I hate myself. How can I be more confident?

I am a 21 year old female. I'm so fed up with myself. I hate how shy I am, I have no friends no boyfriend, no job and I'm broke. I feel like I am never good enough for anyone. I almost got a job I did the training and then they told me I was unfit because I was too shy. I am dealing with depression and I am starting to get thoughts to hurt myself. I am currently crying while writing this. I just want to be happy and confident. I want to have friends and I want to be sucessful. I feel like I never have good luck I hate my boring life and I hate my lame shy personality. As for looks I think I am a pretty girl but I do have those days where I feel hideous and uncomfortable. I just wish to be more open and out there. I need to learn to loosen up and be more social. But I just can't. I don't know what to do... I am such an introvert. And when it comes to talking to guys they are only interested to hook up with me or when I meet someone online we talk and everything goes well then they drift away and we stop talking. I haven't had a job since 6 months, I was so happy to begin working until they told me I wasn't good enough. Now I'm just upset and bummed out. I get jealous of people who are living the life always smiling and have such fun energetic personalities. I really wanted to start off 2016 to a good start and it's not


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The reason you are sad right now is because you can't accept yourself for who you are. You see I'm shy too i gone through depression too but never thought of hurting myself because I was better than that. Rather I tried to solve the problems that were hurting me. First you need to list down these problems you think you have but just to tell you shyness isn't one of them. Thats your personality accept yourself and just be cool with who you are trust me within time your gonna be more comfortable around people. Then you will see that you will be shy but outgoing at the same time just like a child. Your first step should be to stop thinking of what everyone is thinks about you. Let them think but don't let them hurt you. Turst me your stronger than that, every human is. I'm just curious whats your zodiac?

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    • Thank you. I'm a Capricorn and it's creepy how much I actually relate to being one.

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    • My rising was Pisces or Scorpio I don't remember but it was one of those

    • Lol okay that sounds right :) just start with accepting yourself hating is not gonna solve the issue. You are no less than any other human being no one is confident but everyone is good at playing as if they're confident. You just gotta think that your confident and by accepting yourself for who you are is the first step of being confident. Try helping people out and volunteering this way you will test yourself. There is no need to be shy from someone, it is just mind games some people are really good at oppressing people with their looks or by their words just ignore these types of people and you're fine

Most Helpful Girl

  • There's no advice out there that's going to do this for you. You have to draw a line in the sand and you have to say "I'm not going out like a little bitch!"

    If your too shy to be friendly, then don't be friendly. Get a job where you can punch in, get your shit done, and go home. Factory work is where I started.

    Don't make freinds or love a priority right now. Once you focus on yourself and get back in control of yourself, then you can start reaching out. That's the point I'm at right now, starting to talk to people online instead of face to face.

    It won't be easy and you'll have to be a cold bitch to keep the pain away, but it's like having a cast on while a broken bone heals. Once your better you can take it off and show everyone the stronger, better you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Firstly, relax and take a deep breath. I know how hard it can be to socialize, especially when you're dealing with depression. I've struggled with social anxiety and depression for years. Understand that this, like everything, is temporary. You'll find a job, and you can certainly meet new people and make new friends and meet guys who will enjoy your company. You just need to be persistent and not lose hope. I know it can seem impossible at times, but you can do it. However, I'd say you must take some time to take care of yourself first because it sounds like you need some self care and self love. I'd recommend going to see a counselor for your depression and thoughts of self harm, both are very serious and shouldn't be taken lightly. However given your current situation that may not be viable at the moment. So I'll just ask you to please, please, please take care of yourself and do right by yourself because you do deserve it.

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  • Try joining group/clubs try joining a church group they should be really freindly and they should accept you for who you are. If they don't just leave.

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  • Get a job first, one that doesn't require you to be very social. Before you worry about friends and boyfriends, get yourself settled so you're happy with who you are. You need to have self respect before you worry about other people. Don't try to fix everything at the same time or you'll get overwhelmed.

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  • You have to try to love yourself no matter what and work on improving your weaknesses. You can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to

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