Do you believe that men should also have the ability to opt out of being a parent?

As in they give up all parental rights and duties.

  • Yes, if women have a way out (abortion) then men should have a way out as well.
    40% (17)78% (59)64% (76)Vote
  • No, they should be responsible in some way for their own creation.
    50% (21)17% (13)29% (34)Vote
  • Other
    10% (4)5% (4)7% (8)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A woman can have an abortion.
    A woman can place the child up for adoption without father's consent.
    A woman can abandon a baby, and all responsibility for it, at certain safe spaces.

    If women have every opportunity, before and after birth, to choose to not be a mom, and to be allowed to walk away, no strong attached, from THEIR CREATION, then it is only fair to offer men every opportunity to do the same.

    Anyone who thinks it is immoral for a man to be aloud to refuse parenthood either must also think it is immoral for women to, or must come out and admit that they do not believe in equality, and that men must, in their eyes, be held accountable in ways a woman is not expected to be accountable.

    Options are
    1) any parents must be a parent
    2) any parent must have the right to refuse parenthood, with conditions
    3) any parent must have the right to refuse parenthood, absent conditions
    4) men must be held accountable in ways women are not, despite this inherently implying less is expected of women (full in the knowledge that a lesser expectation implies that they must be inferior, so so much burden should not be placed on them)

    equality, equality, equality, or blatant sexism. Those are the choices.
    Funny how many women accept sexism that says they are less capable, if it protects them from the consequences of their actions.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it should work like abortions do. They should get a limited period of time to decide whether to be in the kid's life or not - if they choose yes, that's something they can't get out of after tat time period is up and they have to be involved and pay maintenance. If they choose no, then they have no contact with the kid and don't pay anything. It works out fairly then.

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    • But that would require a law that would require women to actually report to the father that they where pregnant which currently doesn't happen and is not legally required thus allowign women to have the child then ask for child support later on if they so choose all the while the only reason why the man knows he is a father is because the government started taking money from him under threat of imprisonment.

    • @hellionthesage Then, logically, that law would be implemented along with this one. That wouldn't be a huge problem.

    • merely pointing out that we would have to seriously overhall our laws regarding it (and my displeasure at the complete one sidedness of it). I would agree with what you stated though I think it would have to be that she would have to prove that she notified him otherwise it would default since trusting her to notify him and having it where if he did not state he was relinquishing his rights to parenthood would by proxy still give her control over him.

What Guys Said 22

  • Yes I do, but I can't see that ever happening so I think a better solution is vasagel (male birth control shot). That would hopefully cut down the number of unplanned pregnancies, effectively eliminating the need for this discussion.

    I also think paternity testing should be mandatory at the time of birth to prevent paternity fraud.

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  • Yes, it's called using a condom, or vasectomy, or abstinence. The purpose of sex is to make children. As soon as someone has sex, they are making a choice of potential parenthood. If that's not what they want, then they shouldn't have sex, especially unprotected sex. If they do it anyway, and toss the dice, they have to deal with the consequences.

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  • Higher levels of male contraception are becoming a thing with feminists, as always, opposing it

    I do believe that paternity tests should be mandatory though. There are too many cases where a woman makes a man pay for a child that isn't his

    I think opting out should have only a few regulations, as to not be taken advantage of
    1) Deceit
    2) Man can't afford it when woman is financially stable
    3) Unusual means (Sperm stealing from condoms)
    4) Malicious intent (intent to get child support)
    5) Raped by woman

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  • Yes. Women have the choice to abort if they want, in the end they have the final decision. So if women are given the chances of opting out, men should have that choice too.

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  • No a man should not be able to have this as an option at all.. there are far to many single mothers around and most but not all were caused because the guy would not man up to his responsibility figured it was better off to run I guess.. if I got my lady friend pregnant at the time weather it was just over the course of a few dates.. or even in a long term relationship.. I would step up. even tho that if it happened right now.. I would not be able to.. but would for sure talk it over with the mother to be.. take care now

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  • Yes, before the child is born. I also think that any 'deadline' for making such a decision should come before a similar deadline' for the mother to have an abortion. This way she can make an informed choice over whether or not to raise the child by herself.

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  • No. Everyone whether male or female has a duty to their children regardless of whether or not they want them. It is the same reason why I don't believe in abortion and why I resent divorce, because inevitably one parent loses custody.

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  • Yes, please.

