Most Helpful Girl
Yes , sadly. I've been diagnosed with depression ever since i was 12 years old and i am still depressed :( i even have a suicide note and i planned how i'm gonna do it but, i always chicken out because 1.) i've always been scared of death and i don't wanna know where the heck it's gonna take me since i'm not religious 2.) my family. They love me soooo much and they'd die without me i couldn't do that to them. Really those 2 are the only reasons i haven't killed myself yet. Guess i just have to keep holding on..1
Most Helpful Guy
Yep. Was in a coma for two weeks when I was 21. So, 4 years ago. Took about 112 grams of Deadly Nightshade root (overkill) in the form of a very black tea. Experienced fear that was so pure and concentrated that it transcended fear and became something entirely else. All I remember is just screaming and screaming and screaming: and ambulance lights. Then I blacked out, woke up 2 weeks later, off to rehab for a month. Which was pretty awesome, actually. All I did was read and smoke cigarettes and get buzzed off the opiates they prescribed me for my intubation. That shit tears your throat up, that tube they stick in. Ugh. When they rip it out, hurts like a mother fucker. And the catheter. Fucking ow.
112 grams is a lot. 1-5-10 grams or something would kill a grown man. Children have been known to eat a couple of the berries and die. The root is much more concentrated with the poisons than the berries, namely atropine. Guess they got the antidote in time. They even fucked up at first, too, I'm told, and gave me liquid charcoal, which is typical for people who have taken dangerous chemicals or alcohol poisoning. Only thing is, poisons require antidotes. What idiot doctors. And they still won.
Sometimes I think I did actually die, and this is some kind of identical alternate world or some celestial test. Or that I'm still in the coma, and my reality is just a conjuration of my mind.
'course I've been on death's door a couple other times, but those weren't suicide attempts. I could have just shot myself in the temple, but I'd seen too many failed suicides by gun. Really didn't want brain damage if I failed. Knew a guy who fucked it up. He was... well.
And hanging is just undignified. Chemicals are my thing, I guess. Also, I thought it was kinda poetic. Being killed by Atropa "the Goddess of Fate" Belladonna "a beautiful woman". I was going to make it even more poetic and just grow my own death, but I decided that'd take too long. Although. I couldn't see very well when I woke up. Luckily, my eyesight came back perfectly 20/20. That woulda sucked.
I severely underestimated the power of the plant. I took some sedatives, planning to just pass out then never wake up. But the trepidatious fucking agonizing fear, throat so dry felt like I'd been in the desert for a couple weeks without water, room spinning. No way I was sleeping through that. Just didn't use enough sedative, I guess.0