How do you convince someone who's had nothing but pain in her that life is worth living?

I'm trying to help someone who had a life of only pain and I don't know how else to help her. When she told me what happened to her I was crying on my keyboard. She was neglected by her parents, sexually assaulted and when she was pregnant she thought it was her only chance of happiness but there was a miscarriage and she wants to be with her baby :'(

Please, any advice; feel free to PM me if you have any advice you have gotten through whatever struggles you've had.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The main thing to do with her is talk to her and as you talk to her, have a think about things - Talk to her about support sites for the things she has been through, go through research with her - If you live near her, offer to go to a counsellor with her or a group meeting - Encourage her to join forums or groups, I have a mild bi polar and the best thing I ever did is talk to other people who had it - Maybe talking to other people and hearing their stories/experiences will help her chose an path to help her cope - Tell her or you don't take it all on yourself, avail of as much help as you need - Often the best thing is to look at all the options and choose the one that you think suits the best in the current situation.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Tell here that: As bad as it gets there are people out there much less fortunate than herself and with fates much worse than hers. Tell her to Just be thankful that you are still alive and that she shouldn't give up. Get her counseling with a mental health professional asap if not immediately. If she ever talked to people that are depressed and suicidal or even had succeeded she will realize the horrible reality of it all and may reconsider. It isn't easy, quick and painless to really end one's own life, and she will realize this if she ever met and spoke with someone that had ever attempted but failed to kill themselves. Bad things happen to innocent and good people in this world all the time, just try not to dwell on it so much. She needs mental health therapy. Keep looking out for your friend and support her in any way that you can, she will need it.

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  • Try to find a hobby to do together, give her something to wake up for and get excited about doing. Find her a goal in life.

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  • When any of my bro go in depression, id take him out Get him drunk and be 2x more blast than I usually am which is lot. Do same OP

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  • Show them love and respect. Show them the beauty of living. Take them to a garden or the shore. Let them know they are not the only one and they're strong for continuing to live.

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  • You can't convince people of their value.

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  • The Bible.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Her losing her baby feels like a hole that you have to learn to live around. It's almost like losing a limb, and having to move on in life without it. That will always hurt. And they say time heals, however I'm not sure that pain ever heals. The only thing that dulled it for me was having another child. Which wasn't planned, but it was everything I needed. But that can also cause problems such as never working through the loss, or having thar replacement feeling. Fortunately I didn't have those feelings, but some do. I don't know if time heals that pain without another child? In sharing with other parent's who have lost babies, another was the only that helped them move past those feelings as well, or years of time. You're an awesome person for being with her through that though. So many people leave because they just don't know what to say.

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  • Tell her the story about the hymn, "It is well with my soul."

    The hymn was written after horrible events that happened in Spafford's life. First it was the death of his son at the age of 2. Then the 1871 Great Chicago Fire, which ruined his family financially. His businesses were hit even worse with the economic downturn of 1873. Which he had to stay back in the USA and send his family on ahead to Europe. When the rest of his family crossed the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sea vessel. All 4 of his daughters died in that accident, luckily his wife did survive. He then ended up having 3 more kids but the son died at the age of 4 due to scarlet fever. So he wrote the hymn for all the horrible tragedies he had faced.

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  • You don't convince her you show it to her so that she can see it with her own life. Introduce her to news friends, take her out, make her dance on entire night with a stranger, keep her awake until the sunrise and make her watch it, touching the ocean. Show her you love her. Life sucks sometimes but is so worth living it

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