Has anyone ever been so depressed and not done anything?

Boyfreind is depressed I would say. He can't find a job and a few other things are getting to him. He has not done anything in awhile besides with his family. He has not wanted to hang out or do anything. Sometimes it gets to me and I don't know how to help him. I love him so much and just wish i could see him. He sits in his room playing video games all day/ night and for the past 2 days I haven't really talked to him besides a few texts back and fourth or he takes forever to answer. How do I get him out of this state. I had bought him tickets to a baseball game for this upcoming Monday as an Easter present. I haven't seen him so have not been able to give them to hi. I thought maybe it could be something to get his mind off things forawhile and have some fun. He hasn't even wanted to have sex. The other night i wanted to and was on my way over his house and then he said he wasn't so sure if he was up to it. He said he was sorry and called himself an a-hole. I know things will get better, he has a good job for the summer, and I am here for him, I do not know what else to do. I really miss seeing him and want to start doing things again with him. Has anyone ever been this depressed? If so how did you over come it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That is a bummer, what we think about can totally affect our mood and overall disposition, if he is healthy no physical issues then help him zero in on the real problem if you can identify a specific issue like can't find a job, why? look at the jobs he is applying for then look at the method he is using then develop a plan... if it's something else then use the same approach, ask open ended questions, like... you sound bummed what are you worried about? Oh, school, I get that which subject are you thinking about and so on... drag him out of the room too...

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    • He is very healthy person. I have given him a job posing I have found and just recnetly found another that I will send to him soon. I am trying to help him with that too but I dont want to come over as pushy, but I dont thik I am. I try i ask him to go out a lot or just watch a movie he always says he is not having a good day etc. Sometimes I just want to show up at his house and drag him out but he lives with his mom so I don't know if that would be weird or he would get mad or he might even appreciate it since I am his girlfriend. Like i said i got him baseball tickets so i am hoping to be able to gove them to him and we can go to get his mind off things

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    • bring a pizza, vanilla bean ice cream and root beer...

    • Haha good idea!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been dealing with depression for 10 years. On and off I've been to counsellors, psychologists, been on about 5 different medications. Sometimes in the past I would be feeling so depressed that I didn't have the will to do anything about it. My depression is constant but the intensity of it fluctuates. It always there so I've gotten to the point where I can somewhat keep going with life.

    I think the best thing to do for your boyfriend is to support him, and try to get him some help. Don't force it on him, but getting contact information for suicide hotlines in your area or finding someone he can talk to can help a lot.

    If it does come to a point where he might be planning suicide, that is the time to get him the help whether or not he wants it.

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    • Thanks! He is not to that point, but if it ever comes ti that then def will. I guess he's just at the fact that he is having a hard time finding a job and not being able to support himself a lot and then having me, he probably wants to be able to take me out etc, but thats not the case. I do not need that and if I wanted to go out, Id take him out. We usually take turns paying anyway. I am there for him it just sucks when he stays in his room all day, or goes out with his family but doesn't go out or hang with me or any of our other friends. Its sad but I hope eventually he will snap out of it and find something.

What Guys Said 8

  • yeah, i just laid in bed and just fucking laid there.

    it took me like a day to tell myself i gotta get my shit together, so i got up, did some pull ups on my pull up bar, ate pizza, and fucking went out.

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  • Depression makes you not want to do anything! You know something's wrong but you simply cannot muster the enthusiasm to do anything about it, because you've also convinced yourself that you're worthless and deserve to be miserable.

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    • Yeah, I think thats where he is. I am thinking he thinks that he can't afford much and can't even take me out, which I am in no way asking him to do anything of that matteer. someone told me that when guys are like that , it messes with their manly hood. Like they want to be able to support their partner etc.

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    • Yea, I have suggested quite a few times but nothing. Eventually he will accept. I hope we can go to what I planned on Monday, doing this maybe he will get in a better mood even just for those few hours and then I will tell him that Id like to see him more even if we just hangf out at home etc. It will get better my insecurities get to me sometimes but I love him and i am not giving up.

