Are you the one who always puts too much effort into a relationship/friendship but feel like that person doesn't care much?

Eh sometimes I feel like I put too much effort into something and I don't receive the same or any of that effort back.

I just care too much. It's just who I am by nature, and to my disappointment I feel like I'm being dragged in the mud :(

Do you ever feel like you've made the effort for a relationship or a friendship and feel like that person doesn't care? Like they're totally oblivious to it, instead of reassuring you, they overlook it or give off a "meh" attitude about it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can understand you, there are some reasons that can make people not to thank your effort as you deserve:
    - There are some people who are interested on different things that you are helping them to get.
    - There are some people who can be satisfied long time later about your effort, and they will put their effort much later than you did it.
    - There are some people who are so ungrateful that only would take advantage of what you did and will never put any effort for rewarding you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yea I'm the same way as u. I always try to hard and get shit in return. My advise is to keep trying and if u notice they aren't than u stop to and see how they resopnd. It might break a few relationships and friendships but u will find out who is worth keeping in your life.

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    • Sometimes it's not even the situation of trying to hard. You just care about your best friend or your boyfriend or family whoever. But they just make seem not not be phased by it. Which is disappointing because you get hurt. But yes stop and seeing how they respond is one way. That's even if they respond at all

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    • Yeah I have some really close friends :) and thank you. Thank you for the awesome advice

    • No prblem ☺️☺️👍🏻

What Guys Said 18

  • Here, you're having one whether you want or not, idc how strong you are nobody turns down a hug from these fellas 😉

    1funny.com/.../koala-hug.png

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  • Sometimes, yes and I think I need to just not give a fuck. Trouble is, that's actually harder for me than to care, while for most people it's the other way around. Honestly, I know guys are the ones who are supposed to be dense about signs / hints and are supposed to be the ones who don't care much, but I often feel it's the other way around. Maybe it's just the people I keep encountering and I just need to widen my pool of friends and give less fucks about everyone. Who knows...

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    • I wish I could give less fucks to everyone, but i just have to be that caring type.. really screws you over hard. Good luck with that man

  • Yeah I kinda feel like that. I feel like a friendship/relationship should be both ways and mutual. I can't understand people who don't initiate texts or contact.

    In the same way that they appreciate you, true friendship or true relationship material is always there all the time.

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  • Yes I have been living that life and I realized it is not good for many reasons..…it devalues you and says that you want it more than they do... hugz if it is reciprocal it builds and you with it otherwise it is wasted effort in my experience. Hugz 🍀🐶🍀

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  • So far, though I'm not the person with the 100 friends, I've had the right friends around me :D
    Not that there are no setbacks or uncomfortable moments... but in general I'm okay. And I have this splendid friend in Australia I can even call "sis" :D

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  • I put plenty of effort into the relationship, however, I would never stick around with someone who did not reciprocate.

    I would have to know that she actually cares, and effort is the only way I know that demonstrates someone cares.

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    • What happens if she isn't as verbal as you about about the relationship? Would that concern you?

    • Yes, because if she can't voice her opinion about things or always tells me she is "fine" then she is not truly giving herself to me.

  • I had happen with some of the friends I had.. I think I did put thought on people when I hardly had it in return or at times they felt bad and they responded the way I think they should had. Due to feeling somewhat lonely personally I put up with it or overlooked it, Knowingly it wasn't right.

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    • Do you still continue the friendship knowing it wasn't right? Or are you ok to just break away from it

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    • That's nice to hear that things worked out for you in the end

    • Yeah it's allright I some of those old "friends" from time to time and I just play like nothing happen

  • How dare the man up north make you feel this way! ?

    I put effort into it cause I like to but I don't feel that the person doesn't care.

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    • his being mean :(

      I just want to work things out. And it's hard when people avoid it because they just don't want to deal with it but that being said there avoidance does feel like I'm being dragged in the mud

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    • But theyre the ultimatr driving machine

    • So much people own them here lol it's like when a nice car get a Beamer. It's just so Blurghhh XD lol

  • Something like that.

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  • I should be called MAT.. I do too much and get nothing in return

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  • Yes. And it sucks

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  • yes a lot of times.

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  • Relationships are effortless.

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  • Yeah totally

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  • yeah thats me , im that stupid person.
    thnx for reminding me

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  • I just want to get laid, So who knows :/

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  • you're one of the most attractive girls on the gag. is your boyfriend blind?

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    • Probably

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    • Thank you sushi

  • Yeah until i realized that nobody worth it

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What Girls Said 25

  • All the time! I care too much and I wear my heart on my sleeve. But it's frustrating bc people take that as a weakness or they use you.

    I've definitely made efforts in the past, only to have the guy leave me, cheat or treat me like dirt. So I have stopped giving so much.

    You just get to a point where you say enough is enough and you start requiring more from people. Sure it sucks and I feel lonely at times. But honestly, I would rather wait for a guy who is going to put in the effort, rather than stick with one who isn't going to care or put in any effort.

