How does this poem sound (I wrote it)?

It's called Heart of the Storm

Water droplets fall from cloud 9
Splashing her delicate
Eyes open glaring anger
Her window is fogged
Rain falls in rivers

She rushes out into the storm
Her anger full
Her hatred raw
She realizes
She's been asleep her entire life
Never to awaken to the reality

Her thoughts pound
In sync to thunder
Her heart beats
Hotter than the lightning

With open arms and
A smile begininng
Rain trickles down her face

It doesn't weigh her down
She doesn't sink to her knees
It's delicate embrace
Her body warm and floating

Rain soaks her
Not chilled to the bone
But her skin sizzles
She revels in it

She's finally awake

(Please be honest with judgement but keep in mind I've always been bad at poems and I haven't written a poem in over a year)


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Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • Good poem, although it has a few grammatical errors.

    You remind me of myself when I was your age, I was into writing poems and songs!
    As you can see there's still a writer in me because I come up with take after take, some of which include stories.

    Follow your dream!
    I know you want to be a writer, you'll be a great one if you continue at it.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Not bad,
    Yeah I want to write for a living and I'm damn good but poems are in ways far more similar to music than a story

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  • saw cloud9 +1
    c9 is the best cs team in my opinion

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    • lol woops I didn't know
      I literally thought of the name over and over again till I chose that when I was in the car

    • Lol relax it's some bullshit knockoff 2004 TV show movie that just wasn't successful. OH WELL

  • It's always been my thinking that the only person who can judge a poem is the author. Trust yourself and the rest will follow.

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  • You may want to review your school literature book about

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    • Dammit, sent too early. *review about different forms of meter, since this poem seems to observe none. Also, though this may sound blunt or prickish of me, try to put some kind of meaning behind it; the best poems are the ones that tell a story, teach a lesson, or communicate an idea in an unusually profound. All I got from this was some girl tripping on acid and waking up angry in a storm, or something.

    • She didn't literally wake up
      I was trying to convey that the rain 'opened her eyes' or 'woke her up' to the way life is

  • What is it supposed to mean?

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    • A girl uses the rain to 'open her eyes' to the way life really is

    • Hmm, if that's the intention, there is nothing that hints towards her epiphany of "the truth" (which truth exactly is also left unsaid)

What Girls Said 2

  • the figurative meaning is nice
    like how rain awakens her and all
    but there is no musicality, rhythm or tone in it
    doesn t need to have rimes but still

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  • It sounds really awesome!

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