How do I not give a flying f***/stop caring so much about everything and everyone?

I'm someone who has too good of a heart. I give too much, love too much, care too much, Im too nice, too kind, too caring, I trust too much and easily. And they say having a good heart like mine is a really good thing but it's terrible for me. It doesn't do any good for me. I feel like my life would be better and feel better if I didn't have a good heart. But it's how my heart is, who I am and such. How do I change all of this? Please and thank you
P. S. I'm also a really emotional and sensitive person


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Join the "Kirito is Always Right Foundation"?
    "A quantum supercomputer calculating for a thousand years could not even approach the amount of fucks I do not give"

    I used to be like that too. I was real considerate and concerned about other people. But then I noticed that people are idiots, and being the nice guy got me literally no where. All the assholes and dirt bags got the winnings while I get to scrape barnacle off a ship's hull. (figuratively) So I just naturally started to not care anymore. When I did care I was taken for granted, but when I said "Nope" I became the bad guy. So keep your friends real close, and everyone else on the other side of the mine field.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I get where you're coming from, I've been there. I've had the conversation with an ex about how he can't get over an ex because she treated him terribly, how men always fall for girls who treat them like crap and I've been told I try too hard, forgive too easily and love too much. It truly is a curse.
    All you can do is try to channel it into hobbies or activities that need heart. I do a lot of animal rescue for example. You could volunteer to spend time with kids or old folks who need someone just like you in their life. You could fill your life up with many friends to spread your energies and not focus too much on one person or situation. Or you could just be hurt so many times you become hard and bitter and it stops mattering. That last one should be avoided but it's sadly the end result for a lot of 'too nice' girls.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I know exactly how you feel. I am always at odds with my own better nature, it seems, and think that if I were a bit more callous and self-centered I would be a little better off. But I've tried shutting off my good nature, and it isn't easy. And to be perfectly honest I don't think it's really worth it in the long run.

    Instead of rejecting your good heart, try to find a balance between selfless and selfish. From what I can tell, you're in need of some much needed selfishness to balance out that good nature. Take a trip by yourself, buy yourself something nice, do something for you and only you without any consideration to others. Be a little more selfish than you've been, but don't just go and do a 180, otherwise your good nature will start to feel neglected.

    There's no shame in having a good heart, but always take the time for yourself. And if need be, be a cruel heartless bastard/bitch every now and again if the situation calls for it.

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  • I get you :( I am like you.
    Wear an alter ego, make it you.
    Be who you want. Don't give a fuck, be crude, be free of your emotions. Its like a filter, don't let your emotions pass through this alter ego, and don't let anyone inside this alter ego. Keep your insides and outsides separated. If one gets hurt, the other shouldn't be affected.

    Soon it will become such an integral part of your that it will come off naturally. Just don't let your emotions overpower it ;)

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  • there is really no way to change that without changing who you are. and if you try i have a feeling you will be even more unhappy in the long run

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  • You are who you are and you're a good person. Why change? We need more people like you if you are indeed genuinely caring and loving.

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    • I feel like it's not good for/on me and because of it I'm constantly being destroyed and it causes A LOT of sadness, depression, stress, etc. It's no good

  • You can't you're a pussy and have no confidence.

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  • Suuuhh dude

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  • Well, you can only be who you are.

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  • Dear, I'm with you. In your story. You're not alone I'm always there with you.

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  • You need to understand that what these people say... doesn't really matter to you. It's irrelevant to you. You need to realise that they aren't worth your time. They aren't important. I was raised that way, but I'd probably be like you if I wasn't. You kind of need to be desensitised to it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't you dare change yourself. The world needs more of you. People who care and feel with all of their heart and soul. Embrace that.

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