Do you ever worry that you might not get married, or have kids, or just have the life you always imagined you'd have?

I'm not one to think negatively like this but sometimes these kind of thoughts pop into my head and makes me think "What if my life never turns out how I want it to be?". I don't know what I'd do in those situations. I don't have a plan B.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Those are doubts and they are lies. It happens, but gotta get a grip on it and let it go. I'm 2x your age and not married/no kids. For long time I didn't want to be, now I want that when I can find it. Best thing you can do is be content with what you have, but want what you want and have your goals you are targeting. That means you have values and you line up your life to those values!

    Whatever you do, don't "steer using the rear view mirror". Stay focused on your objectives, keep your self esteem and values high. The higher value you are the better person you are going to attract.

    You are too young to worry like that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetly life usually won't turn out the way you think. Mine hasn't! It doesn't mean that you won't be happy in the future! It just means that you have to roll with the punches! Most people don't have a plan B, it's just one path!

    You just have to find joy where you can! It is easy for people to focus on the bad things in life these days and forget or not notice the good!

    Right now I am 17 and I am in congenital heart failure and I need a transplant... I have looked back on life and I have begun to notice the things I haven't before... I was never without food, I always had someone I could turn to for support, I've never been assaulted, my parents aren't divorced, etc.

    My advice to you is to focus on the good things you have now and appreciate that. The future will worry about itself!

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What Guys Said 6

  • Never borrow trouble from the future.

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    • But I have to plan my future from now..

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    • I am writing that down.

  • Not really. To be honest when I was younger I wanted to be a comic book artist ( never even read a comic?), then it was a mechanic, then a pastry chef opening up my own bakery. At one point I never wanted kids, then that number went from 0 to 1, 2, 3, and maybe 4. Now... maybe between 0 and 2. At one point I was so hell bent on moving to Melbourne Australia I would sometimes look up apartment prices like I was moving there in a year or two? I guess for me what I want my life to be changes like I change underwear so I'm never to worried about it.

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  • Everyone I know says I would be an AMAZING teacher, and father. Sadly, I NEVER wanted to be either!! Surprising that the Furies haven't worked their wickedness to bring that to my 'skein of life'!
    I've watched others, parents, and people with relationships, and I just don't know how I would deal with it. I am a loner, looking for some AMAZING discovery to make me known. Maybe it never happens, whatever. Don't think I'm good father material, like everyone says!

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  • Your life won't turn out the way you want it to be. It just doesn't. Things happen. Shit changes. There's no "Plan B" there's just one path with a lot of hills and valleys and curves. Thats life. Just gotta take it day by day
    I don't worry about that. I know my worth.

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    • Well I need help finding my worth because things just seem to keep going downhill for me

    • I think what you have to look at is what you can offer a man. Maybe its as simple as writing out on paper. Then maybe you want to look at what you want in a man. Dont settle for less. If your just talking about marriage and kids that will help but if your talking about deeper things as for the meaning if life and where your life goes. You have to take that day by day

  • Nope I'm not worried.

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  • Well I'm a shy guy so I can't bring myself to ask women out so I already know I'll never have a family or have love but that's okay. That was never my primary ambition. I'm just worried if I can't get the career I really want.

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    • I was a shy guy for a long time... it is fixable. You do need to overcome that stuff. There are girls that like "shy" guys, but shy likely denotes other character flaws they won't like. Gotta work on yourself... confidence, esteem, communication skills, relational skills. That will help with everything you do in career and relationships. My 2c being 30 years ahead of you.

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    • you have to follow me back first apparently.

What Girls Said 13

  • All the time! I'm starting to feel like the only person in my area who is single and can't find anyone. Most of the girls my age are already married. in serious relationships or have kids.

    I'm trying my hand at dating but it's not working out. I recently deleted my online profile because I wasn't having any luck.

    So I worry that I'm never going to meet anyone. I don't even know where to meet guys. I'm also shy, though I do try. But literally every guy I start talking to, I find out he has a girlfriend :(

    I feel like I'm cursed! :(

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  • I think it's normal to have these thoughts. Future is so uncertain and sometimes we are afraid of it.
    Some days I also think "What if I will never be able to move to another country?, "What if I end up alone?"
    And when I say "alone" I'm not talking about not having a husband or kids. I'm talking about not having friends or people who care about me.
    I'm scared of loneliness.
    I'm scared of not having the life I always imagined too.
    So, yes I sometimes I worry about this.
    But at the same, I know that I shouldn't be worried about these things, because I don't know what's going to happen. And there are things I can't change.

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  • I think the same way too often.

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  • I worry I won't be successful how I want to be. I have no doubt I'll find a special someone and raise my babies :)

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  • Nope, I worry about current shit now and shit in the future, but I don't wish to have kids or get married. Ya I worry about not becoming an author but hey, im sure as fuck gonna try. if not then at least I can say I tried,

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  • Before, no.. Now, a few times. I didn't worry because I was not interested in havinh kids but I do now. About getting married, I guess I would like but it's harder to find a person to share your life with..

    However.. I have a couple of years before start worrying (for real).

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    • I'm only 19 and I'm already worrying about this

  • well If I don't have kids and I don't get married then my life would turn out exactly the way I planned it.

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  • Same!
    I think, we all think that way at some point in our life.
    But I do believe that I have to make choices, that I have to follow my instincts, learn to listen to elders, and respect their decision.
    Whatever is supposed to happen will happen anyway, you just got to follow your gut and believe yourself. It's hardand these days I've been overthinking a lot, I'm not sure what'll happen.. But if that's what's predestined for me or for you, dont lose hope.

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  • I used to but found out it's useless worrying about something you don't know. I believe there's a time and place for everything.

    My life has not turned out to be anything I imagined it would be and I'm totally ok with that. I'm independent so if I don't get married or have kids I will survive. If I get bored or lonely I have a great network of friends. I believe in being grateful in what I have, being healthy and happy.

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  • i used to constantly worry about this. but now that i've given it more thought, i dont think its something you should worry about. what is the point of getting married earlier and having kids. enjoy your life and just go with the flow.

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  • I'm not worried about not getting married there's guys love me tbh. But I'm worried if I can't find the guy I don't feel excited to spend the rest of my life with. So in that case Yes !!! I'm worried often.

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  • No I don't worry about that stuff, at least not now.

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  • I do not want kids
    I am indifferent to marriage
    I'm working on my dreams

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