How might you cheer up an 81 year old woman with dementia?

I had to take the day off work today because my mother had a nightmare. She dreamed she was lost and alone and no one could help her.

She lives with me now. I had PTAM forms to fill out (don't be jealous!). Now I am free. I plan to take her for a drive in my convertible with the top down. Any other ideas for this evening?

She can walk. She hasn't lost all faculties.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am so sorry about that. :(
    I heard music helps. Maybe if you put some music on (especially from her era) she might feel a bit better.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like in a dream form she is processing her dementia fears in her own way. We have talked before about my father's dementia and I often stated that one of the frustrating things for me and most likely him is that he couldn't fully express what was going on in his head or we couldn't fully understand it.
    My advice is don't think I have to go big, create something special, interact with her, find a level she is comfortable with - The drive, fresh air, a nice walk somewhere could be as good as anything - Some of the comments are very good maybe something that reminds her of the past - A place she used to visit and music as well, my dad love of music was one of the last things to go or if she is able some simple fun activity (depending on how she is affected).
    Just one last little thing I don't know how your mother is affected but my father hated crowds and loud noises so if you go for a musical option maybe more on the gentle side.
    Really the main thing I have to say is you play it by ear - Every now and again it seems like it could be too much but it is amazing how quickly you adapt - Best of luck

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What Girls Said 6

  • Take her out somewhere for dinner that she would enjoy. Think of things she may enjoy and just go with it, I'm sure she would appreciate the thought put into it.

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  • Sadly my grandmother had dementia and couldn't do anything by myself. She passed away 9 months ago now. Best to take her to places she remembers the most and probably remember as a kid. I know with my grandmother she was able to say every story from her childhood.

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    • My mother grew up about 2000 miles away. Alas, that isn't possible.

  • Going to a movie has a funny way of helping you drift off into another time and place...

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    • The sound on many movies frightens her. it's too loud in most theaters. I might take her to see Finding Dory.

    • I am going to go see it on Saturday! Have been waiting for years for it to come out.

  • Take her a botanical garden! She gets out and who doesn't like flowers?

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  • Maybe try going with her to a restaurant that serves old fashioned food.

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  • Don't you talk. Rather, have her talk ask her about the old days when she was happy and to talk about those days be it with your father or her children or her sister or her father or mother. The more she talks about times and she was happy the better things will be

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What Guys Said 12

  • you are such an awsome guy for caring for mom like that!

    The Bible should help in some form, or... that's the whole purpose... like take to a pretty church? some people dig this some people won't.

    take her to a sunny place where she can feel good.

    Take to dog park or humane society and bond with dogs. I get totaly joy from watching dogs at dog park...

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  • Music. The last part of the brain to be lost is the part that relates to music. There must be music she loved, old songs will spark memories and soothe. Just about anything she likes will be on YouTube.

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  • My mother is in stroke-caused dementia, cannot speak, and is paralyzed on one side of her body. I "talk at her" when I visit, and try to cheer her up, but I know she is miserable and wishes she could pass away.

    I will make it a habit to be a hypochondriac when I get to her age, and I vow to figure out some way to "off" myself just before / after I get to that point.

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  • My uncle really liked to see places from his childhood. It seemed that dementia didn't touch those memories. Hope that helps.

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    • I'm afraid her childhood memories are 2000 miles away.

  • I am so jealous of those ptam forms.

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  • Take her somewhere she should have a lot of memories. Even if she doesn't remember it will have a positive effect on her.

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  • Kararoke.

    Seriously. Singing is showing huge promise as a treatment for people with dementia.

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  • Get her a male prostitute. Bet she hasn't had a piece of ____ in years.

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  • Just let her know you are enjoying serving her and grateful

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  • I NB might do as with a child. Tell simple jokes

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  • You could sing for her or tell her stories

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  • Maybe a tub of Vita extra virgin organic coconut oil?

    coconutoil.com/coconut-oil-research-alzheimers/

    ''The testimonies of success in using coconut oil to treat Alzheimer’s has been nothing less than remarkable''

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    • Have a read of 'Dr. Mary Newport husband's Alzheimer's Disease.' Nothing works for everyone but in her case, it took 37 days. Also think of the low fat diet craze people follow... terrible for the brain.

      Good luck!

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