My boyfriend wants to go on on my vacation, but I'm not quit ready for that yet?

So my boyfriend and I have been dating, maybe 2 or 3 months, its been a little rocky, but we worked on it. Next summer, I want to go back to my hometown in CT. He wants to go, the thing is I'm not ready to share a hotel room with him or to travel with him long distances. He's also my co-worker, so I'm still treading very likely. He says he's in love with me and has been since he first met me when I started working there a couple years ago. I'm just not ready to share a bed or room. And I don't know how to say it without hurting his feelings. I've tried coming up with excuses like "I'm a pillow hog, I need to have a radio on while I sleep, and I keep my room like an ice box." He responds "I love cold rooms! And I think having a radio on while sleeping is relaxing, and I'll just get new pillows." I know he prefers to fly, and I don't, so I said I was taking a train and he said "I don't mind taking a train sweetie." I know last year he tried talking me into going to vegas with him, this was before we were dating and I didn't believe he liked me." I don't know what else to say without hurting his feelings.


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What Guys Said 1

  • No excuses needed: a 'no' or 'not yet' or 'later' are ENOUGH.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You said this is next summer, not the one just coming up? That is a long time away to worry about this issue if that's the case. See where you two are closer to that date and then decide if you are still having issues with him traveling with you.

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  • Before you tell him no, next summer is a whole year away, so are you sure that you won't have changed your mind about not wanting him to go with you by then? If you're sure that you won't change your mind, the best option is to explain to him in person one day that long trips are very stressful for you as it is and that you've always gone alone. That you wouldn't even let a best friend of yours come along with you in the past. (A little white lie never hurt anyone.) And that asking him not to come has nothing to do with how you feel about him or how much you want him in your life. Say that maybe way down the road, you will warm up to taking someone else along, but until then, it's always been just you and it needs to stay that way for next summer.

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    • I'm pretty sure I won't change my mind. I'm not ready to share a bed or have sex or anything like that. He's already been talking marriage, about how I will be a good wife to him someday.

    • My boyfriend was the same way to be honest. At around 3 months together, he was saying that he loves me and wants to marry me. I wasn't sure about whether I loved him or not at the time and I certainly wasn't sure about marrying him! So I told him that it takes me a while to warm up to someone and that I'm not ready to make that kind of commitment so early on in the relationship. He got really depressed and said that he wouldn't date a girl if he didn't intend to marry her. (I was his first girlfriend.) I'm still with him now, almost 2 years later, and I do love him and do plan to marry him, contingent on him finishing college and getting employment. He says he's loved me from the very beginning and just knew I was the one and I honestly have no reason to doubt what he's saying, but I could never be so sure like that. Now I'm much more sure though. Maybe you and your boyfriend are going through a similar situation and he just knows that you are the one for him and over time, you will warm up to it.

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