I'm a naturally shy girl, and I don't want to be. I mean, some of my friends are so out there and I want to be like that. But I can never find that boldness within myself. How can I overcome my shyness and fear of embarrassment? What do I do? I want to make more friends and I want to make people laugh, but I just get so scared about talking to new people or in front of a lot of people. Help!
Most Helpful Guy
Start going to Walmart when it very crowded and screaming "HELP ME, I'VE JUST POOPED MY PANTS!" You'll loosen up in no time.0
Most Helpful Girl
I feel that. Up until last year, I was so shy no one hardly noticed me. I went through a fairly depressing freshman year of high school with just a few friends and nothing that even resembled a love life. The summer after freshman year, I decided I was going to make a change - and it worked. Sophomore year I was asked to both homecoming and prom (different guys), found my way into multiple friend groups, and even gained some leadership positions I wouldn't even have dreamed of applying for the year before.
The first thing I worked on was feeling physically confident because, shallow or not, that makes a huge difference. I had always loved a confident, free-spirited look, so I saved up some money and bought a few new outfits that made me feel like a million bucks. I swapped my glasses for contacts, experimented with hairstyles until I found one that I loved, figured out how to actually put on makeup successfully, and worked out a bit.
I started getting more into music and let that help me define my personality. One thing that may sound stupid but really helped was picking a "theme song" - a song that sort of describes who you want to be or just something that makes you feel confident. Mine ended up being "Wild Child" by Kenny Chesney. I didn't really try to do it, it just happened - I would always picture myself as the girl I wanted to be when I listened to that song, and it happened that whenever I put my earbuds in and listened to it I would become her.
This may not work for everyone, but being a girl who likes to write, I actually wrote down what I wanted to be. But I didn't write down "I want to be confident and free-spirited." I wrote down "I am confident and free-spirited." This truly sounds cheesy, but putting it down in words actually helped.
It was difficult at first when school started, but I made it a goal to step outside of my comfort zone. When I had something to say, I told myself I would say it. It didn't always work - but it did a few times, and those few times made all the difference. Once you get a little bit out of your comfort zone, it's so much easier to keep going because you'll see the difference. When friends laugh at your jokes or a guy shows interest in you for the first time, it's an amazing and encouraging feeling.
Whew. So that was a lot. I apologize if I ended up sounding like a self-help book, but it's an amazing feeling looking back on how far you've come and I've been waiting to share that with someone.0