Is my boyfriend childish or am I exaggerating?

My boyfriend likes to play video games, watch anime, wear anime clothing or shirts with jokes & stuff. He has no clothing that would be decent for a date. It's all stuff he would also wear when he was 12, 13 and he is now 23. His clothing hasn't changed at all except for the sizes. He wears spiderman, naruto, dragon ball z, etc.

I really wish he would have at least a couple of clothing items that he could wear for a date or just to go to the beach with me. I feel like he just doesn't want to grow up. He is autistic so I'm wondering if maybe that's why.

He refuses to wear any shirts with buttons, stripes or a texture he doesn't like which means that if its not cotton.

Am I crazy or he has to change his style? He finishes school in a couple of months and will have to go on the job market. I feel like he will never get a job if he still wears dragon ball z shirts!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What area in the job market is he going to try to get into? Different ones are tolerant of different things

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    • engineer. For a job he doesn't need to wear a tie but for interviews, it's important to dress nice...

    • No, you're right. You can't get away with that in an environment where everyone is very competitive the stakes are high and you need to give off the impression you're responsible, on top of your shit and can make up for it if you aren't.

      Who do you think is gonna get picked:
      The guy who looks like Jim Halpert or the guy who shows up in an oversize shirt with a picture of a cartoon character jumping over childish text reading "Naruto"?

      You are a good person for feeling a certain call to action and you should help him. Honestly it's awesome that you care about him this much so you need to find a way to make him change for the better.

      Say what you want about old values, they had it right when they said that behind every great man is an even greater woman.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Him being an individual with ASD is certainly a factor.
    Autistic people generally have little concern about how appropriate their clothing is in terms of social norms, whether they be related to age, maturity, or otherwise. He wears what he likes, which in this case, is clothing related to cartoons that he's still interested in.

    You're not crazy, neither does he have to change his style. Whether his current apparel will negatively impact his experience in finding a job or not is his business, not yours.

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    • It's my business too because I'm his girlfriend. If he can't get a job it screws up my future too.

    • sure, you could always break up with him if you're so concerned about him failing to get a job (if that ends up happening) will 'screw up your future'. Till then, though, don't forget that you're just his girlfriend, not his mother.

    • I won't dump him for his clothing choices.

What Guys Said 14

  • some guys are cluseless about clothes... they don't look at themselves. he may be poor. he may just be clueless and will need help. if he responds to you helping in dress up, good. if he doesn't you need to accept who he is.

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  • I'm pretty sure I would still be hired at my job even if I were wearing DBZ shirts, because I'm paid for my knowledge and not my clothes.

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  • Girl you started dating him fully knowing what person he is. Sure, you could talk about him to dress a bit more modest in public - but it is him and you should date him for him and not to do some insane "I change you as much as I can"-bullshit. If you don't like who he is, then leave.

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    • I don't want to change his personality... just his clothing a bit.

  • holy hell it ltiterly sounds like your describing me. hey if you don't want him i'll take him.

    That being said well to each his own, such is a bit more of a lifestyle/hobby than maturity though it certainly is a factor. From personal experience I'd say just ease into getting him where you want him to be. If you go to the mall convince him to shop for more clothes if he really cares he'll certainly be willing to expand his wardrobe for your sake. Its really a matter on compromise on both parts, acceptance from you, and change (and or effort) from him

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  • Most Autistic people can't see much past here and now. Age comes a little slower. I wonder how he would do in Cos-Play? They are artists of a new trend and make a living from making and wearing costumes for prize money, touring, product display. Good Luck, this relationship will take a lot of devotion.

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  • First of all: Congrats. I know autistic people, and yes, they're less likely to change spontaneously. You need to reinforce every single change you want to have. And no, that won't end. It's like an old computer, in which you have to insert a new program memory with every single change. If I were you, I'd quit that.

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  • Don't force him to change, if he is autistic then more so don't push it, it's who he is just as much as anything else it is like as if you like the frosting but hate the cake, why get a cake when you can just eat tub after tub of frosting.

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  • Wow! There's one thing this guy has in common with me. We're both autistic! But I think he needs to grow up a little bit. Give up that stuff and dress nice when he wants to date you.

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  • damn i wore simpsons shirts till i was like 24.

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    • simpsons is fine. I mean at least it's older abit. & I'm sure all your clothes was like that. ALL of his clothes has cartoons on it.

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    • fuck these shoes fuck these pants fuck this tie fuck this shirt lol

    • I don't want him to wear a tie every day. Just a decent shirt. Not a shirt that says dragon ball z with a pair of jogging shorts like kids wear. A nice shirt with a pair of jean shorts.

  • It is a bit childish but people need to wear what they're comfortable in.

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  • You need to let him do his thing... if you try to force him he will begin to resent you.

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    • so I shouldn't ask him to wear a nicer shirt if we go on a fancy date?

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    • I do ask him if he likes certain things and sometimes I don't buy a specific item because he doesn't like it.

    • Bringing something to him and asking an opinion is way different then going to him and telling himnits time to change.

  • Cotton shirts feel better.

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  • Somewhat childish but you did say he's Autistic and he reminds me of the guys on the Big Bang theory

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    • Sheldon. Sorta but not the brains haha.

    • Sheldon is cool😊 But yeah like those guys

  • Him being autistic is a big factor. But no you're not crazy and yes he HAS to change his wardrobe and grow up.

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    • I just bought him clothing for his bday. He will be getting it soon. I'm sure he won't be very impressed but oh well. I'm so sick of seeing cartoon shirts! I didn't buy fancy clothes. I got 2 muscle shirts and a plain green shirt with a pair of jean shorts.

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    • yeah I got blue, red. I know red is his favourite color so thats why I got him red clothing xD.

    • lol nice!

What Girls Said 8

  • Sounds like you're describing Sheldon Cooper. Is your name Amy Farah Fowler, by any chance?

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  • he hasn't grown up and he lives in his own little world I mean it's fine from time to time but he really sounds like he still lives in his own world that's who he's going to be you're at a Crossroads of growing up and moving on

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  • Childish.

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  • In my personal opinion he must like what he like, but then again he should definitely change the wardrobe. Well at least for dates, and job interviews.. He should wear his regular clothing when there isn't any occasions or dates, nor jobs.

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  • He needs to grow up, you need to tell him how his appearance makes you feel. Being autistic has nothing to do with how he dresses or acts.

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  • he's childish. I could never imagine my 19 year old boyfriend dressing like that... he always dresses up, his every day clothes could be worn on a date or even to a job interview lol. The least dressed he gets is when were at home and he wears cotton tacksuit bottoms but always a nice shirt with it... but my sisters boyfriend is like yours... refuses to dress appropriate for his age.. is 26 and has his hair grown down over his face. he's just very messy looking. very immature vibes. You are fully correct and i hope you can convince him to dress for his age. i would be very disappointing in my man if he dressed so juvenile.

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  • You knew this all before you got with him I assume?

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    • Sort of. He had nice clothing and then his house burnt down and he ended up getting a bunch of donated clothing. two years later, he only gets childish clothing.

    • Maybe buy him a couple of t shirts, like not loads just a few cheap ones or whatever you can afford.. not too plain so he likes them but not with cartoons so you like them. Ease him into it kinda. Or even go on a shopping trip with him. Compliment him so much when he wears the normal t shirts you got him and tell him how he looks so hot etc keep kissing him and all that too. Just make him feel so good in his other normal clothes.

  • But is he a nice guy? Does he treat you with respect?

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