Am I behind used sexually? Or do relationships start like this?

Am I behind used sexually? Or do relationships start like this? This guy and I have been talking for about a month now. We went on a few dates, i went over to his house and slept over w/o having sex a couple of times. He let me know of his insecurities in relationships, he said he doesn't know what he wants from anyone right now. I know he is not in a place where he wants a relationship, and he may be seeing other women, I don't know. A week ago we had sex for the first time. Then last night we had sex again.. and as I woke up this morning laying next to him, I was spooning him.. looking at him, and I just felt like a booty call. last night he invited me over, but said he would contact me when he got back with his bro (he also works night shifts and sleeps during the day, so the hours we spend together are usually late). He didn't contact me til 3am, I went over there. I know he had to wake up for work again in a few hours. We small talked, then jumped right into a kiss, then having sex. It was good sex, it lasted enough time and we communicated well ( I think anyways), but... I feel so OFF. I left before he woke up. I texted him a little later with a reason why I left early (work) and that i had a really good time, and all he sent me was that he figured thats why I left, and "to have a good day!" I just feel kinda rushed and taken for granted or something. I feel kinda gross. Am I being used if we aren't exclusive and this is what's happening? Or do relationships start like this? by the way, im 21 and he's 28

Like I just went over to his place for sex this time and I'm wondering if that's a red flag.

He told me he is a relationship guy but doesn't know what he wants right now


Most Helpful Girl

  • That's not the traditional way in which most relationships start. You're not being 'used', either, though. He doesn't seem to have told you at any point that he wants a relationship, or that the sex that you willingly participated in meant anything more than the whole physical-pleasure thing.


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  • I feel likw your being used that your just his booty call I'm sorry to tell you this

  • Yeah it feels like sex is the focus right now and not you.