    • Best of luck to both of you. Don't pressure him too much, be there for him as much as you can and if that fails, you might need to nudge him towards professional help.

  • I have
    Tell him how you feel,
    His self esteem is very low at this point
    Tell him how much you love him and miss him.
    Tell him why you are concerned about him

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  • I make a timetable for a week. I get out of my house at 5am and return only at 9 pm. go to the beach for running and study general knowledge or current world situations. 1 week after I'll become totally normal. it's the lack of motivation. get him to join a job. I'm 30 yr and jobless. I can understand.

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  • I have, but I still am. Only I can't even get a girlfriend so I am all alone in this. It will probably stop for me one day when I blow my fucking brains out...

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  • I'm basically this guy all the time

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  • Yeah I have, you just need to get the right job that you can deal with and just having a job at least gives you purpose besides money, that's pretty much the only way since he already has you as a girlfriend otherwise he will just stay in this rut until he gets a job

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    • Yeah, he has me but I have not seen him for awhile. He has a summer job that hasn't started yet but needs something to hold him over until then. I guess the fact that he is having a hard time with money is dragging him down. When I was over his house about a month ago his mom left money on his bed and she told him it is to hold him over, and he tried to goive it back to her. I guess that he doesn't want to take handouts and wants to be able to support etc. I am not giving up or leaving him by any means. I love him and will wait but it is really hard. I try to get him out but it dioesnt work

    • Only he can actually do it, something just has to tell him to snap out of it and do something with himself

    • You are right!! He apologizes to me for being a complete mess, but Im not yelling at him or anything I am very understanding with him and do not want him to become more depressed if If i was mad or whatever. He is trying his hardest. I do have something fun pplaned for Monday that was his Easter present but he doesn't know that yet. So I will tell him that. Hopefully he will snap out of it soon.

  • Howz that being depressed? Lol

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What Girls Said 4

  • EVERY SINGLE DAY!

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  • Yes I have and I did nothing about it until I hit rock bottom. When that happened I started going to therapy. Things haven't changed much yet but I guess "im sightly better".
    The best thing you can do is suggest he sees a professional. If he really is depressed, there's not much you can do on your own.

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  • Is he also drinking that causes depression too. And sitting in the house all day is depressing he needs to get out more and may need medicine for it depending on the chemical imbalance. He should go to his dr and he may need some therapy. What does his mom think? Good luck it's hard I had to leave a depressed guy his also was worse due to drinking a 12 pack a day and he lived in a basement he needs to go back to therapy. Nothing more I could do for him👌🏾

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    • No, he's not drinking I mean the ocassional beer but nothing more. Im not about ready to leave him, but I just wish I could see him or he would want to sgo out and do stuff. Im not sure what his mom thinks as I have not seen her recently either. It just sucks that something like this could get someone so depressed. Like I said i am not giving up on anything just eidsh I could drag him out

    • Well make sure u let him know u are there for him if he needs to talk. Stay in touch w him. I was w my guy for seven years and it wasn't getting better but he really has a drinking problem so different issues!! But stay in his corner hopefully he will tell u what's bothering him. Try to help him get a job men value themselves by their job and or amount of money they have.. Send him happy cards that will brighten his day. Good luck!!!

    • THANKS! Yes I totally get the whole job and worth thing. Its really getting to him. I know about a month ago we went to his house and on his bed his mom left him some money. HGe tried to refuse it but she said it was to hold him over. So i can def see the whole wanting to earn the money himself and be able to pay for things. When we go out we uually take turns paying but I dont mind paying or even staying in if he even wanted that. We haven't been together that long, but I am in his corner and send him good morning texts with kisses etc even if he takes hours to respond or look at them I still send them. I will also ask if he will go out tonight just to try and see.

  • Depressed yes
    Not done anything? No, because the depression wouldn't go away

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