    I love to spoil my bf's. I love to be nice to them, to cook for them and help them out. But I also want someone who is going to do things for me as well. I don't require much. I don't need money. I just want their love and time. That's all I ask for. Unfortunately that is too much for some people.,

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  • yesss, that's me to a t. Sounds like how I've felt things were with my relationships, either just friends or romantic ones. Lots of rough times resulted from that, no doubt. Lots of tears, days of feeling devastated. Just recently, I went through something similar. I realized that that's just how I am. The fact that I'm by far more of a giver than receiver is not something that I can just change. I'm either all in, or nothing at all. Which I have tried doing, just shutting off my emotions, figuratively speaking. Didn't work out too well, as it just ends up making me feel even worse in the end.

    So.. yeah. I've had many instances where I felt like the effort in one of my relationships or friendships was one-sided. I learned a lot about myself through them, though. Since then, I've simply learned to be a lot more selective about who I spend my time with. Perhaps I don't have a giant group of friends or anything, but I know without a doubt that the ones who I do have would have my back.

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    • I'm trying to learn how to turn on and off my emotions and I don't know how well that would go for me. But I don't know I'll see I guess.

      People sometimes sucks lol

  • this is very common among girls in general. we give a lot and expect a lot better. unfortunately, many people like to take without giving much back.

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    • Very much true. People just don't either care or is oblivious to it

  • Yeah it was the case in my last relationship (and only).
    It was an LDR, LDR needs communication, without it, we're nothing.
    The fact that it was an LDR didn't bother me much, this year I barely saw my friends, but we kept in touch like before, also it's the same with my family, I have been living away for 3 years, didn't change my feelings towards them.
    Tbh he used to text me first like 90% of the time if not more, but other than that, at the end I was more into it... He was distant.

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    • LDR's are hard babe. But both people need to pan it out. 100% coming from both people then things will work out. Which of course closing the distance is a good idea to. But I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out if they aren't already

    • How much communication do you need?

      Like how many times a day does a guy need to keep in contact with you.

  • Always. I always put forth my everything, whether it's obvious or not. Sometimes I feel as if they don't care and when I feel like that, I talk to them about it. If they continue then although I'll be sad, I break the friendship. I won't be with someone in anyway if I put forth my everything and they won't give me anything.

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    • Realising that they don't put the same effort back and moving on is a brave move to do

    • I try to and it's always difficult but I'm slowly coming to realize I'm important too.

  • Yes ):

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  • omg, that is exactly how I feel all the time with my husband.

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  • Yep. It's not exactly why I'm back to the single life, but at the same time it's part of the reason. I'm okay with it though. I'll find someone who will show me the same (and even more, maybe) amount of love and care that I've tried showing them.

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  • you're just doing it for the wrong guy. the right guy will return the effort and care as much as you do

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  • yeah. i don't want to care too much or seem clingy so then we both have a meh attitude even if mines is to protect myself then the relationship failed because of lack of communication because i don't want to be vulnerable and he doesn't care enough to notice.

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  • yea most of the time since I am a people pleaser and care too much for people s comfort.
    reason why I cut it down so I have a lot of friends to hang out with but barely any real close ones.

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    • Do you have any friends that you can go to and just vent? They would always know how to cheer you up or just give you solid advice. You need a close friend girlie

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    • That's awesome your mum is close to you like that though!

    • I know ^.^

  • Yup, that's would be me. I always give too much in both friendships and relationships, and I never feel like it's reciprocated.

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  • In past relationships I've had that happen often. In the one I'm in now, I don't feel that way at all and that it's even. :)

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  • Yep, most definitely, Moolady. :( Seems to happen all too often.

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  • Omg finally I thought I was the only freaking person experiencing this. I always give 100% in all relationships whether it be friends or family. Sometimes I just get so tired of it cause no one ever tries that much with me.

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    • Not at all lovely. It definitely happens to some of us. I agree sometimes I get tired of it all

  • Yes! I did everything I could possibly do for him, like take into account his interests and did a lot of things that complimented them. I did it out of love and respect for him because I loved who he was and your suppose to take time out of your life to do things for those you love. But he took me for granted and never did those things for me.

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    • Ugh that sucks lovely. I'm sorry to hear. Sometimes he'll do stuff like that but we are still around them. Love hurts

    • I ended it with him. He ended up lying to me about this girl we worked with. I had an uneasy feeling about her and him and it turned out to be true. Sucks giving your all to someone and they hurt you like that.

    • Yeah always trust those uneasy (almost gut feelings) you have. I learnt the hard way to trust my gut feeling. I had to get hit by a car for me to trust them. Which kind of sucked but everytime I get that feeling, my brain and heart can get out of it.
      Yeah it sucks to just give someone your all. It feels like a waste of time sometimes

  • I just went through that and it is a very sad and hard feeling. I dont know if I can continue with the friend relationship or not

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  • Absolutely yes, and sometimes it's just hard to fathom when you realize just how much that person didn't ever really care.

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  • I feel like I am and it sucks so I try to pull back esp in the beginning

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  • ... never and everyone already knows this about me.

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  • I use to do that in romantic relationships but I always ended up getting shit on so I stopped

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  • yes all of the time I feel like this

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  • yes, but thats the way i am and as long as i know i'm doing the right thing, then its cool.

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  • Omg yes 😔 everytime

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  • No. I make mistakes as well and I always admit it. I can be distant and cold from time to time, so it's completely understandable when others feel the need to do the same.

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