Tougher parents vs. Peter Pan?

Have any of you ever wished your parents were tougher on you? I ask this in the sense that I am a parent. I have always believed in teaching responsibility and yet I also believe that it's okay for children to have their own personalities, so I have worked hard to not crush who they are. Additionally I also believe that as you learn responsibility, while I can give you advice and guidance, it is up to you to follow it or not. I have never been a supporter of nagging or brow beating you into compliance, so if you ask me a question I will do my best to provide you with the best answer I can, but if you elect to ignore my advice, then the consequences are on YOU!

My point is as I have been watching my children grow, while I can appreciate that they will make their own mistakes, I have also noticed that despite the fact that they are growing chronologically, they don't want to "grow up" and be responsible adults. I am beginning to wonder if I haven't been tough enough on them? I know we are all living in a very challenging time, and I believe life is tough enough without me calling you down all the time, however I would also hope that there will be a time, where they will take up the reigns and accept more responsibility, make more decisions and well take that big step into being a responsible adult. I completely understand that adulthood is not easy or for the faint of heart and more than anything I might want for myself I want my kids to grow up and be happy and successful.

You don't have to get everything right the first time, but in order to make that journey through adulthood, you have to actually start walking down the path, now down worry I will be there to help guide you, but refusing to become an adult will not really meet your goals of becoming Peter Pan.

So I ask you all, do you ever wish your parents were tougher on you? Do you feel they prepared you for becoming an adult?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No one wishes their parent, or anyone should be tough on them. With that said, you aren't there to cater or ass kiss your lids. You're there to provide and teach them to become a responsible person. That usually means instilling values, good work ethic, prepare them for when they become an adult and showing them right from wrong. They aren't your friends. It's pretty much tour obligation to hold them to high standards. There's a difference between being a helicopter parent and being a demanding parent

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    • See, this has been my opinion the whole time, I guess I just wonder about this, as my oldest son, now seems rather reluctant to become an adult and I worry that he will wish that somehow I kicked him in the ass a little more, granted I'm not prone to it now. I'm just trying to figure out what is going through is mind right now. Thanks for your input on this subject.

    • Who cares what he thinks? It's not about making him comfortable. It's about making him do the right thing. You're his parent. Make him not be a 5 year old anymore. You know what an ultimatum is?

What Girls Said 1

  • my family is kinda strict and conservative... hmmm i think i'd be similar to them when i'll be a parent

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What Guys Said 1

  • No one and nothing prepares you for adulthood. After all your parents are human and it's really no different than any other long term relationship. You get who you get and deal how you deal.

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    • This is very true, it is has been my goal to try and prepare my children as much as I can, and it would seem at times (strong emphasis on seem) that all of my efforts are for nothing, and despite my warnings my kids still seem determined to make all the mistakes I warned them about. Thanks for your input though.

    • Yep. No problem.

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