Are constant relationships with various men (or women) over time bad for your soul?

I’ve noticed how many people who are constantly in and out of relationships struggle to function as a happy, mentally healthy, confident person. It’s like it takes a toll on their ability to love themselves, to love others sometimes, to be positive, to feel a large sense of worth and confidence, and to basically have harmony within them. People act like more relationships and sexual encounters make you “more experienced” and say it like it’s a good thing, but I’ve noticed the opposite.

Is that “extra experience” really necessary if you get in a relationship with someone who has their sh*t together and isn’t going to make you miserable? What do you think? Are constant relationships with various men (or women) over time bad for your soul?

  • Yes, they are.
    65% (34)61% (30)63% (64)Vote
  • No, they're not.
    35% (18)39% (19)37% (37)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't equate experience with "winning" even though I have a fair amount. I'm very happy with myself. I have chosen a career that has lead me to average 2-3 years long relationships cause of lots of travel. I can say I have grown a lot and learned some lessons that I can never have learned if I stopped at one.
    Sexually, well yes I am able to give some of what I have learned. I don't think I'm better than anyone. I don't compare myself to others so neither should you.
    What I have been certain my whole life is that I need a certain amount of challenge/stress to keep growing. Any decent person can raise a family and marry right after high school and that's not what I wanted.
    So there are just different people looking for different experiences in life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like constant relationships can be harmful. Especially if the person doesn't take time to reflect on why the relationships are ending. Sometimes it can even knock down your self-confidence if you are always having relationships end. It definitely takes it's toll.

    But sometimes it's not the fault of the person. Sometimes they just aren't good at meeting compatible people for them. I feel like my nature causes people to want to use me. I'm a nice person, I love to help other people out. I show my love and care for other people by helping. I also make friends by helping. Sometimes I give too much of myself and it wears me out. Sometimes people take advantage of my helping nature.

    I think people need to be careful in relationships. If someone doesn't feel ready, then they should stay single until they feel they are able to fully be involved with another person.

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What Guys Said 16

  • I think it's actually the other way around. If somebody is 35 and has so far never engaged in any long-term, serious relationship, chances are that person has some serious personal, emotional problems. These problems are not necessarily of a conscious nature - in fact, they are unconscious in most cases. In other words: constantly jumping from one relationship into the next doesn't make you sick. Rather, it's a symptom of an already existing problem. The incapability of making a long-term commitment can have a lot of causes but it's generally not something healthy.

    But we should also be careful not to be judgmental. Just because somebody had a lot of one night stands for example doesn't necessarily make that person sick. Some people also just prefer that kind of lifestyle and it doesn't harm them. It always depends on how strongly somebody engages in such a lifestyle.

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    • I'm glad you added in that last bit about not being judgmental. I feel like I get judged because I'm 26 and my longest relationship was 2 years long. That's it. Most of my friends have had several 3+ year relationships. It's not because I didn't want my relationships to last. It's mainly because the guys didn't want to be with me and broke things off (fair enough). I just hope people don't hold that against me. I'm a really nice person, I have a lot of love to give and a lot to offer. I just need to be given the chance!

    • @Darkfairie17 Yes, of course and people should give you the chance :-). Besides, some people also just need more time than others. My best guy friend (we've been friends since Kindergarten) is 27 now and has never had a serious relationship in his whole life. He's had a couple of girlfriends but it always ended after 2-3 weeks. While I am currently in a 6-year relationship, his relationship experience is close to zero (so his situation is even "crazier" than yours). However, he's met a girl this spring and has been together with her for 3 months now. That's not very long yet but it looks like it might last for a long time. I've never judged him about his lifestyle and just figured that he needed the time to get where he is now.
      You should also know that I personally don't judge anyone who does stuff like sleeping around a bit (neither guys nor girls). That's all fine by me. I just think having a long relationship can be a great life-experience because you learn a lot about yourself.

    • I don't sleep around. I just don't get a chance at long-term relationships! The guys I meet lose interest or meet other people or cheat. It's been a tough few years. I got out of an abusive relationship and then into one where a guy cheated on me and lied about a bunch of things. It's been tough. Not because I search out guys who are like that, they definitely weren't like that in the beginning.

  • I think their relationships fall apart and they need to jump into other relationships BECAUSE they struggle to function as a mentally healthy and happy, confident person in general.

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    • ^^ this, exactly. You've got cause and effect backwards.

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    • @redeyemindtricks If being accused of saying something I didn't say makes me autistic, then yes I am autistic.

      When did I say "I want to avoid sluts?"

      Since you cannot explain irony when you try to use the word incorrectly, and since you quote me for saying something I didn't, are you retarded? Serious question.

  • Yes. Statistcs show this. It prevents you from adequitly connecting with the new person each time making it harder and harder. Then of course since they are so use to jumping form person to person they never actually acquire the skills necessary to maintain a long term relationship etc etc. Its not good.

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  • The continual short-term relationships are not the problem, they are a symptom. Either the person is repeatedly making the same bad choice, or they are not a suitable partner themselves.

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  • Yes they are bad for you if you're getting into those relationships for the wrong reasons. Like just not wanting to be single.

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  • From witnessing several toxic relationships throughout my lifetime (luckily none of my own), what happens is that the sexual bond is what keep magnetizing two people together, even though they may not be the most compatible people relationship-wise.

    So you can say, that both parties are sexually addicted to each other.

