I've been really sick why won't he help me out at all?

The past few days I've had a really bad sore throat and sinus problems and I couldn't stop coughing. As well as a high fever and somehow I ended up with pinkeye too. On top of all that I'm on my period too. So I've been pretty much just felt completely awful. I've still been going to work though and I work 10 hour shifts everyday. My fiance left early from his 5 hour shift because he "was tired" I get home and collapse on the couch cause I was up all night coughing and I accidentally sleep too late and wake up at 10pm and didn't get a chance to cook or do dishes. I told him he could have cooked and ate without me. But he had been on the xbox since he got home and didn't want to leave it. He said he was ok. He would really rather starve than make the effort to cook something. And I cook every night I don't know why it's a big deal. Then his mom comes by the next day unexpected and keeps saying how I need to clean the house and how bad it looks. I'm about to lose my sh*t. Why are men such babies when it comes to betting sick but expect women to suck it up
He even told me to stay away from him and I got my friend to take me to the doctor


0|0
2|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, I would like to say that I'm not like that (not all men are like that). I take great care of my girlfriend when she's sick. Sometimes I pamper her almost a little too much actually.
    Secondly, I don't think your boyfriend is an asshole as everyone else here says. I think one problem in your relationship is that there's not enough positive communication going on. For example: did you want him to cook for himself or for you? If you wanted him to cook dinner for himself, you shouldn't get upset if he decides to not cook. It's his body and his choice. My girlfriend sometimes doesn't feel very hungry and decides to only eat some cereals. I myself sometimes starve myself for the whole day for no good reason. None of us would force the other person to cook. Your boyfriend is an adult and you have to trust him to make the right decisions for himself (cuz you're his girlfriend, not his mom). However, if you wanted him to cook dinner for YOU or for the two of you, you definitely didn't say it clearly enough. This is a mistake that lots and lots of women make (including my girlfriend sometimes). Women tend to think that you can just hint on something and your boyfriend/husband will get it. In fact, he SHOULD get it in the mind of the woman. Unfortunately, this is not the case. We're all different people and what might be clear to you is not necessarily clear to your boyfriend. This is why it's incredibly important in a romantic relationship to utter your thoughts and feelings as clearly as possible. In addition, try to use as many I-messages. An I-message is a concept from psychotherapy (my mom is a therapist). Instead of phrasing things as absolute truths or commands, always emphasize your subjectivity. This way, the message doesn't come across as an attack or being bitchy. So instead of saying "Cook me some dinner!" or even worse, a passive aggressive accusations such as "Why don't you cook me dinner?" try to say something like "Sweetie, I feel really sick. It would really mean a lot to me if you cooked dinner for me/us". This is how my girlfriend and me try to communicate. A lot of long-term couples make the mistake that they lose their shyness at one point and because too much like buddies (uninhibited). In some cases, this can be counterproductive. You should also show your respect for your boyfriend, even when your sick. Of course it's understandable to get annoyed if he doesn't react but you should always make an effort to start of in kind,

    0|0
    0|0
    • polite way. The same goes for the visit at the doctor's office. I know it might sound crazy to you but the possibility that your boyfriend could give you a ride to the doctor might not even have appeared to him. That's not necessarily because he's a jerk or because he's stupid, he's simply a guy. Guys think differently in these kind of things. I've went through some of these problems with my own girlfriend until one day, I told her "look, if you want something, you need to say it straight out. No hints, no gestures or mimics, no indirect stuff, just straight out. If you want food, don't say 'arrrgh I'm so hungry'. Say: 'Sweetie, I NEED FOOD. Could you make something for me please?'" So in your case, perhaps your boyfriend simply didn't get you. Perhaps you should have been more clear about your wish for him to give you a ride. And no, this is not an accusation at you. Communication skills is something both people in a relationship have to work on and most people are not so good at it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not my BF! JUST NO!

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Sounds like a jackass... You sure you want to marry this guy when he won't even take you to the doctor when you're sick?
    :-/

    2|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like all you need to fix this is to get married and have three kids!

    0|0
    0|0
  • No not all men like that, your boyfriend is just a childish asshole simply put, like i mean we can survive without cooking thats cool no pressure her but if you're sick he should be taking care of you, preparing something for you to eat, taking you to the doctor and making sure you're comfy and also explain the situation to his mom, you just have a bitch ass for a boyfriend ( no offense ) tell him to cut the crap and be a man.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why do you want to marry someone who can't even take you to the doctor?

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm going to be blunt, fuck that arsewhole off. He obviously doesn't give a shit, last thing you need is to be lumbered with a child fathered by him, then you'll never escape! Imagine what he'd be like in the delivery room. "shh babe, keep the screaming down, trying to play on my phone-tut your so insensitive"

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...