How can I get older adults to take me more seriously?

I'm 20 years old. I'm a third-year college student. I know I'm young and I'm still learning. It just really bothers me how older adults (25+) immediately dismiss me and my ideas for being younger. I have this problem with dating too. Older men seem to ignore me for being young. Sometimes I wish I was older. What are your thoughts?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • My thoughts are fuck them, and do you. Meaning, why do you desire the respect of others who obviously don't care about it eh? You don't need them to accept you OP. Accept yourself, you're a third year college student young and learning while they are older and still learning oooo what's the difference? Age and that's it lol don't let their narcist attitude get to you. :) Live your life while your STILL young.

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    • It's just that some people really get on my nerves with their negative perceptions about younger people, including older people who ironically are immature themselves. Take a look at what someone said in this very same post about all 20 year olds being immature.

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    • @Iron_Man @Blonde401 (response he tried to block me from giving)
      You back followers youve never met before regardless of how idiotic their ideas are simply because they're your followers and you're telling me to get a life? I think you're even more stupid than this girl you follow lol. Who am I trying to get support from? From you? You must be delusional. I'm just defending myself lol. Seriously, grow up. .

    • And OffensiveGnome, I'm so sorry, but the stupidity of some users just really irritates me. Like to the point where I'm getting a stomach ache already.

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is going to happen to you a lot! It even kept me out of jobs for a while. Adults will always hold this stigma no matter how much you work to prove yourself. The most I did was dress "older" and behave more conservative around older adults. I also separated myself from other youths in the workplace or during internships. That of course means isolating yourself but if your goal is career related, it should pay off. Good luck!

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    • Great answer! It's unfortunate that many people hold so many negative perceptions about younger people, including people in this very same post.

What Guys Said 14

  • Well what ideas do you present and how do they dismiss you? It could very well be that they do take you seriously but that you are misinterpreting their response. for instance when an older person is warning against something or other they are not looking down at the younger person but rather warning them of possible consequences that they almost certaintly experienced themselves. Its not a dismissal but a realization that things seem like a good idea at the time but in hindsight turn out to be not so good which they are attempting to prevent the younger person from having to deal with that issue. Or it could be how you present yourself or it could be whom you are approaching (some people really don't take younger people seriously) So do you have any more, possibly specific examples?

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    • Great response! At least you're mature enough to understand what's going on unlike other users commenting on this post who are younger than you are and think they know it all. I was specifically referring to online dating. Guys don't seem to want to pursue a serious relationship with me and the ones who message me are the ones whose only intent is to hookup. I would like to be in a serious relationship with someone older and even have older friends. It seems as if they're only romantically interested in women their own age.

    • Well that is due to a lot of things. I for one would not really be inclined to date a younger significantly younger woman for several reasons, the biggest one being that I am at a different place in my life then a younger woman. I want to have a family that is what I am looking for, most younger women are just getting their lives going starting jobs etc so they are not thinking about having kids right now or a couple years from now so that would be an issue. So that is probably the one I would think is really causing you the most problem, hence the guys not really minding hooking up because this would be a nonissue for them since its not going to be a relationship. My other issues (which are minimal for me but may be a bigger issue to others) are how would we relate? Different musical tastes different tastes in shows etc (though for me I tend to be into things that are not considered to be for my age (ie games cartoons comics etc) so for me it may be marginal but for others it could be

    • a big issue. I also would have issues personally because I also have interestes in the exact opposite direction ie philosophy history mythology things like that which may not interest a younger person (not to say this holds true for everyone mind you) or also the issue of if their young they may want to be more socially active parting etc while I very much am not interested in that, again this doesn't mean all young people are like that (I personally have never been one for parties) only that it would be more commonly found in a younger person. The last issue would simply that its not really socially acceptable for a guy to date a girl significantly younger then him and that can create significant pressure to not approach. So those things in mind I would say consider these differences and if your still interested in older men taylor your profile to readily address those issues to help put their minds at ease and allow them to be more open to viewing you as a potential serious partner.

  • Been there, felt that, and HATED it!!! How do you not speak up when they say such stupid sht? Then you say, what you think, and they ignore it! 6 months later, they are scratching their heads, asking WTF? and you are thinking: I TOLD YOU SO!! DUMBASS!!

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    • Unfortunately, some people have a negative perception of all 20 year olds. Take a look at some of the things people have said on this very same post.

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    • My best friend once made a joke about something totally stupid, he said "They are just 'Ignorant' with a capital 'K'!!" Get it? :)

    • Just take a look at a comment some girl made a few posts below you. She claims to be mature for her age because she's 26 years old and does drugs. wtf? lol

  • In what way do they dismiss you for being younger? Do they say "You're 20, you don't understand"? Or do they simply dismiss your opinion? From my experience, no one ever dismissed me due to my age, if my argument was sound.

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    • Yes to both questions.

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    • Did you state that you're into older guys on your profile? I know that, when I tried online dating, I saw women that were like 19 or 20 and I wouldn't message them because I would assume they'd think I'm too old.

    • yes, I did.

  • You wish you were older? You will eventually get your wish. Then you will spend the rest of your life wishing you were younger.

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    • Ain't that the truth.

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    • Well, again, you are sort of generalizing guys your own age as immature. That is what these older people are doing as well. People generalize. It feels unfair because you are obviously thinking from your own perspective and you feel you buck the trend and stand out from the immaturity.

      Sometimes older people aren't mature. However, if that's the case, then why do you crave their acceptance so much?

      You have to remember that every older person was once that previous age as well. They know how they were then. Or their friends or peers. They are in a position of experience.

