Do you connect to people easily? If not, how do you feel about it?

Simple question, do you connect to people easily? And, if you don't, how does that make you feel?

I myself don't connect easily with people, even family. So, when I find a person or persons I connect with, I cherish it greatly. Since, it doesn't happen often for me. I don't know why it's so hard for me, it's just always been that way. Mostly I except my difference but sometimes when I'm around all these people relating to each other and connecting so well, I feel kind of bad about myself and wish things weren't so hard for me.

Guess that's why I ask this question, to see if anyone else is like that too.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I connect well with people I know well but I find it extremely hard to connect with new people I meet. I only have very few people I would call buddies (and by few I don't mean 5-10, I mean around 2) and I only have one single person that I call a friend. I think there are several reasons why it's so hard for me to connect with other people. The most important reason is one I unfortunately can't change: I have a physical disability. I don't mean to whiny but sadly, disabilities are still something that can be very ostrasizing. Many people don't talk to me and sometimes for the sole reason that they're scared to hurt or offend me in some way. Obviously, it's also much, much harder to get to know women with a disability. It takes a special type of character to be both understanding and considerate about a person's disability and, at the same time, still fall in love with that person by forgetting the disability and seeing the person as person. Back when I was a child, I sometimes got bullied. Now as an adult, people just don't really talk to me anymore. It's hard to tell which is worse.

    But there are also other things that are more related to my character. One such issue is that I hate smalltalk and I'm also incredibly bad at it. When people do smalltalk, I get bored easily. I don't wanna know where somebody grew up and how old they are and what their pet is called. I couldn't care less for these things at the beginning of a relationship. Later, when I know a person, these things may become interesting but why would it matter to me if somebody I've just met studies physics or economics. What I wanna know is some deep stuff. Their political views, their religious views, the way they think about certain philosophical issues or questions etc. Things that actually tell me something about that person. Unfortunately, you can't really ask people these things when you've just met them unless you want to be considered a weirdo.

    And one other big reason is that communication skills are EXTREMELY important to me. I react very over-average sensitive to bad communication skills. For example two weeks ago, my girlfriend invited some of her friends. Among these friends, there was a girl I didn't know yet. She first seemed nice and interesting but the longer the evening dragged on, the more annoyed I got about her. I could tell that this girl absolutely looooved to talk. She loves the attention and she loves to be in the center of all attention. And more

    • annoyingly, she's a really bad listener. During every conversation we had over dinner (we were 6 people in total), she constantly interrupted people to tell everyone what HER views are on the topic. It felt like she just wants to hear herself talk. If she felt like people weren't paying enough attention to her, she would just raise her voice. Interestingly, other people didn't seem to care too much but I got very bothered by it. She also used these questions that I call "spring-board-questions". These are questions where you're not really interested in the answer, you just want the other person to talk about something so you can interrupt them and tell them about YOUR views on the topic.
      Or another example of bad communications skills are people who can't thoroughly discuss an interesting topic in length but have to jump to another topic every other minute. That's also something I really can't take. How am I supposed to build a relationship with people who switch topics all the time.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I generally don't connect well with people, either on a deeper level (lifetime friendship) or general friendship. I'd say that I'm introverted if people don't have the "key," but if one does, I can open up in time. I enjoy talking to them so much, that sometimes I feel like I'm talking a lot.

    To me, it depends on the personality of the people. Few people are easier for me to connect with, and others aren't. Some are more approachable, therefore I find it natural to talk to them and feel comfortable around them. I think these people are usually the ones who initiated the first sentence, since like I said, I'm introverted. Even if I had hoped to befriend someone, I don't, because I don't know the strategies, and my personality isn't like that.

    My best friend actually appeared to be cold and serious to me. I never noticed or bothered how I appeared to be in his eyes, meaning I was myself, doing what my heart wanted. Until one time, through my sister, we were introduced to each other, and we started talking whenever we saw each other. He is actually an encouraging and supportive friend. He noticed that I looked serious with my education in school, although I never knew that he did. We connect well, but it doesn't happen often.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I find it quite hard to connect with people. It's frustrating.

  • Damn, I could have written that; I feel exactly the same.


What Girls Said 1

  • It depends. Some people I click with right away. Others not so much