In Christianity is it okay to avoid the person you forgive?

is it okay to avoid and ignore that person because you just don't want to have anything to do with them since u don't trust their actions and don't want to be hurt again & naturally can't stand the look of their face?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe this will help. Courtesy of Pastor Jakes. I'm not really religious but I grew up around it and have quite a bit of knowledge about it. It is ok to remove someone from your life if they are causing you harm emotionally and spiritually.

    www.tdjakes.com/.../5-reasons-it-s-ok-to-cut-someone-out-of-your-life

    2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
    2 Timothy 3 : 2-5

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, sometimes you won't see that person ever again (or you're not likely to). You can forgive them in your heart and pray for them though. I've noticed that that seems to help me.

    Have you offered this person forgiveness? Like have you told them that? And have you been sincere? If so, then it would be understandable why you would want to do that for a time. At some point though, you would do well to humble yourself and at least open doors for healing and reconciliation with this person/these people.

    This means that if they approach you, then you should be open to dialoging with them. It also means though that you might consider going to THEM and saying "we need to talk about this." Why? Because if you cut the person out of your life completely, you might still feel the bitterness about whatever happened. You'll feel anger and resentment building and you won't be at peace. Consider how that could bring disharmony into your other relationships.

    I was in Confession once and I told the priest about some bitterness and grudges that I was dealing with. He told me that "if you hold a grudge against others, God will hold a grudge against you." By forgiving the person AND removing the grudge, you will allow yourself to look at the situation and everything that has happened since then and see what kind of good has come from it.

    I'm not saying this would all happen overnight. It's taken me several months to come to terms with the things that I've dealt with even recently and get into a position where I can see the graces and mercies that have come from the situations. However, I'm now at a point where I am more ready and willing to either ask for forgiveness or be the first to extend it, even though it has not been asked of me.

    I'm not sure what church you belong to, but I would really recommend that you read the Diary of Saint Faustina, even if you're not Catholic (which I am). That has had a profound impact on my own spiritual life and I'm only halfway done with it.

    Just a few things to think about.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Forgiving people means you don't hold a grudge against them, and you can let go of the hurt they caused you. You wish them no harm. It doesn't mean to have to associate with them and trust them again.

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    • thank you too

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    • it just doesn't make sense why Christian retreats or pastors encourage us to pray to God for blessings and happiness for that matter

    • That's why it's important to get to know God and know what he expects of you

  • of course, as long as you have made peace with the situation in your heart and you don't hate them.

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    • u are saying this as per Christianity, right?

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    • glad to give u company... yeah we're only human and its not easy but we try our best

    • definitely. =]

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes Its OK as Long As. You Don't hate the person. Just move on with your life. Your salvation is way more important than relationships with other people.

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