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  • Men should be allowed to opt out AND shouldn't be forced to pay child support.

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    • Yeah, that would go under duties.

  • Yeah I mean if women have the right to decide what's best for their body then men should have the right to decide what is best to do with their life and wallet.

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  • When men get a womb they can have an opt out. If you don't want to take any responsibility keep your dick in your pants.

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    • So why isn't the woman responsible seeing as how she chose the man she chose to have sex she chose for the man to not use a condom she chose not to use birth control herself (which of course the man cannot see most forms of and is not allowed to legally ask her ie he has to trust that she is being honest with him)? Wouldn't that means she should not be allowed to opt out either since in the end she actually made many more choices to begin with all of which affected her personally?

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    • Yes but so did she. It wasn't as if she was forced into it she chose just as he did ergo she is equally responsible. hence my confusion (still) how can we say that he is responsible solely if she did the exact same thing as he did, that is have sex unprotected by her own free will, her own volition? Why does she not have to be responsible for her actions but he does? If you said both where equally responsible that would make sense as they both did the exact same thing, if you said both had the right to opt out that would make some sense because it would fair and equal to both parties each having the same rights as the other. What you are saying is she should have the privledge to not take responsibility for her actions but he absolutely has to take responsibility for his actions. Why is she exempt? What makes it different for her that she does not have to take responsibility for an action she chose of her own free will?

  • yes, they clearly could. we live in a world where men and women are equal. so there should also be equal rights in this regard.

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  • Yes, I do.

    Most of the arguements against men having a financial abortion can be applied to women, so it is kind of funny to watch people contradict themselves.

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  • Vasectomy

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  • Yes, that should definitely be law.

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  • A strong independent woman don't need no man. Child support payments are sexist

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  • hell yeah they should be able to!

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  • Yeah, probably. I'd never ever ever do it. But in theory, yes.

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  • If the man states he doesn't want it before the child is past the abortion term, he shouldn't have to foot any responsibility. It is the woman's decision after that whether or not to keep it without a father.

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    • The problem with that is she isn't required to tell him. In fact she can keep the child with out notifying him only to years later decide she wants his money and then at that moment is he notified of paternity, when he is gettign hit with the bill and back payments and tax.

  • Men can ALWAYS use a condom if they don't want to get a girl pregnant. No law stops them. Men can also get a vasectomy.

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    • Women can close their whore legs

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    • @hellionthesage
      And will the taxpayer pay child support or SNAP then?

    • So women are not accountable for their actions in any way shape or form? A woman cannot and does not have the capacity to figure out that if she doesn't use a contraceptive then she will probably get pregnant? To answer your question I don't care, she can pay child support its her child and she chose to have sex she chose to have sex without protection and she chose to have the child and she chose not to give said child up for adoption so she can be responsible for her actions if its that big of an issue or they can share responsibility. The fact is she made a decision no different then him however you are stating the burden of responsibility ONLY falls on him and that is simply absurd. Either women are capable of making their own decisions and by extention suffering the consequences of them or they are children (as you are suggesting) in which case they should not be allowed to make decisions at all. So which one is it?

  • Yes but in this feminist world it'll never happen. I love the argument about bodily autonomy. That's 9 MONTHS vs 18 YEARS of financial servitude. I haven't given birth (then again neither have the majority of women who use this argument) but I am willing to put my body through a lot of shit if it's necessary. Also most women who want kids don't seem to mind the whole pregnancy birthing thing so it can't be THAT bad. 18 years of your life being tied down sounds worse than death and lots of people do commit suicide because of it so that should tell you something.

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    • You're being dramatic. And you don't know jack shit about the pain of pregnancy and birth, admittedly neither do I but I have a better understanding of it. Of course women who really want to have children are willing to go though it.

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    • @ShaeNielson As it turns out, during a study to see which sex has higher pain tolerance, it was discovered that neither sex had a particularly different tolerance to pain. It was examined because there was a persistent notion that women had higher thresholds of pain due to child birth, but the assumption was that child birth was the most painful experience one could have.

      Turns out a toothache can hurt more than child birth.

    • @Transigence I never claimed women have higher pain tolerances.
      The important word there is *can. A childbirth can go pretty smooth and a toothache can make you see black spots and nearly pass out, you can't compare it like that.

  • It's definitely makes it more fair. If a women can get an abortion on her own and the guy has no say, then the guy should be able to opt out of being responsible for the child without the woman's opinion.