      If you want older people to take you more seriously, give them a reason to.

    • Good answer! I am glad that you admit that not all older people are mature. Some people in this very same post are too dense to acknowledge that. I crave their acceptance because I'm physically attracted to them as well. I cannot see myself dating guys my age. I never have. I would like to give them a reason to think differently, however it seems like most people already have this negative connotation in their heads and it would be very difficult to convince them to think differently.

  • I am a older man so now what? Lol

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    • Omg she's such a boring whiney child tho, seriously no wonder older men aren't interested.

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    • I failed at nothing I hardly know her. I backed her because she was nice

    • The fact that you just said that you backed her because she's "nice" and not because she has any valid points is the most ridiculous comment I've ever read. I don't even know why I'm responding to this childish nonsense. In fact, I don't even need to because Everyone else on this post agrees with me.

  • Wait till you are older and realize how stupid you were as a younger adult.

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    • Yeah, I did stupid things when I was younger that I regret now. I'm a different person now.

    • You're gonna say that about yourself again in 10 years. Learn from your past mistakes and see why older people don't respect you.

    • Yeah, Everyone makes mistakes regardless of how old they are. I never felt disrespected by older people. I just felt that they were not taking me seriously as a romantic partner.

  • i see all as equal

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  • Dress more formally. It helps.

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  • I'm just spitballing here, but I'm gonna say younger women around that age are immature and are inclined to play games and men that age really don't have time for that?

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  • I don't get it. Why do you care?

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  • They'll take you seriously if you make them serious.

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  • Do something smart n they'd take ya seriously

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  • Don't cry, its the real world "women up"

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  • If you were on our maturity level, we would acknowledge... You're more than likely like every other 20 year old who thinks they're mature for their age but inevitably.. not.

    We don't date younger chicks because they're as mature as 25+ year olds, we date you because you're immature and funner.

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    • I disagree. There are some 40+ year olds who are extremely immature and lack life experience despite their old age. I actually think I'm very mature compared to most 20 year olds. I don't party, do drugs, get involved with drama, etc... Plus, you're in your 20's yourself assuming that you put down your true age in your profile. With that attitude, you can't be any more mature than the average 20 year old.

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    • The 40+ year old shit falls into nothing I said, ---Are you really that narrow minded? Of course it does. It proves that older people can also be just as immature as children.

      "You are inevitably just as immature as any 20 year old you just have no social life." ---Says someone who has never met me in person and knows ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about me.

      What attitude? Reminding a twenager she's just as immature as the rest of the kids her age? Makes sense.---Another generalization. Says a lot about your "maturity" right? lol

      the mature people don't like you and ignore because you are infact (logically) not on any of their levels. But unfortunately like all "i'm mature for my age" immature chicks you fail to do so.---Now I'm convinced that you're just fucking stupid. Why? Because you're generalizing that all 20 year olds are immature simply because several people, including immature people like yourself, have a negative perception about them? You're just a child in a 25 year old's body.

    • "You're definitely not, you're asking for stangers opinions anonymously online about how you go about making adults not dislike you."---This is a Q&A website isn't it? smh

What Girls Said 6

  • My best advice is stop assuming you're coming across as more mature that you are. Stop trying to appear mature and don't say you're more mature than people who 'do drugs' because I do drugs and my sugar daddy does drugs but we're both professional people - drug use in itself isn't immature, it depends on how much money you're wasting on it that makes it immature but I digress. My point is - you think you're coming across as mature but from what you're saying, you're not coming across as that mature. Older men want to date young women who are fun, you may be coming across as too stuffy. I've always dated older men, since I was a teen and in my early twenties to now. I still get attention from older men because I still look young and am fun but I'm also mature because I'm in my mid twenties, so they get the best of both worlds. It may depend on what you've put on your profile or maybe your pictures are attention grabbing enough. So long answer short - stop trying to appear mature, just be yourself and have fun and realise you don't know as much as older people and there's nothing wrong with that. Yes it's frustrating but it's also something we all go through.

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    • I know that I'm still growing and that I have a lot to learn, but I don't do any of the things that most people consider to be immaure. It really bothers me that people assume that I'm just as immature as girls who want to start drama and do a bunch of other crazy things, simply because the vast majority of people my age are in fact immature. Let me ask you this. How do you define "mature"? And how do you think am I not coming across as mature? What can I do to come across as more mature?

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    • All I've done is disagree with everyone? Have you read each of my responses to every single person? I suggest you do so and get back to me when you do.

    • I also would like to add that being 26 years old does not automatically make you mature. I'm sure that there will be 40,50, and 60 year olds who will perceive you as being another immature girl, simply because you are still in your 20's. That was what this question was all about. You asked what I have experienced that other 20 year olds have not. Let's see: I was emotionally abused by babysitters and teachers, I was severely bullied in school and never fought back, I have had to work in order to help my mother pay for rent alone, I have had to care for my father who suffers from medical conditions and cannot work, and the list can go on and on. I can guarantee you that there are 30 and even 40 year olds who have not experienced half of what I've been through because they're used to having mommy and daddy do everything for them and only dedicate their lives to playing video games and partying all day long. You can think whatever you want, but it's the truth.

  • I don't care. I was worried before because of that, but i figured out that it's pointless. Whatever you do/say/accomplish they will always look at you like you are not mature enough. You should be aiming for your goal, and you don't have to prove your worth to anyone but yourself

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  • Same. Only difference is that you're legally an adult. But then again, you'd probably dissmiss my ideas as well.

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  • you have to show them you know what you're talking about

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  • Maybe you appear younger than you are or your ideas aren't great to begin with

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  • Try to show off your intelligence

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