I'm always in a constant state of change whether it be physically or mentally but every once in a while I get in a comfortable spot and when the time comes to move on again it's usually met with dismay and a unwillingness to do so.
So in the past couple months I started changing again (my appearance mainly... well that is the most noticeable besides the slump of depression I fell into because of some personal things that occurred - so yeah, my mind has been changing as well) BUT I went from attracting the wrong type to nothing at all since I've started the change and I find myself just becoming more and more frustrated... Because nobody likes making changes and not seeing different results or even worse negative effects.
I feel like I'm jumping through hoops for people (both women and men) and the moment I realize this I usually stop because my pride won't let me continue but it's usually met with the attitude by the other person that feels like "well I never cared anyway, I just wanted to see how many you'd jump through" which is just as upsetting or more because if I didn't care I wouldn't have even bothered in the 1st place & I just get hung up on it in the end anyway.
I think one of the biggest problems is that what I find sexually attractive and mentally attractive are on opposite spectrums - it's like I want to date a librarian who is very opinionated/informed but moonlights as a stripper on the weekends - so I'm conflicted.
I'm also getting sick of being the one who has to carry the conversation with most of the people I talk to it's like I might as well talk to a wall if all I'm getting is vapid responses with minimal effort after pouring out my soul. I don't know what to do, I'm just sick of being angry & frustrated all the time. And I feel myself just becoming more and more antiwoman which is an ugly attitude for anyone to have. I don't know if there is any worthwhile advice to be given after my rambling but if you can I'd like to hear it...
Most Helpful Girl
I'm not sure... I sure am a person who is pretty on my own, people know that and I usually am left alone. But it's those real close friends who I've known for years, like they are Family, who would just message me out of the blue, just to check up on me, and me doing the opposite.
But it feels like I've grown apart with the rest, because we all went our own ways to chase our ambitions.
Just remember that there are people worth talking to, even if you have to message first. I'm one of those people who usually doesn't message first, but those close friends don't seem to mind. Once the chat started, we have a good time :)
Don't start hating on women :p Just some people can be like that, doesn't matter the gender. Keep meeting new people, making new friends, if you want it to change, you fight0