How does a guy who's been pushed around by guys and girls alike start building his confidence back up?

Cause whenever I do try to stand up for myself it comes across as that sort of insecure fake confidence and so it either doesn't work at all, or I end up going too far and getting into some kind of trouble. I realize that I need to find real confidence in order to get that balance.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know it's difficult, but try to stop caring what others think. Take inventory of what you feel are your flaws, decide which ones are worth fixing and which ones you can live with. Work on fixing what you can and don't let people see they're bothering you. Once a person knows they can get a reaction, they'll just keep on doing it. The more you react, the more they target you. I only take opinions to heart if the person means something to me and knows me, everyone else doesn't matter because they usually go as quickly as they came into my life.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Standing up for yourself doesn't mean fighting back or stooping to someone else's level. It means having enough respect for yourself not to feel ashamed.

    People can run you over when you have something about which you can be made to feel shame. That becomes a vulnerability in your armor that others can attack, but the only reason the attacks are effective is because you have some insecurity there.

    Lose the insecurities: that's how you can stand up to yourself. Learn how to be the bigger man, to seek positive outcomes instead of what you perceive as fair outcomes.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're trying to write a script or have someone write it for you. That's a mistake, so stop doing it.

    The number one rule for you is to be authentic. Chase your desires. Say what's on your mind. Make light of your flaws because they don't decide your happiness and fulfillment. Your authenticity does.

    Now, name personal goals that have nothing to do with people. Attack these goals, one by one. Live your life by these goals. Forget people, they come and go and it's not personal. What is personal is you and what you're doing to get to where you want to be in life.

  • You have to truly believe in yourself