Is it completely irrational that I haven't talked to someone about this?

On one hand it feels important to open up to those who trust and believe in me, but on the other I feel unable to mention this to anyone because it really is part of me.

I don't want to make this question long and boring... so I'll make a summary:

I liked this girl, really liked her, and I eventually blocked her out my life because I thought it would help me move on. It hasn't... even after 2 years (almost 3)... I feel the same way for her. I've had other relationships in the mean time, but even during them I was still think of this one girl (M).

I've never spoken to anyone about the details. People know about her and I and the things we shared, but I've never been able to divulge everything.

I saw a counsellor last summer to help me through a rough patch, but I didn't even have the guts to tell him...

What's wrong with me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Going through the same exact thing right now. I tried cutting him out of my life to help me move on, but I only found myself missing him more, wondering how he is doing, wishing I could tell him how I felt, etc.
    I'm slowly starting to realize and let it soak in... we just weren't meant to be. I'm slowly starting to see his flaws, losing interest. Some days are good, and some days are just terrible. I find myself in a mess, wishing that things could go back to the way things were. If he wanted to be a part of my life, he would have made an effort. He obviously does not care as much as I do, and I am wasting my time on him while he is busy enjoying life. This applies to you as well, I'm sure you relate.

    We're still young and have still yet to meet so many other people. She isn't the ONLY one who can make you feel the way you did. I know its hard and easier said than done to just move on already, but you have to eventually. If it helps, you need to speak to her. Open back up to her, reach out, and tell her how you feel exactly. This is REALLY hard to do, but it will help you let go. Because you've bottled up your feelings, telling her will at least help you feel free and will also allow for closure. I am planning on doing this soon as well. I may sound like an idiot and deeply regret it as I might ruin things between us, but I want to at least become sane once again and quit thinking about him finally. I need to move on because it is eating me up, as it is for you. Nothing is wrong with you at all. You don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to, but it will help a lot. I always tell my friends how I feel, and they give me the best advice I can. I may not follow it, but I do listen of course.
    The best benefit is letting it all out, feeling the stress and pressure release. The best cure is telling her what is going through your mind. She may reject you, and hurt you again, but at least you let it out. It's the first step to moving on for real this time. Because I learned the hard way, blocking someone out of your life is a temporary fix.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well maybe the girl isn't right for you, and deep down you know it wouldn't be in your best interest to pursue her... maybe

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  • I think you fell in love with the idea of her, not actually her. Sometimes when we have failed relationships we create scenarios in our heads that are ideal and maybe you use this girl as your perfect relationship ideal. People can be completely different in relationships than they are as friends or aquiantences. You simply don't know if she is the end all be all of girls, you need to move on. You'll never have a successful relationship with this in the back of your mind.

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  • Why did you have to move on?

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  • Are you embarrassed about it?

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What Guys Said 1

  • Here's the simple answer. You are the type of guy that falls into the cycle of one-itis. People like you NEED to talk to many girls at once. If you don't... well you get too attached to one and this sort of thing happens. The bigger problem is that this attachment only exacerbates the issue. When a girl detects desperation (which you are blatantly giving off) she will run for the hills. I think many women will agree with me that desperation is the biggest turn off.

    The solution is to talk to MANY girls at once. This divides your attention, making you less susceptible to this sort of behaviour, which is irrational I might add. Thinking about one girl for 3 years is bordering on mental instability.

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