Verbally Abusive mom Advice?

I love my mom but she is very verbally abusive. If something does not go the way she wants she will yell at you and make you feel bad about yourself. She talks to people like they are dogs and she does not listen. My older sister moved out of the state to get away from her because she was tired of the way my mom was talking to her. I would move out too but my grandpa is sick so I can't. My mom is always yelling at my grandpa and starting arguments with him everyday. When my mom and I get into an argument she does not allow me to talk and she is not even listening to me because she say's that I am always wrong to her. She is always telling me that I am making excuses when I try to explain something to her. Ex. Mom:Clean your room NOW!. Me:We are at the store I can't clean my room right now. Mom: Excuses! you are lying. Like wtf? She always have to be right for some reason. The other day I took my dog to the vet and I was talking to the nurse and my mom just flips out! She was yelling at the secretary next to the nurse that I was talking to. She just yells "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT?" The lady told her that she was not staring at her and my mom kept yelling at her and making her feel bad. It got to the point where the lady left and I had to apologize for my mom' behavior. Another day we were in the drive through and this guy was in line and she said he cut her off so she starts flipping him off and calling him white trash. She gets out of her fucking car and walks over to his truck screaming at him and banging on his window telling him to get out and face her. She literally followed him through the drive through and grabbed his food he bought and threw it over the fence yelling "GO FETCH WHITE TRASH!" I had to apologize to him too. My mom does not understand that what she does is wrong and that it can affect other people I'm tired of her. Advice?


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What Guys Said 2

  • sounds just like what i went threw with my mom. she needs help but she doesn't see it and doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior.
    i know its not easy living with it and knowing what to do nd how to handle it. and i'm sorry i dont have much advice on how to deal with the damage it is causing to you and your life.
    the only ting i did was when i was 15 i got my first job so i didn't have to spend much time at home. inn the end home was just a place to sleep that was it. since you have someone else to worry about (grandfather) this will not work for you.
    the only thing i can think of as a suggestion is try to be the better person and when your mom says something like you described take it with a grain of salt and think what other crazy shit will she come with and look at it as a game to figure out what it is. since she doesn't know always know what she is saying try not to take it personally or to heart
    when you do finally get a chance to move on with your life jump at the chance and dont look back. because if you dont it will never stop. it took me into my late 30's to realize that.

  • It's about setting boundaries with her. Shame on you for allowing her to talk to you that way. Only you can stop it


What Girls Said 1

  • o wow. has she always been like this? is ur grandpa her father?
    my best advice since ur grandpa is sick and u want to be with him, is to learn to not argue with her too much and let it go while just doing ur thing (cuz she is gonna yell regardless) and just talk to ur grandpa more. maybe u can vent to him about it and u both can share that. in the meanwhile, u can try to c if u can somehow get ur mom help cuz some of those outburts are just plain wrong. is it out of character for her?