Are you transgender or do you know anyone who is transgender... and do you or the person you know ever experience regret over transitioning?

Recently a story came out that Caitlyn Jenner, who transitioned from male to female, was experiencing some regret about her transition and was considering going back to be a man.

I was wondering if this is common?
Any trangender people experience this emotion of regret after transitioning?
Anyone know a transgender person who regretted (to any extent) their transition to a different sex?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have several transgender friends, though only a few who've actually transitioned and everything, but absolutely none of them regret it, nor do I think they ever will. The one friend I have who I knew before he was out and transitioned just seems so much happier and more confident now that he presents as male, and I really don't think he would ever go back or anything. And the friends I have who I met after they transitioned seem entirely confident in their gender, and honestly I don't even think I could imagine them any other gender than what they are (which I suppose is how it ought to be).

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    • do you know if before or after their transition they ever did psychological counseling? just to sort of help them process their feelings and dig into the process of transitioning?

    • No idea honestly. I know at least one came out at a fairly young age, so I'd think that he would've had a psychologist to help him through, since most kids who come out as trans would, but I have no idea for the rest.

Most Helpful Guy

  • No it's not common at all. It happens, but most people who do it are already dedicated.

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    • i don't konw how common the regret is but there are studies that show an alarmingly high rate of suicide in people who transition and that regret of transition isn't uncommon. now perhaps their decision to commit suicide is a product of something else (prior mental health issues, dealing with discrimination or hate as a transgender) ... so it definitely seems like something that should be thoroughly examined. the idea of a significantly higher rate of suicide is nothing to overlook (not saying you are at all)

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    • agree. @jacquesvol posted this nice piece about the various reasons for the higher suicide rate...

      www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...sgend_b_8564834.html

    • I agree that those are the main causes.

What Girls Said 10

  • My brother is transgender and he's had zero regrets.

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  • I actually know a couple of trans people. One was a good friend of mine. Not anymore, but it was nothing to do with him being trans :P He doesn't regret his decision.

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  • I know someone who has recently opened up about being trans. That person has not started hormonal transitioning, so, I don't know if there will be any regret. With the outward physical choices, there is zero regret that I know of. This was a long time coming, so I think with support, my friend will be happy with becoming a more complete version of himself. :)

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  • I know three people who are trans, two trans-women who went from male to female and one trans-boy who went from female to male.
    The trans-boy hasn't had his final surgery yet though so (s) he's theoretically still a female.
    I haven't really talked to them about regrets though, yet but actually I don't think they have any I mean being the opposite gender is what they always wanted.

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  • Yea, its common there are many stories of transpeople reversing their transition. And there are some transgenders who couldnt reverse it who speak up against allowing people with gender dysphora to transiton. There is also a known fear of peoples sexuality changing because of hormones. I know the transpeople i knew one gay chick , a and a few gay guys where scared they would go straight. For some reason hormones can change sexuality. I do know people who have transitioned, im not in support of it but they are wonderful people.

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    • why aren't you in support of it?

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    • they are suppposed. When i was in college i knew a gay dude who was transitioning who later on became my roomate. Anyway, they do a year of counseling, but i think its more of a how is living as a girl going. If they did counseling , like intensive counseling noone would be transitioning. But they make a lot of money off them transitioning and they also make a cut for refereeing them to plastic surgeons. Its all business in the end of the day.

    • well hopefully the counseling isn't to dissuade them from any decision but rather to have them explore their feelings to make the best decision possible based on the individual's situation

  • My roommate at camp was ftm and while she hadn't begun transitioning, cross dressed and hated being a female. I'd say no regrets from her

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  • No and No

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  • no I'm not transgender and I don't no anyone who is transgender

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  • My closest friend is transgender and he doesn't regret it from what i can tell.

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  • I do have a transgender friend, and he seems pretty happy to be identified as a male, so obviously he's not regretting it.

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What Guys Said 13

  • One of my coworkers was TG. He reported to me once a week about business, I handled his commercial propositions. I had no idea about his sexuality problem:
    6ft, 220 lbs guy, married to a nurse, 2 kids.
    Then I heard he was in hospital. I went to visit him. He told me only he needed to be operated regularly. I thought about Crohn's disease.
    He did not mention TG.

