Why can't I love someone?

and i don't want to hear its because i haven't found the right one. i've found 'the one' several times. i'm a really nice guy. i'm very atractive. i'm like a perfect guy - but someone's worst night mare to date. i've broken too many girls hearts and made so many girls cry and i don't mean to. i meet someone who ends up really liking me and making me fell great being around them - then i friendzone them. if something ends up progressing, i uncontrollably push them away - by doing everything from friendzoning them to being clinggy to calling them bad names - just plan acting up. i dont know why. i want to stop, but i cannot. i dont understand it. the last girl i really thought was the one and i ended up breaking her heart because she loved me and wanted me to love her back and i just couldn't. we got into a big fight, she gave me another chance, and that is when i realized i just can't love.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I have this deal too but I changed. I'm not sure if this is the case for you but for me, it's because I CAN'T accept love. I've gotten so used to the hatred of others and I've been mistreated badly. I push them away because I'm scared. It's true that we're afraid of things we don't know and that, for me, was love. I can love but I've never truly felt how it's like to be loved. Also, abandonment issues. I'm so scared of people leaving me so before they could, I cut them off or just leave them and say good bye because I can't deal with them walking away or prolonging their stay. I can get attach easily but if I truly get really attached then I would probably die if they left because if I let someone in, it's hard for me to let them go. I do it rarely, once in my lifetime of 16 years. Lastly, that one person I let in taught me something. Before I could truly love someone else, I need to love myself. This is the only way you can truly let someone take care of you because you finally know your true self worth. If you didn't see your importance, then who would see it too? I pushed people away because I thought I was undeserving and I still feel that way but little did I know, it just hurt both parties and the best thing to do is probably let them take care of you and be there for you, just like you should be to them too.


What Guys Said 1

  • Here is my honest opinion... I think you try to make yourself think that you are "perfect" because you are trying to cover up your insecurities. I think you dont think you deserve love, because maybe you dont love yourself so there is no way you can love someone else. Let me explain... you talk about hurting other girls and making them cry... I think you need to forgive yourself for hurting others. No one in their right mind wants to hurt another person but this is reality... we all have been hurt before. You also struggle with commitment because you friendzone them to protect yourself because you are afraid and have a mindset that this isn't going to work, so you hit the safety net of being friends to hide your fear of commitment and your own insecurities. There is something inside of you that you haven't let go of, it is was hurting a girl you liked or for making a girl cry you need to let it go. No relationship will work for you until you move on and resolve your internal issues. The reason why you start pushing them away or calling them names is you are trying to make it easier on yourself to avoid committing... sort of like finding an excuse as to why it wouldn't work. Bottom line from what I read here is you dont love yourself and you haven't let go of the past yet to be able to love someone. It is like you already are telling yourself before you live it that this relationship is going to fail, and right now unfortunately you are right because you have internal conflict that is stopping you from being the person you were meant to be. No more excuses, you may be a nice guy but you need to take time to find out what you dont love about yourself and maybe you did something you werent proud of in the past... well we all make mistakes but you need to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and move on. When you fix the internal conflict then you will be able to love another and find he right one for you. The only way the result is going to be different is if you change something about your that is holding you back from knowing love. I wish you only the best! Good luck!