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    • women carry the baby but men don't

    • Also it's called bodily autonomy. If you are not an organ donor, we can't force you, (even after you are dead!) to give up any part of your body to keep another alive.

    • @kittykatg So why does he not get autonomy? He has no say in the child if she has it (she can abort abandon thanks to safe haven laws or give it up for adoption without notifying him) and if he doesn't want to be a parent the woman then can choose for him to be a parent anyway, at least financially which of course is his body because he had to earn that money which costed him his labor and his time which he cannot get back. So by that reasoning he should be allowed the right to deny parentage.

What Girls Said 14

  • I think if one parent wants to keep the child then that parent should have to look after it (that means men shouldn't force a woman to have an abortion and a woman shouldn't have an abortion if a man doesn't want her to have one). And if the both agree on either having an abortion or keeping the child then that's fine.

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    • What if they can't agree?

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    • But thats the point, if they both made the same exact mistake (having sex without contraceptive) they are both equally responsible yet legally a woman has multiple ways to get out of parent hood and also legally has the power to force the man into parent hood. She can choose for herself if she wishes to be a parent and she can choose for the man if she wants him to be finacially responsible for the child (also controling how often he sees the child if he wants to be apart of the childs life) or giving the child up without his consent thus nullifing his parental rights to the child. she has all the power and he has to only hope that she will be fair (which is rarely the case).

    • We're talking about taking money from men by threat of force and imprisonment if he doesn't pay for a child he didn't want.

  • People, both men and women, already have the ability to terminate their parental rights. For example, there was a couple a year or so ago that was expecting. They learned that the child would be born with Down's syndrome and the mother knew that she wouldn't be able to care for the child the way it needed and wanted to abort it. Her husband on the other hand wanted to keep it no matter what. For his sake, she carried the baby to term, got divorced from the father and terminated her parental rights and they're all living happily ever after.

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    • Also very often men and women do just walk away without repercussions because it's more expensive to try to hunt them down to possibly get child support than it is worth or than is affordable in general.

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    • No, men do not have the RIGHT to terminate their parental responsibility. It can be done if the man, the woman, and the family court judge all agree, but only if. Women have a RIGHT to terminate their parental responsibility that is answerable to no one. Men do not.

    • I'll concede that yes it is not a legal right but that doesn't matter. Unless they were around to help raise the child and or married to the mother, it is so easy for them to leave and never paid that kid a dime

  • Men opt out of parenting all the fucking time 😂

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    • Not really, when the Child Support kicks in

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    • @smotpoke did I say it did? No.

    • Not really. Women do very frequently, hence abortion safe haven laws and adoption, all of which a man has no say in and its actually not even legally required for the mother to notify the father that he is a father let alone that she is giving up/abandoning his child. Meanwhile men are tracked down and forced to pay childsupport even if they are not able to resulting in them going to prison. so yeah legally a man cannot opt out of parenthood but a woman has many options to do so.

  • I think they should have to option to opt out any responsibilities for the child, before the mother is in her 12th week (last week for abortion) Given that he forever loses all rights to even see his child, to be on the birth certificate as the father and he has to inform the mother (by a legal document or so) before she reaches 12th week. It has to be as drastic as abortion though, the child is in no way his if he chooses to this.

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  • With all the unpaid child support, I think they've already got that covered.

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  • If you won't be able to be a parent, don't have sex. As easy as that. For guys and girls.

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  • Well, they do its called put a hat on your jimmy. Both parties are dumb and like to blame eachother. but they are both in fault we all know biology, if you nut in a vag raw she will most likely become pregnant. So you wanna opt out of pregnancy be smart and use protection. But folks are so damn dumb that they rather blame eachother than step up to responsibility.

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    • That doesn't explain why she has the right to opt out of parenthood and he doesn't.

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    • We're not talking about individuals and their level of personal responsibility. We're talking about the STATE, the LAW and how EVERYONE is treated, systemically. Not everyone has personal responsibility, so we're talking specifically about the times when people don't, and why as a society we feel the need to stick it to men but not women.

      So please tell me. Why do women have so many options to opt out of parenthood, AFTER deciding against abstinence, but men have none?