    A month later I heard from co-workers he had transitioned to a SHE. I would never see HER again.
    I heard she quit the company (Was she fired? I don't know but it's probable.), divorced.
    I heard she came on television ( I missed that emission)
    Later I heard she committed suicide. Sad. :-(
    That's all, folks.

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  • My best friends brother is transgender, and so is one of my close college friends. Neither of them regret it, and are much happier after the change. It was definitely a huge decision for both of them to make, but they spent the time thinking through their decisions and I believe made their choices wisely.

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  • It ist more common than you think. Some older studies - when people weren't afraid to speak out due to political correctness - indicate that the majority of transgenders in their teens go back to normal and accepting their own gender. It seems to be a phase of "who am I?"

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    • i'm not anti transgender stuff at all. but i am thankful i don't have to deal with that questioning. life is tough enough without the added difficulty of feeling confused about your gender identity

    • I am not against the people, but I am strongly opinionated that its a body identity disorder and not some magical "born in the wrong body"-shit. And I think hormone therapy + potential genital mutilation distracts from the actual problem and thus causes more harm than help.

  • There are cases where trans people want to change back, and they commit suicide at a much higher rate than the general population - I've seen different numbers that place them at twenty to twenty-five times higher in number of suicides than cisgendered people.

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    • really interesting. i hadn't heard this but a quick search shows you're right. NIH worked with the Swedish board of health and concluded what you said

      Per NIH "Persons with transsexualism, after sex reassignment, have considerably higher risks for mortality, suicidal behaviour, and psychiatric morbidity than the general population. Our findings suggest that sex reassignment, although alleviating gender dysphoria, may not suffice as treatment for transsexualism, and should inspire improved psychiatric and somatic care after sex reassignment for this patient group."

      sounds like sexual reassignment may need to coincide with significant psychological counseling

  • I may not be transgender by the dictionary definition, but I am at least gender confused — I do have issues with being born male, but not to a point where I want to transition, because I'm not sure if a female body would suit me better. And even putting that aside, when you transition you don't actually become the other sex, you're just made to look like it. It's a bit difficult to explain.

    Besides that, I don't know any trans people (or I'm not aware).

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    • i understand what you mean. although most transgender people. at least all that i've known and have known of always referred to themselves as the gender they transitioned to

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    • You may not be 'gender binary'. Hope you at least find some people online who can be supportive without also shoving you to be any particular way.

    • @0112358 Yeah, that's what I'd currently identify as (gender non-binary). And thank you!

  • No, I've never met a transgender or trans-sexual. I do/did have gay friends, male and female.

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  • I saw some numbers around 60% in regards to gender-reassignment surgery failure rates.
    As in 60% either didn't feel any happier after surgery or felt even less happy than before.

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  • I've met one transgendered person during my days, and he... She... They... Is very arrogant about it, looking at you as if you're everything wrong with the world as she/he/skle goes around to metal concerts and talks about bringing down "the man" whilst listening to music on an Apple iPod.

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    • uh so do they regret their decision to transition?

      this isn't really a question about the personality of a trans person you've met

    • Since they rub it in people's faces all the time, probably not.

  • There's a transitioning male to female in one of my classes. I don't speak to him/her though.

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  • Hahahahahaha! If that isn't the nail in the coffin of all this's gender bending bs, I don't know what is. BEUTIFUL. Where's her book deal?

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    • gender bending bs? one person's experience doesn't represent all. if you read the posts 99% show that people who transitioned are happy with their decision. I'm recommending your post be removed as it's antagonistic and offensive (in it's suggestion that transgender or transitioning is "BS")

    • Lol, Jesus. No other mamillia changes gender roles besides these freaks. Sure, though, have GAG shut me up. That'll help.

      http://www.sexchangeregret.com

  • Nope. I don't.

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  • That story about Jenner is not true.

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    • ok. question still seems relevant. there is a lot of evidence that shows regret or dissatisfaction after transitioning is not at all uncommon

  • I know one person. They were raised female, transitioned to male. Absolutely zero doubts or looking back in their case.

    I think theres' really no question some people seem to fit the 'born in wrong body happier post transition' model, and some are clinically unhappy people who are striving for some reason to explain their unhappiness.

    My hope is that with more recognition of trans issues, more data, we will get better at telling at as young an age as possible which is which, so they can get the help that best meets their needs.

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