    This is why it is so important to be careful about who you are intimate with, the idea of "it's just sex, it feels good, it's not a big deal!" is highly misguided. Sex is spiritually bonding, whether these people believe it or not.

    I have not known anyone who is highly promiscuous, and is genuinely a happy soul on the inside. #ThinkAboutIt

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    • I learned a lot from what you just said wow!

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    • @redeyemindtricks maybe a few. but it's something that makes the soul weary bc a healthy relationship is just made for two people and not from having 3 to 4 exes and continuing, that makes the person sad and empty specially with sex involved

    • @Keepcalm89 Some people are perfectly capable of sex without emotional attachment.

      And, I can't speak for anyone but myself, but... if I'm not getting my sexual needs met, I have a bad habit of thrill-chasing that *could* lead to some pretty bad decision-making.

  • Its one of those what was first questions. Hen or egg.

    They jump from relationship to relationship because they have mental health issues already. But also jumping from relationship to relationship causes more issues. Its a vicious cycle.

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  • I'll get to the heat of the meat! People who date a lot build either emotional or insecurity issues but they don't know it. Love is something to be taken seriously and love/like, love/like, love/like etc... You get the point, you are fucking with an emotion that is the foundation of the soul. Try to love once! You only love one mom and one dad right!

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  • honestly, I say no only because it depends on the soul.

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  • definitely.

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  • Nah they fucked up to start with.

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  • yes, if you can't hold a relationship then there's something wrong with that person. monogamy leads to nothing but having a empty hole in your chest wondering whats missing in your life. im pretty sure there was a movie based on this concept already.

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  • They probably are.

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  • yes, satan only likes to make agreements with virgins for their souls.

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  • Yeah. I wouldn't say bad for the soul. But bad for their mental state

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  • Yes. I could elaborate, but I don't care if you slowly destroy your life, one penis at a time.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I'm not sure but speaking from experience I will say that I have been in one real relationship for almost 7 years now, and I'd rather that than what my sister did... numerous different relationships in the last 10 years each lasting about 1-3 years... and her son has no real father (father totally out of the picture).

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  • I was an escort and previously dated back to back.
    I actually think my soul is more pure today thanks to my experience.

    Unlike people that fall immediately into a long term relationship without much thought/for comfort -
    I waited to commit to a partner that was an absolute gem. He is so kind and giving to the those in need - its as if he was an angel.
    I truly appreciate him for what he does for others. I will never give up on this love I have for him.
    We have been homeless together, felt hunger together and created life together.
    I am so grateful I did what I did because it brought me to him and I wouldn't have had the maturity I have today to appreciate the rough times.

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  • I don't think that it's the relationships themselves that are causing these people to be mentally unhealthy. I think it's the other way around. It makes sense to me that they're mentally unhealthy and it causes them to be in and out of relationships all the time.

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  • I think it depends some people truly enjoy the single life, while others are in love with relationships. It's hard to meet in the middle. I think we are all searching for the right person for ourselves and sometimes we get caught up in the wrong people or the parties.

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  • Soul? I dunno.
    Happiness/well being, yea, I think back to back dating is pretty pointless and shallow or pointless and unnecessarily taxing on the heart (because the person 'loves' every Bob or Jill.

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  • Everyone is so different, some are happier bouncing around but others like to be safe and grounded. Different things makes different people happy.

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  • Given that a soul is a metaphorical construct and not an actual thing, I'm going to have to say no.

    As someone who has had several short relationships, I don't think it's impacted me in any negative way, but its changed my perspective just like all of our choices unquestionably do.

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    • A soul is a real thing. People who call it a "metaphorical construct" are probably just trying too hard to seem intellectual and intelligent.

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    • right, So you don't have any argument you want to present, but feel like calling me a loser is going to somehow make your bowing out of the discussion my loss? Oh well, I don't really care and it doesn't seem like you do either so let's just agree to drop it.

    • No, it’s not that I don’t have any “argument”. It’s just that I have no desire to spend my free time “arguing” in front of a screen because some loser wants to stroke her ego. Maybe you enjoy sitting on your ass and bickering for sport in your free time, but some of us other adults aren’t interested in spending our chill time that way, honey. It’s not that I’m “bowing out” of the discussion, it’s that I don’t discuss things with people who come off as lame, egotistical, and only open their mouths for the sake of arguing.

      If you don't seem worth a certain amount of effort then you won't get it from me.

  • I've noticed the same with the people around me.

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  • Don't know if it's true though reports say it is, but i have read that when a woman sleeps with a man his soul energy is passed into her so she may take on some of his characteristics and as many men she sleeps with each time the man she sleeps with passes on his soul energy, well i guess there could be some truth after all we are energy and being with someone you will pick up their energy of course that is why when someone feels a certain way and you are around them you too pick up and feel exactly what they are feeling especially if it's bad.

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  • yup..

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  • Nah, I wouldn't say they're bad for your soul or anything. Personally, however, I never get into a relationship with someone I don't see myself being with long-term.

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  • If the relationships are bad yes

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  • So basically you think the first person someone dates is the person you're going to marry? You think it's that easy to find your soul mate? You think people enjoy heart ache and breakups? Are you kidding me?

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    • Did I say that the first person someone dates is the person they’re going to marry? No. I said no such thing. Make sure you have your facts correct before you waste an answer being defensive and dramatic.

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