know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My teacher gave us an article to read in 7th grade and she asked if we understood and knew what all the words meant and I for some reason didn't recognize the word "finally" I guess i temporarily forgot and I asked what the word on the 2nd paragraph was that started with an F,😮😩😂😂 anyway everyone just stared at me and then I realized the word was "finally" and I kinda just hid inside my sweatshirt lol 😂😂😏👌

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its not illegal unless me and him have sex (talking about a 19 year old when I was 14 almost 15)

    0|0
    0|0
  • I said "it's not raining in here" in a very serious voice, while inside when my dad and brother were talking about how it was raining outside.
    I still feel stupid.

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...