How long does it take for you to actually feel the "chemistry"?

Sometimes i have a crush and feelings for someone right away (extremely rarely and is more then likely just lust or because they remind me of something or someone) but other times it takes a while. i have to reallyy know the person. but if it takes a while, then something just feels off and i feel unhappy.
i've been talking to this guy for about 3 weeks, and he's a really good guy. he's very considerate, he always compliments me, goes out of his way to see me, cooks for me, pays for me, and always tries to make sure im having fun when we hang out. and on top of that, he's really attractive, tall, and has a nice body. i love all these things about him, but i dont know how i feel about him. its like there's just no real connection or something? i dont feel that excited when i see him. the other day we basically just watched tv and cuddled all day, it was really nice (i like staying in sometimes and just cuddling sometimes, plus it was raining which was just perfect) but i dont know i just dont feel that close to him i keep thinking its because i just dont know him too well yet, but is that really why?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Short answer: It can be a moment or 30 years. If it happens it happens but you will know.

    I haven't felt any chemistry in a long time. the last 5 girls i have dated, there was nothing there. we did similar things, cuddle watch tv, go on dates, etc
    but it was lacking that magic, that feeling where all you can think about is that other person.

    Everytime you see them your heart races and get excited even after dating for years. You want to text them whenever you are free, you surprise her with her favorite lindt chocolate truffles, a boquet of lilies or just notes. Every time you are with them you never want to leave. Every time you smell their hair (herbal essences shampoo) it makes you sigh.

    When you go to sleep separately and you stare at your ceiling for 2 hours before waking them up at 1 am to talk until the sun rises...

    Love and chemistry happens when a million little things come together and you realize how blessed you are to have been brought to this earth just to share your time with that special someone

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It could take anywhere from instantly to about a month. Anymore than that is a bit iffy if I truly like them or not.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I compartmentalize girls quickly. Friend zone, potential dates, etc. So very, very quickly for me in my opinion. Seriously like 10 minutes - 2 weeks I could probably determine if I am interested in dating them or not.

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    • well yeah, to me its not always that hard to figure out who i want to date. for example if the guy isn't physically attractive in my opinion, not happening. if his energy feels weird, nope. if he's into completely different or weird things, im good. if he clearly just wants sex, i tell him to keep it moving. but then there are guys (like him) who are attractive, considerate, respectful, interesting, funny, and so on, who seem perfect. but then i just dont feel any excitement so i feel like i should move on, but then it seems stupid to let someone like that go so its just really hard to decide and i figure i should wait some more before making the decision

  • It me took me 2 weeks. social chem sucked, sexual chem. Off the charts. I got rid of her later.

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    • yeah its annoying when its one or the other.

    • I have her a year, she refused. Asked her why she refused talk. To sum it up, she don't know. Oh well. yeah it does get annoying. In your mind your like - some day... Some day...-

  • Don't know
    But I feel like
    I want her
    I need her
    I wanna talk to her everytime
    And just her , her and her 💁

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What Girls Said 2

  • Till Monday 3rd class, or Thursday 3rd class. 😏

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  • Do you find him attractive? I think personal chemistry is easier to work out than trying to force sexual attraction.

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    • I know you said he's attractive - but do you feel attraction TO him?

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