    • @Transigence... Your too angry way too angry. Why do women have so many options? history, my friend hundreds of thousands of years of women being raped, no rights to her kids or self, having to carry a child she was forced to have. Women only started getting rights in the late 1800's early 1900's. FACT is if we keep bitching like that , maybe it should be illegal to have sex out of marriage since men and women are so damn stupid. Not only are abortions hella high at 50,000 performed each year in the U. S but so are STDs super high. We are damn species.

  • if he says he does not support the decision of keeping the baby and the woman sill decides to keep it then he should not be forced into parenthood
    otherwise if they both decide to keep it but the man chances his mind or it is to late for abortion than they defently should NOT have a way out

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  • Yeah, it's called using a condom.

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    • Same goes for women though :/

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    • @hellionthesage I think you looked a little too deeply into what I said. 'Condom' was supposed to encompass all forms of contraception.. I wasn't trying to unfairly target men -_-

    • Well to be fair, that is usually how things work ie the men are to blame, as is evident in most of these comments (and others, I have had this discussion more then once). If that is the case then thats is fine, as I said my only issue is when people treat men like their assholes and women like thier children. So as long as both parties are held with equal accountability then I agree whole heartedly.

  • Hell they do it all the time 😂

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  • You can feel to opt out how much you want but at the end of the day it's still your child. Who the hell do you expect to take care of the child?

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  • They can, it's called a condom or a vasectomy or choosing not to have sex. People can also waive their parental rights as well. The problem in society in my opinion is that people think they should be removed from the consequences of their choices.

    It's not super easy to get pregnant, it actually takes a lot of things to line up perfect for it to happen. And people who are having sex should be fully aware of that possibility when they decide to have sex. Sex is fun, and I know why people want to do it. But any time a person has sex they are putting themselves at risk.

    It's easy to say that men should have a choice. But it's not so simple. Once a woman is pregnant, that seed has been planted. The issue isn't so black and white. It's definitely more grey.

    Should a woman be forced to have an abortion against her will because the man doesn't want any offspring created by them both? That's a tough call to make.

    I think the solution should be to do our best to combat unwanted pregnancies before they even happen. We all need to be more careful.

    I know so many people who say "Well gee, I shouldn't really have a kid right now, can't afford one..." But then they don't do much to prevent pregnancy.

    There are always going to be cases that fall outside of the spectrum (rape cases, and genuine birth control failure and those cases are entirely different than what I am talking about).

    But I feel like in most cases (ie. people just not practicing enough caution), if people were more careful, we would have far less unwanted children in the world and not have to worry as much about having to give up parental rights. To me, it's more the prevention that should be focussed on than the aftermath.

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    • It's not about forcing a woman to have an abortion, it's about forcing a man to pay for a child he stated he doesn't want.

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    • Men do not have the RIGHT to waive their parental responsibility, but women do! Men can only waive responsibility if the woman and family court judge agree.

      No, a woman should not be forced to have an abortion, but she is the ONLY person who can decide to bring the child into the world, and so responsibility solely lands on her. If I give you the keys to my car, and you go get drunk and crash it, should I alone be sent to jail for drunk driving because I gave you the key?

      All men can do is give women a succession of 4 choices that they have to decide all in one way to have a child. A man cannot make a woman become a parent.

      If you want to force men to pay child support, then it's only fair to make women who give up their child for adoption pay the adoption agency (or the city if they use abandonment) child support for the next 18-25, at threat of force, or go to jail (with loss of business and drivers licenses -- just like we do to the men).

    • @Transigence Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but wouldn't waiving parental rights waive your responsibility towards financial support as well? I don't live in the states so I'm not sure what exactly it;s like there.

      I feel if someone gives up their parental rights, then no they shouldn't have to pay for the child. No where in my response did I say that. I was talking more about people being careful about creating life. I know so many guys who knowingly sleep with women who they deem to be 'crazy' and unstable, without using protection. They say the woman says she is using bc. But YOU CAN NEVER DEPEND ON THAT! Then a child is created...

      To me that is also a problem.

  • men and women should be careful not to create a life if they dont want the responsibility rather than just *opt out*. I can understand some special cases (rape etc) but all the others just be responsible of your actions

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    • So both men and women should own up to it and take responsibility?

    • @hellionthesage is the obvious and right thing to do

    • It is, unfortunatley its also rarely the common opinion hence me asking. Its kind of shocking really, I am not disagreeing mind you in fact I fully agree with it, its just you don't hear people say that kind of thing very often hence me just wanting to clarify that I did read it correctly.

  • Yes definitely

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