Tough men (and tough women), how can I stop being a pussy?

My whole life I have been an absolute wuss. A pushover. An insect. And now, I am finally sick of it.

I am sick of crying when I get angry. I am sick of shaking at the mere thought of a fight. I am sick of everyone pushing me around and thinking they can do whatever the fuck they want with me without consequence. I am sick of running away when my friends need me to help them defend themselves. I am sick of going absolutely nowhere in life because I am really afraid of social interaction. I am fucking sick of it all, and I just want to be independent and, you know, be able to save my own ass. Overall, I am sick of being a timid, wet noodle.

How did you help yourself get out of this situation, If you have been? How did you help someone else, or how would you? Any tips or anything at all, will be appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • One thing to realize is that people universally want to be accepted and admired. If you accept and admire yourself you're one step closer to others doing the same, but that's not even my main point.

    If someone is mean to you, don't be nice to them. They don't deserve the time and effort. If someone puts in no efforts for you and your friendship, don't give it to them. If someone disrepects you, don't respect them. Mainly don't give them that power and they can't take it from you. People will still like you even if they don't get to boss you around.

    It's food for thought anyways.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You just have to force yourself to do things that scare the shit out of you. There are two ways you can do this:

    1) take small steps in difficulty
    2) throw yourself in at the deep end

    For number 1, list things that scare you in order from least scary to most scary. With social interaction that could be anything from making small talk with an old lady at the bus stop to asking a hot girl out on a date. Start from the bottom and work your way up. Each step will give you a little boost in confidence towards the next one, as you push further and further out of your comfort zone. Or you could just go straight to the top one - the harder but faster way, you'll probably get shot down of course, but then you'd realise that nobody died and everybody will soon forget about it, that nobody cares and that it's no big deal. That advice goes for everything, girls, making friends, being more assertive.

    Now for the physical confrontation stuff - lift weights or do some calisthenics, and learn a martial art. A good one like boxing, muay Thai, mma, krav maga, something where you spar and get used to getting hit in the face. Again your first session will probably be scary, but the more you do it and the better you get at it the more confident you'll become.

    In real life confrontations everybody gets that shaky feeling, even experienced fighters. That's what's called the "fight or flight response", the shakes aren't from fear, they're from the rapid release of adrenaline into your bloodstream, which gives you a boost of strength and increases your pain tolerance. The trick there is to act, once you've thrown that first punch the shaky feeling goes away and also when you get hit back, then all you're thinking about is knocking his head off. The best way to get used to that is to have real fights once you're competent. Sparring doesn't create the same response because it's very safe and the other guy isn't trying to knock you out, so get into some actual fights once you're ready. Then once you've fought trained fighters a random guy on the street won't intimidate you anywhere near as much.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I faked confidence and let my humor shine to keep people at bay, and realized quick that most people are 90% cowards. If you don't back down or act like you don't care, you always win.

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    • This opinion opened my eyes a bit. Most of my friends who act like they don't care when someone steps up to them don't get touched, except for a few pushes. Although, sometimes they get a right hook to their smirk lol

  • Respect yourself first. Referring to yourself as an insect is setting you back.

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  • Well first of all quit talking and start doing something XD. Learn some self deffence or martial arts. Knowing what you should do when facing danger will give you the self confidence to actually pull it through. Go to gym and gain some muscle, if you aren't doing it already.

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  • By controling everything.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Nice guys don't always finish last in dating
    But nice guys finish last in the corotate world,
    life is rough u gotta be able to kick ass. I don't know, just have a mentality change to know what you want and be willing to be rough when necessary, determine your own outcomes don't let people speak for you, make decisions for you or let things come to chance.
    Good luck!

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  • A big part of this is self confidence. I would recommend joining a martial arts group, it really doesn't matter which one as you are just trying to get the basic understanding of how body mechanics work, and you aren't trying to be a "bad ass" I would look for something that has sparring in the classroom, and that allows you to get hit, and hit. Getting hit is not the end of the world, it hurts, but you get better, and the experience is invaluable to allowing you to just come to terms with fighting. Part of winning is knowing how to loose how to take a beating and get back up and continue.

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  • 1) You get sick of it enough that either you quit caring, or you change something.

    2) It naturally happens as you get older. It might happen faster or slower for different people, but it will almost certainly happen.

    You don't get old without toughening up. If you see someone 90 years old you know they've been through some shit in their lives and managed it somehow. You've made it this far. You might be sick of it, but you ARE getting tougher every time you have to deal with things.

    There is not really any secret to it. Except maybe to fake it. That's a LOT more common than you might think, and it actually works. Once you've faked it long enough it might become a natural part of you. Much of it is an act. Just like you "act" differently at a job interview than you would other places. So you switch modes when the situation calls for it.

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  • Its all about your mindset. If you think you are a pushover, if you dont respect yourself, if you have no confidence - you will be a pushover.

    Additionally you might want to start a martial arts. Its pretty good to build up your confidence because then you know how to defend yourself.

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    • The first thing you said is very true, I agree.

  • You need self-defence classes; either boxing or martial arts. Do it; do it now!

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  • Practice not being a pussy. Don't think before you do shit.

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  • "Timid Wet noodle" lol reminds me of @polocrew 's dick
    You need to be confident. But you can't be confident if you don't have anything to back it up. Work on yourself, am not telling you to go to gym and play with rods.
    Just have one thing you're good at (mentally). Eg if you are good at math, that means you're good at problem solving, you can probably find the best solutions in a tough situation if you don't pussy out.
    Now, work on it. Make it better. And you'd have one strong companion with you every time, your "Problem decipher brain"
    So the next time you go out , you're not alone you got this buddy whose gonna get you out of problems, trust him.
    "What if I am not good at math?" that was just an example, it can be any strong mental characteristic. Mine is staying calm. You won't believe how many troublesome situations I got away from just by staying calm.
    Once you have a trait like this , you're already invincible. But don't stop here, find other traits inside of you which you can polish. And make a fucking army out of them. Walk like the strongest fucking dude on earth with them by your side.

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    • Only fgit like you would write a para longer than his dick is

  • Kyokushin karate. I've been doing it now for almost 30 years. It will get you iron mindsetting when it comes to troubles whatsoever.

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  • Start lifting. Really. Build up your confidence along with your body. Maybe even start doing some kind of martial art.

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  • Grow chest hair and ear nails for breakfast
    http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/34710410.jpg

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  • Uh oh, is this a preamble to a mass murder?

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    • Put it this way, I would call in sick to work tomorrow if I were you.

      I suppose I better add that I'm joking. I don't want to risk being put on some sort of list lol

  • Grow balls and joing boxing club

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  • Work out and take karate and or boxing

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  • You need nanomachines, son.

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    • What are those?

    • Show All
    • Lol, do I have to go on a black market or something to get them?

    • You can buy them from AT Security.

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